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Do you owe your parents for the gift of life?

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Poll
Do you owe your parents for having you and taking care of you when you were growing up?
Yes - W/out them I wouldn't be here, so I should do everything I can to pay them back
Yes - I will take care of them when they are older, but right now I am my own person
No - I am my own person, I will take care of them out of the goodbess of my heart, but I don't feel obligated to
No - Screw them, I didn't ask to be here. They made me themselves and they should be responsible for me, not the other way around.
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From User Message Body
vinceasuma
Post #58113
user avatar
Member

2:41 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1199


Quote from skittles
oh, I forgot to say,... I'd rather take my parents' advice on my career path.... although, yes I will probably regret it if I really don't like it. But, I might regret too, if I follow mine. They know "what's best", I think, so... screw my dreams laugh

My dad forced me into the military when I was young. Then he tried to force me to go to tech school and become an Air Conditioning repair man. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I were making 30k a yr crawling into attics and under houses.

To this day he refuses to accept that video game accessories and toys is a good job. Even though I make 3 times more than him!

Also, before A/C tech school he wanted me to go to occupational school to become a welder. I don't know how much a welder makes, but that jobs sounds hard and boring.

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Dark_Sage
Post #58114 - Reply to (#58111) by skittles
Member

2:46 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 278


Quote from skittles
oh, I forgot to say,... I'd rather take my parents' advice on my career path.... although, yes I will probably regret it if I really don't like it. But, I might regret too, if I follow mine. They know "what's best", I think, so... screw my dreams laugh


Whatever, it's your decision.

But for what it's worth, I don't think you're going to be living an enviable life.

Such reliance on your parents is...Well, I won't say sickening, but it's disturbing to me.

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chueisha
Post #58115
user avatar
Pomegranate
Member

2:49 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 2593


LOL though i don't like how i slave work but I do want to help them and all... since they did raise me up and i am their daughter.. plus i will be the same when i have kids lmao.

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moritana
Post #58117
user avatar
the(old)SRoMU boss
Member

2:55 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1500


i voted no. i was brought to this world by mistake, so i kno my mom had a tough life as a working teenage single mom while her ex is not the best parent on earth, but then i look back on the years i was thrown to my grandmothers care for 5 years, and the fact that most of my childhood i cried "i want mommy!!" into my pellow becuz i was terrified of my grandma's rage when she thought i was a "spoiled, lazy and depressed bad child" (belts, threats, shunning from the family, been through it all).
i might take care of my mom if she wont have other kids in the future, but i wanna escape my gramma asap. none

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skittles
Post #58118
user avatar
Member

2:55 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1566


(from the other topic)
Quote from Dark_Sage
Quote from skittles
Don't I have to pay them back, etc..? I have to look after them when they're old! And pay for expensive medication, and their housing, and then... whatever country they wanna go visit.


No. You don't.

Your parents made their decision to have you as a child knowing full well that they were having an independent child.

You owe them nothing. Do what you want, it's what most sane parents want of their children - for them to have their own life.

I can't stress enough that you're going to hate yourself if you're constantly a tool of your parents.

hahaha. I was kind of scared when I was reading your post. I had no idea how to respond.. But first, laugh my parents are not insane. Really... they are not. "Being a tool" sounds a little harsh, since I don't feel like I'm being used...

Quote from Lybi
lol well don't think of it as "paying them back" but rather caring for them out of the tenderness of your heart haha.

eek.. "paying them back", is that a bad thing? That's how I've always looked at things. uh-oh. Maybe... when I'm older, I'd feel differently.

Quote from vinceasuma
If you want to thank them for the gift of life, help them and support them when they retire. You don't owe them anything right out of college! They can't just quit working and depend on you because you have a diploma.

My parents kicked me out of the house at the age of 16. I wasn't even a Jerry Springer kid!
My mom always hated me so I lived with my dad, and when he got remarried he didn't want me around. Also my dad used my college money to buy himself a truck when he had midlife crisis.When trhey retire, they can kiss my a$$.

