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Do you owe your parents for the gift of life?

Poll
Do you owe your parents for having you and taking care of you when you were growing up?
Yes - W/out them I wouldn't be here, so I should do everything I can to pay them back
Yes - I will take care of them when they are older, but right now I am my own person
No - I am my own person, I will take care of them out of the goodbess of my heart, but I don't feel obligated to
No - Screw them, I didn't ask to be here. They made me themselves and they should be responsible for me, not the other way around.
Other
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Post #58729
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Member

12:39 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 17


Im filipino and my grandparents lived with us for ten years. I didnt even know that senior homes existed until my mom started working in a rehab/senior home.

And my grandparents werent hindrances either. I saw them more than i saw my parents.

BTW my mom said that she'll haunt me in the afterlife if i ever send her to a senior home. but i would never send my parents to somewhere i wouldnt want to end up in.

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2:30 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 11


Well, In my opinion the circumstances are different in each family, I mean there's NO perfect family...
In my case I'm grateful not only for being brought to life, but because they do everything they can for me to have food, a place to live, etc. Of course, each of them have their faults, sometimes I get mad at them but then I understand that they have pressures and sometimes pick the wrong answer, like everyone does.

They are a lot of different parents: a friend of mine has a mother that is always by her side, NEVER gets angry and overprotective; another has a mother that almost never see her and likes to hang out with her friends, but she cares for her at least and gives her everything she wants; other that is very direct and my friend sometimes is scared of her (when she shouts) laugh ; my mom loves me and my brothers and sisters a lot and have endured also a lot (had my big sister as a single mother, when she was like 17) and have a lot of temper... She used to work, but not now because of my big sister that has an illness, and even though she is a bit cruel, and likes to chat a LOT, she does care about me and she even tells that she's willing to take care of my children if I can't in the future (you know if I¿m working or something, of course right now I'm too young haha)

Same with my father, he's deffinetely not perfect (I mean, I know how to organize money better biggrin and he doesn't express himself well, but I know he loves me...

Even though I love them they sometimes can be a pain in the ass no but for example, they tell me I can be anything I want, and supported me if I wanted to be "xx", so I'm grateful to them, but at the same time, I am myself and I can be anything I am, I'm not depending on them for everything...


-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-

Of course that's just me, everyone differs and f or example, my cousins don't have a father, and her mother is alcoholic, but they do have my grandmother and they have my uncle and my mother to help them...

They live with my grandma (who I see every year or so, because I live only with my family in a different city that all my other family) and sometimes they have problems with the money, and my aunt is rehabilitating because she opened her eyes, only after an accident (which isn't good) but is trying to make things up... I mean, she also suffered having raising 3 children herself alone, and even if they grew up like that, they are one of the best people I ever known (soemtime I envied them, because my mom says "look at them, they're not whining and you are" or something like that dead but I really like them) and they have forgiven her mother.

Also, they are lots of children who didn't have parents, or some who "parents"
is not a good memory, so I think that if someone owe something to someone It isn't necessary to be family, it can be only those who have supported you and made you realize what things are really important, those are the ones that I really want to give something back to them...

Also, you might think I'm crazy but, first.- I think god exists, even though I don't know why they are bad things happening always, wars or something like that, there must be a reason, Everything HAS a reason, even If we don't know what it is.
I also think that we might chose to be born or who to be our parents, because when we die and before we are born we have a soul or spirit, or whatever they call it, that can choose and know what will happen in the future, etc. And when we are born, we forget about it.
Also, they're lots of things that happen without explanation, or when someone sees a person you knew in dreams (like my mother did when she saw my grandpa the night he died) etc. that can be the spirit of other people who were like us, I mean, you can't possible think that only the things we see are all that it is, there's got to be more after or before we live in this world.


