Hi,

after reading again one of this girl-wants-to-have-great-first-time-with-bf-therefore-goes-to-some-o ther-person-to-have-train-them hentais, a question popped up in my mind.

It's probably a stupid question, but has anybody of you actually done something like that in RL? I mean, did anybody of you ever go to some other person to have them teach you about sex? Like when you had little experience in sex and wanted to impress the person you like (or didn't want to embarrass yourself)? Or did it cross your mind?

I was under the impression that doing something like that is absolutely insane. It's something that can only exist in the plot of hentai, porn, and the occasional sitcom.

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I am sure there are people in RL who do that, esp. when the person is the type who's very concerned about whether they will impress the one they like (this can happen to both genders). It shouldn't be surprising at all. However, they don't go to the other people and ask them to "teach". That makes them sound stupid. They will just have casual sex with them and learn from the experience. Those hentai are just exaggerated.

Casual sex happens all the time. Some of those people perhaps do have "gaining experience" as the purpose. A friend of mine once told me, "you need that experience." I am not saying that he has done exactly what you said. But he did have various girlfriends and thinks that his life needs the experience.

Last edited by base_coat at 2:24 am, Jun 7 2010

Hm, okay I let "casual sex" pass, even if I think having sex just for "practice" is a somewhat strange/stupid reason.

It's complicated. What confuses me is the thought " I really like him, but I think I need more experience in bed before I have a chance". Maybe it's because I'm old fashioned, but I definitely would'nt go out with a girl that would sleep with other guys just to gain confidence - that would be really poor.

On the other hand, I could perfectly imagine this with guys. Getting experience for the sake of not embarrassing yourself sounds reasonable. Especially when the guy takes the lead. But then, would your girl really like it, if you had slept with other women just to have a good start?

The closest I ever got to doing something like that was watching some sex videos for advice.

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I think it should really depend on the person. If guys are "perfectly" imagined with that, why can't girls be too? And a lot of girls probably wouldn't go out with guys who slept with other women just to impress them either. It's actually the same situation for both genders. If it's stupid for guys, it's stupid for girls too.

Last edited by coffee_11 at 7:15 pm, Jun 6 2010

The problem with that analogy is that if we're stereotyping guys in such a way as to place them in specific roles, then most people assume that the guy's final goal is to have sex. The sex usually isn't seen as a means to an end, but as an end. And if it's not an end, then he's trying to be a player, so experience is accrued, but not focused at a single girl but instead his experience is to be used to satisfy many girls.

If we're not stereotyping things like this... Why is this guy have A) The opportunity to have sex with someone else and B) Why is he confident having sex with this other person and not with the person he actually likes.

So I still don't get it.

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These same two things popped in my head while reading Bloodkite's post.


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I'm not exactly sure what you mean with A. You want to know "Why does this guy have the opportunity to have sex with so else" right?

I don't think that is a big problem. Just like base_coat said, maybe he's having casual sex or rather having one-night stands.

Whereas B is a big problem.
If I'm stereotyping here, just like x0mbiec0rp, then I could imagine other roles than "just wants to have sex with her" and being a player. A stereotyped guy thinks that he has to completely satisfy his lover in bed. If that's not the case, then he is beginning to feel insecure ( to give an extreme example: it's like when you have ED and don't get "it" up anymore).
If the girl is way older than him, therefore having more experience, or she is a real beauty and a lot of guys want to have her, this guy thinks of his skills in bed as critical.

What happens in RL?
I could imagine some boys to think just like that. The question is, if they are desperate enough to really do sleep with other women to polish their skills. But I agree with you. If that's really the case, then they sleep with other women just to boost self-confidence, which would be a sign of poor character.

Doesnt... parents usualy take their childs to those whores for their 1st time in some countries?... that i believe fits as going to a 3rd person to learn.

I just go running to get stamina back up.

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