But in your case, feel free to help them out later- just remember you don't owe them anything.

I think I got us all off topic....we should be talking about female otakus, not why/how to get jobs......

Yes, this post! LOL. It made me laugh. Though, the way you put it makes sense. But it feels kind of wrong if I really don't owe them anything.

Quote from TofuQueen
No, I don't think you "owe" them anything. THEY decided to have a child, YOU didn't have any choice in the matter! eyes

I would think more that they have a responsibility to plan for their own future so they'll be able to take care of themselves when they're old. Not to get too morbid, but you (and all your siblings, if you have any) could die tomorrow - and then how would your parents survive old age, if they're just blindly counting on you to take care of them??

Of course if the time comes and they're old & need help and you're in a position to provide it, then you should help them, but I don't think that a child's job is to take care of the parents.

O god.. retirement plans. None at all. They've used all their money for me (and my brother)'s immigration and education. So, I'm protecting my life with all I can, so I won't die. Avoid all accidents. haha. I have to survive long enough to at least pay back all the education money they've spend. I don't want them wasting anything on me.

So,.. *touch wood* don't let me die, please!!!

Lybi
Post #58120
user avatar
Member

3:00 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 412


Hm skittles, what is the reason for you deciding to take care of your parents later?

Aw well. Everyone has their own priorities, and if you hold your parents' happiness higher than your own, than all the better to you. I wish to be as selfless too. I'd like to be able to care about someone else more than myself.

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Unknown
Post #58125
Member

3:03 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts:


Quote from skittles
So,.. *touch wood* don't let me die, please!!!
Euh, or just have a life insurance?

No but seriously, I like your dedication to your parents skittles.
I also personally feel the same, although my choices in life where not what they had hopped for. And that me and my father are always bickering over the most trivial matters. I don't think there ever was a single thing I ever agreed on with my father.... that's kind of sad.
And even though as I said I don't get along at with my father I still like him a lot. And I think it's my duty as the oldest child to take care of them when they will need me. (Probably it's all about culture and upbringing)

Quote from Dark_Sage
They thrust these terrible genes on me, knowing full well of their families history. People like my parents should never breed. I swear, my family tree's branches are rotting from sickness.

According to your own logic... you shouldn't be allowed to "breed" either. Since you have all their bad genes. Hope you stick with you convictions till the end.


Dark_Sage
Post #58130 - Reply to (#58125) by Unknown
Member

3:09 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 278


Quote from Stealth
Quote from Dark_Sage
They thrust these terrible genes on me, knowing full well of their families history. People like my parents should never breed. I swear, my family tree's branches are rotting from sickness.

According to your own logic... you shouldn't be allowed to "breed" either. Since you have all their bad genes. Hope you stick with you convictions till the end.


Don't worry. I have no intention of cursing any child I have. I'll have my genes checked out to see how many undesirable traits I could actually pass on.

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Seitsukire
Post #58131
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Member

3:11 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 22


I voted no.

The "gift of life" was forced upon me, so it's not as if I really feel like I owe them anything for that. If they think that I will take care of them later on just because they're my parents and gave birth to me, they're dead wrong. But, I will do what I can because I have grown familiar to them as a family and it's kind of like helping out a friend. Though, as far as my relationship with them goes, sometimes we get along, most of the time we fight. Although my parents and I are practically polar opposites, so interaction actually happens very little. As the poll says, I'd only feel like taking some care of them out of the "goodness of my heart", not obligation.

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skittles
Post #58143
user avatar
Member

3:36 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1566


vinceasuma eek... oh vince. I'm happy you are having a wonderful life now. Usually people with bad parents lead a terrible life. (my TV shows say so! Also, the newspaper..)

