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Acoustic/Alternative love song (by me).

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3:06 am, May 15 2009
Posts: 29


Hello!

This is a song I wrote and recorded (on my beloved MacBook <3) a few days ago. It's a quiet and calm acoustic song, so nothing for screamo/hardcore-lovers xD Love hurts ><

If I've caught your interest, you can listen to it at:


http://www.myspace.com/ohsosomber


Cheers smile


(Lyrics, if someone is interested:

You're bright smile give me goose gumps, every time you laugh,
and one short glance from your brown eyes, is all I need to last.

Cause you're the oxygen in my lungs, you're the taste upon my toungue.
You are everything to me,
everything to me.


And if I know you're happy, I can sleep well at night,
and even though we're apart, I will be alright.

But when I think that you're alone, all on your own,
I want to hold you near,
for you I truly care.

Cause you're everthing to me.


And even though we parted ways, I will always care,
quite a lesson to learn, that life can be so unfair.

You were the oxygen in my lungs, you were the taste upon my tounge.
You were everything to me,
and my mind wont let you be.

You're still everything to me, everything to me.
)

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Post #287921
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3:41 am, May 15 2009
Posts: 11


Kinda sad, but I like it ^_^
Nice voice too =D

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Fruit Salad
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4:11 am, May 15 2009
Posts: 1353


Not bad at all.
Nice voice. smile

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7:22 am, May 15 2009
Posts: 29


Thanks Miray2 and chuynuna smile And it is indeed sad, but then again, most inspiration tend to come from times when one is not the most happy person x)

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8:14 am, May 15 2009
Posts: 539


I like the melody

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8:56 pm, May 16 2009
Posts: 29


Thanks stubborn blob : )

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Sweetly Macabre
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11:50 pm, May 31 2009
Posts: 1005


I'm going to be the critic laugh

Your lyrics are great, they sound amazing!

Hmm. Your voice is very nice, but it lacks air support.When you go loud or very soft, your air support and technique falter. Make sure you have enough breath for a long, soft, and/or high note (it sounds like you take in air beforehand or exhaust the breath you have) A breath should last a good six or seven bars at least, holding strong throughout. Do you write music with a mark for where to breathe?
-Hold a longer note on your vowels (the "truly" stands out in particular). Remember to kind of: get onto your vowel sound, and stick to it for the note.
-Pronounce the constonants clearly without slurring. Even in a soft song, it sounds much better.
-Be a bit gentler with the guitar strings at the beginning. The rest sounds wonderful, other than the single hard note at the end. It seems out of place.

Otherwise I can't say much. You have a lot of emotion in your voice and music, it just needs refinement. And the lyrics and composition really are beautiful. You have a lot of talent smile

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