Everyone has the will to decide what to do with their own life, wether it be for the worst or the best, and also everyone have to have help form others, because we can't do anything alone (if you think it carefully, If you have a store and want to have a good bussiness, you need someone to buy, don't you?)
Some may kill themselves because of having a rough life, or some may still live after all and be an example to others. If you had bad parents, be a good one yourself, I you made a mistake, you just watch out to not make another like the past one, and continue to move on. Dead will arrive when It means to arrives.
For example, have anyone watched ONE LITRE OF TEARS? and seen the protagonist, well, my sister is like that, and even if she wishes to walk every single night, and cries, she still is thankful to still be alive, I am very thankful that she is still alive, even though it is hard to give her food like a baby, and bathe her, and get her to the bathroom, etc. I can still be able to talk to her, and she still smiles when I get her a new lipstick, or when spider man 3 came out... I mean everyone had a rough life, bad parents, or bad children, and still have to move on...

So I think that the people who does something, If they do something nice, to don't expect anything in return, like most parents, If I have kids, I wouldn't want to expect something in return, they may not give it to me, but at least, It will be good to know you've done something good, to be proud of it and to know they want you to be happy in your last days...

At least I want them to be happy in their last days, to get them to travel and live good, so I have to work hard to be able to do it and have me, my parents, and children a good life and things, both money and love and support...

Well, I guess that's all shy
biggrin (oops, I wrote a lot)

Last edited by lambchopsil at 10:26 am, Sep 13 2008

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Post #58795
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Member

2:59 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 1566


oh wow!!! SO FREAKING LONG! And, since you took the time to write it, it's rude not to read it, right?

Oh.. your sister. She must be thankful to have you to take care of her!

Anyway, well... even though my parents (probably) don't expect anything in return from me, it feels kind of bad if I don't give a big big gift back. Also, if I do something nice, YES I want something in return. Sorry, I am this selfish. But, if it's family, I guess it'd be different...

And me too! I have a friend whose parents never get angry. But in the future, she probably won't take care of them when they turn old (because she is a spoilt kid)

Post #58814 - Reply to (#58795) by skittles
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3:17 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 1650


Quote from skittles
oh wow!!! SO FREAKING LONG! And, since you took the time to write it, it's rude not to read it, right?

Oh.. your sister. She must be thankful to have you to take care of her!

Anyway, well... even though my parents (probably) don't expect anything in return from me, it feels kind of bad if I don't give a big big gift back. Also, if I do something nice, YES I want something in return. Sorry, I am this selfish. But, if it's family, I guess it'd be different...

And me too! I have a friend whose parents never get angry. But in the future, she probably won't take care of them when they turn old (because she is a spoilt kid)

It is human nature to want something back in return. It is the way of most people. Pity that it's true. It's the reason why the world seems to be doomed.

I have nothing against my parents. They get mad sometimes, but I love them. They're immigrants, so mainly, we all have each other. Corny, I know, but family is important to me. I get disgusted when teenagers, even my friends, ask for things like a car, or a computer, or a TV in their room. They're asking to be spoiled, and being spoiled is probably one of the worst things that can happen to you when you're young. Yes, I'm aware of abused children, etc. But I'm glad that my parents were very careful to not spoil me and my brother. They say that it's very tempting for parents to spoil their kids.

Post #58828
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3:29 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 1566


I think I'd be very strict with my children... yell until the neighbours can hear. I really don't want them to become spoilt.

And, I feel bad for asking something in return... But I really don't want to be used. If I'm too nice, people will take advantage <---- true nature of society.

Post #58906
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Inquisitor
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5:00 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 612


no matter how you were raised, i think you should be grateful to your parents for giving you life....might as well to commit suicide if you "didn't ask for life", 'cause there are so many people out there who want to live, but can't.....in fact, if you feel like you should commit suicide because of how society or your parents treat you, you should really go for it....this world doesn't need people who doesn't appreciate or understand the value of life......do you realize that there are many living beings out there, that'd strive for life, but is denied of their desire? it's not just about human beings, but also animals....those living beings that'd get slaughter just for human's need, want, or just as entertainments....life is equally valueable for any living being....a life of a dog is equal in value to a life of a human....it's just because that we're human, that we'd believe that our lives are more precious than any other animals.....that is why sayings like "i didn't ask to be here" or "i didn't ask for life" piss me off so much.......go chuck yourself in a trashcan if you "didn't ask to be here"...that's an insult to all the used-to-be living beings that you've consumed during your entire life.....