Dark_Sage LOL is it reliance? *checks dictionary* oh.. maybe a little. The important thing is, you're happier without your parents. And I'm happier if I get to help them eyes

moritana =*( you can always... call the police? Or find your neighbours? Or stays in a friend's house?? Grandmama should beat grandchildren!!!!

Lybi yeah... priorities. But it's not selfish if you are your own person... I think that's so brave.

Stealth *serious tone* insurance? I will get it.... but who will be paying it, since I have $0? laugh *chance is gone..* Anyway, oh <3 I'm not alone. Well... kids always argue with parents. I don't, but I know a lot who do, and they'd never say "I still love them". KIDS.

And yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. It's upbringing and culture. Family values, taught by none other than my parents!

Seitsukire oh.. interesting. "helping out a friend"

TofuQueen
Post #58206
user avatar
Crazy Cat Lady
Member

5:15 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1840


I surely don't expect my kids to take care of me in my old age. I *expect* to be independent and take care of myself, just as I am now, and just as my parents are now. If things don't go as I expect (wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure! roll eyes ) then I hope that my family will help me out as they are able, the same way I will help them out as I am able. However, I do feel that I am responsible for myself; I'm not going to *plan* to rely on others.

As I said before, *I* am the one who chose to bring my children into our messed up world, they had no say in it. Having made that choice, it is my responsibility to do my absolute best to raise them into responsible, mentally and physically healthy, independent adults able to function in our world. It's a responsibility that I take very seriously, and I'm honestly baffled when I hear about the stupid, irresponsible, and damaging things some parents do. (Not that I'm a perfect parent, far from it.) I just don't understand how they can do these things, allow these things to happen, whatever, to their kids. no

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Akillarian
Post #58214
user avatar
Member

5:35 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 138


I didn't choose to be born. So don't expect me to feel grateful that I was giving birth to. Since I wasn't the one who decided to get marry, and I wasn't the one who didn't think about protection, and I wasn't the one decided to keep it.

I wasn't the one decided to bring me into her screw up life, which she had cried alot of time telling me about how miserable it was back then, and she would continue doing so once awhile when she remembered the past.

I am do grateful that she worries about my wellbeing before her, and she'll probably die protecting me from a bullet if someone shoots at me. And she'll probably will kill someone too if that person has try to harm me since her temper is extremely hot. I am grateful that if she buys something to eat, she'll think of us and buy some home too. She'll lie and says she doesn't really want to eat them, so we should go ahead and eat the food ourselves.

When she gets old, I'll take care of her because of the latter, not because she gives birth to me. That I will never be grateful for.

TsukiGoKim
Post #58221
user avatar
Member

6:55 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 41


My parents tried very hard to have me; they said it was a miracle I was born. They were great to me and loved me, and even if I felt like it'd be a pain, I'd take care of them when they got to the point they could no longer take care of themselves.
Or I would have, but my mom died while I was in high school and my dad died 2 years ago when I was 22. When my dad died I was confused and I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself. I had a job, thankfully, but little college education and not enough money to stay in the house I grew up in. I wasn't ready to be independent, and 2 years later, I'm having trouble surviving.
But.
My boyfriend's parents have been wonderful to me; they've done more for me than I would have ever expected and I'm incredibly thankful. I don't mind taking care of them when they're older.

...
that's all.

moritana
Post #58226
user avatar
the(old)SRoMU boss
Member

7:45 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 1500


Quote from skittles
moritana =*( you can always... call the police? Or find your neighbours? Or stays in a friend's house?? Grandmama should beat grandchildren!!!!

i dont live with my gramma anymore. but i see her on weekends, and now, since she discovered that if im beaten ill defend myself and then go yelling about it, she tris to make me forget my childhood, and some other tricks like living her life through me and "u belong to me cuz were family". i do my best to avoid her, and im not too sure if ill let her be around my kids.

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garz
Post #58228
user avatar
Member

7:51 am, Sep 21 2007
Posts: 248


NO thats a big fat NO

most of the time the childs not planed they where just haveing fun



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