even if your parents were the cause of all your unfortunate accidents or traumatic events...even if your parents constantly abuse or complain about your existance....even if your parents committed horrible crimes or murders....there's no denying that they gave life to you....i'm not grateful to my mom just because she went through childbirth to labor to produce me....i'm not grateful to my dad because he immigrated to the US and work hard at night to give me a better future, when he could've stayed and live a luxurious life.....i'm grateful for my parents, because they had given me life, and had kept me living 'til this day.......it's my obligation to support them when they grow old, just like when they had raised me, but it's also my own life, and i'll live the way i think will give me happiness......i owe that much to all the used-to-be living beings that have been killed to sustain my own life.....

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Post #58962
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6:16 pm, Sep 22 2007
Posts: 78


I think I owe them something, for now I'll pay em back by not pissing them off with my stupid stunts.

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5:21 am, Sep 13 2008
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Not really. I picked the middle option. embarrassed
Well, they're still your parents, in the end.

But it's not like they consciously
decided "me", which didn't even develop
after several years of growing up as a child.

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Post #201848
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Uncultured
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5:26 am, Sep 13 2008
Posts: 2128


This is one of those "trick questions" mama told me about.

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Post #201856
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Sinon
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5:30 am, Sep 13 2008
Posts: 914


No - I am my own person, I will take care of them out of the goodness of my heart, but I don't feel obligated to

Is it what I chose..

Post #201858 - Reply to (#201856) by Rob1988
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Madame Red
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5:33 am, Sep 13 2008
Posts: 2172


Quote from Rob1988
No - I am my own person, I will take care of them out of the goodness of my heart, but I don't feel obligated to

Is it what I chose..

same

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5:38 am, Sep 13 2008
Posts: 830


My parents made the decision to have me and my siblings, it is there responsability to look after us and keep us happy, healthy and safe. Having said that my parents go beyond the bare minimum. They provide room for my 18 year old brother and took my 21 year old sister and her 2 year old son in when she split with her long term boyfriend. They also offer me room during university holidays, all for free (well my sister pays rent but it's tiny). Also my best friend lost her dad when she was little and was neglected by her mum, my parents treat her as if she is their own. They do so much more for me than just keeping me safe that I gladly do what I can in return. I am my own person though, I don't want to be shackled by family obligations. I will never abandon my parents when they need me but I have my own life to lead and it isn't going to keep me at home. I love my parents so much though I wouldn't want to cut them out of my life completely.

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Post #201863
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Curious
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5:40 am, Sep 13 2008
Posts: 596


Dunno...I came from the union of their egg and sperm cell so that must amount to something no?

Anyway, I'm lucky to have good parents and yes, I do care for them and will try my best to take care of them when they'll grow old for being such...

If they were different, maybe I couldn't have cared less. Love needs to be earned...it's not something that comes out just by being blood relatives imo.

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5:48 am, Sep 13 2008
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I have hardly little to no respect for my parents at all. I was raised by my older sister.

My mom was always very manipulated by my dad, she would do whatever he said, and after he left, she just started living her own life, ignoring the kids who hadn't left home yet. Which was me and one of my sisters. I'd always try to talk to her, have conversations, but the only responses I ever got were "Okay" or nothing.

But she was better than my dad. I refuse to even see him. He would single me and my brother out and yell at us, punish us and even hit us. If he wasn't angry, he'd maybe touch me, my face, my hair, my mouth. It was disgusting, and it got to the point where I would just leave the house if he was ever home.


I do not owe my life to them. They probably don't even want me to help them out when they get older. They have four other kids they can convince to do that.


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Common Fool
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12:49 pm, Sep 24 2008
Posts: 116


For letting me have a shot at life, id say i owe them. But i am my own person and will help my parents if they need my help.

Not because of they having made me, but because they have been real good to me and i will return the favor if they need me when they get old.

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