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How not to approach (ladies your input would be much appreciated)

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N0x_
Post #466570 - Reply to (#466529) by WandereroftheDeep
Member

3:17 pm, May 5 2011
Posts: 184


Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from miko amayo
People have already posted common pointers and what not...and...I don't have much to add.

Oh. Girls usually don't like guys who have put way too much Axe/cologne/whatever.

It makes you seem like you were too lazy to take a shower and just sprayed something "good smelling" to try to cover it.


Excellent suggestion! eyes I forgot to add that one; I also really hate it when guys wear to much cologne; it's suffocating and makes me want to throw up.

Personally, I don't really like cologne (they all have such strong smells; yuk dead ); deodorant is fine but PLEASE pick one that has a more neutral scent.


A lot of people say one thing and do another.

With that in mind, I just have to ask: Does cologne really matter?

It's not a huge deal to me, since I don't bother with cologne, but I can't help but draw a parallel between the complaints I hear about cologne and those I hear about women's makeup/perfume.

I hear a lot of guys complain about excess makeup and how it looks awful. I did too. Some things we didn't take into account:

1. We don't notice makeup most of the time when it's applied reasonably and done well.
2. We complain about makeup in the wrong setting/context.

Makeup, put on all the time, applied visibly and distinctly, does give the impression to many that the girl is vain and willing to spend much time and money trying to keep up a facade in front of everyone. That's in a public context. However, when a girl applies makeup, reasonably, and specifically for a date, even when she doesn't do it well, it does manage to convey some of her feelings: She's trying. That's one of the most important points, for me.

How do you girls honestly feel about that, or have you not considered that? Consider the scenario where a seemingly shy guy, never wore cologne before, but on the very day he awkwardly approaches you to start convo, you smell a hint of cologne. (Deodorant is not as obvious and does not convey the message.)

Would you not consider that somewhat flattering?

Completely different from a setting in which a guy is wearing cologne all the time, at the bar, flirting with everything with boobs. Does context/setting matter to any of you?


Last edited by N0x_ at 3:31 pm, May 5

Makyxed
Post #466573 - Reply to (#466570) by N0x_
user avatar
Member

3:48 pm, May 5 2011
Posts: 154


Quote from N0x_
A lot of people say one thing and do another.

With that in mind, I just have to ask: Does cologne really matter?

It's not a huge deal to me, since I don't bother with cologne, but I can't help but draw a parallel between the complaints I hear about cologne and those I hear about women's makeup/perfume.

I hear a lot of guys complain about excess makeup and how it looks awful. I did too. Some things we didn't take into account:

1. We don't notice makeup most of the time when it's applied reasonably and done well.
2. We complain about makeup in the wrong setting/context.

Makeup, put on all the time, applied visibly and distinctly, does give the impression to many that the girl is vain and willing to spend much time and money trying to keep up a facade in front of everyone. That's in a public context. However, when a girl applies makeup, reasonably, and specifically for a date, even when she doesn't do it well, it does manage to convey some of her feelings: She's trying. That's one of the most important points, for me.

How do you girls honestly feel about that, or have you not considered that? Consider the scenario where a seemingly shy guy, never wore cologne before, but on the very day he awkwardly approaches you to start convo, you smell a hint of cologne. (Deodorant is not as obvious and does not convey the message.)

Would you not consider that somewhat flattering?

Completely different from a setting in which a guy is wearing cologne all the time, at the bar, flirting with everything with boobs. Does context/setting matter to any of you?


I personally like cologne on a guy, just not a lot as that is suffocating and it does give the wrong image. I do take it as a trying to present himself in a good light; especially on the get to know one another first dates.

A small amount is a nice touch, at least for me...



sarah-eats-cupcakes
Post #466579
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his and her sonnet
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4:32 pm, May 5 2011
Posts: 1125


im not in a position to complain about excess cologne because i have a habit of showering myself in perfume xD
i dont get wats wrong with smelling good though(even if its suffocating),would you rather talk to a guy with bad odour?

WandereroftheDeep
Post #466580 - Reply to (#466570) by N0x_
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Mmm...Tasty
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4:34 pm, May 5 2011
Posts: 495


Quote from N0x_
Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from miko amayo
People have already posted common pointers and what not...and...I don't have much to add.

Oh. Girls usually don't like guys who have put way too much Axe/cologne/whatever.

It makes you seem like you were too lazy to take a shower and just sprayed something "good smelling" to try to cover it.


Excellent suggestion! eyes I forgot to add that one; I also really hate it when guys wear to much cologne; it's suffocating and makes me want to throw up.

Personally, I don't really like cologne (they all have such strong smells; yuk dead ); deodorant is fine but PLEASE pick one that has a more neutral scent.


A lot of people say one thing and do another.

With that in mind, I just have to ask: Does cologne really matter?

It's not a huge deal to me, since I don't bother with cologne, but I can't help but draw a parallel between the complaints I hear about cologne and those I hear about women's makeup/perfume.

I hear a lot of guys complain about excess makeup and how it looks awful. I did too. Some things we didn't take into account:

1. We don't notice makeup most of the time when it's applied reasonably and done well.
2. We complain about makeup in the wrong setting/context.

Makeup, put on all the time, applied visibly and distinctly, does give the impression to many that the girl is vain and willing to spend much time and money trying to keep up a facade in front of everyone. That's in a public context. However, when a girl applies makeup, reasonably, and specifically for a date, even when she doesn't do it well, it does manage to convey some of her feelings: She's trying. That's one of the most important points, for me.

How do you girls honestly feel about that, or have you not considered that? Consider the scenario where a seemingly shy guy, never wore cologne before, but on the very day he awkwardly approaches you to start convo, you smell a hint of cologne. (Deodorant is not as obvious and does not convey the message.)

Would you not consider that somewhat flattering?

Completely different from a setting in which a guy is wearing cologne all the time, at the bar, flirting with everything with boobs. Does context/setting matter to any of you?


I don't really wear that much make-up (on a daily basis I only wear powder, some concealer if necessary, mascara if I feel like it, and lipbalm when my lips are dry; if I were to have a date I would put in more effort, but I think that by now I'm pretty skilled in applying make-up) and I have perfume, but I usually forget to put it on, and I only have some that don't have a very strong scent (I also find it repulsive if a woman wears too much perfume; some put on so much that you can taste it in the air around them when you're talking; it's just that men are more prone to put on too much than women, because women's noses are usually more sensitive to scent (all for the purpose of selecting a genetically compatible mate).

But to get to your proposed scenario; if it's only a hint of cologne, it's still tolerable; if you can tell he's shy, most girls would probably find that endearing; but if I agree to see him again, I'd tell him that I don't like the smell of cologne, and I'd like it if he stopped wearing it (for me, it also has little to do with the kind of cologne; I haven't come across cologne of which I like the smell, in any quantity); I don't react well to any kind of strong smell.

Scent plays an important role when trying to find a suitable partner; if you don't wear perfume or cologne you have a better chance at finding someone who suits you. Plus, it's been proven scientifically that women find a man's natural scent more attractive than any artificial scents; so, I think you're better off not wearing any cologne, because the girl you're meeting could be like me and not like any type of cologne even when applied in the right amount.
And the skin on the places where you sprayed the cologne will taste really yukkie (I'm not speaking from experience but I know cologne tastes bad, from breathing the air around those who use waaaay to much, so I deduct that skin with cologne on it will also taste bad).

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ryousaki-sama
Post #466920
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7:01 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 146


well, when you put much of something, it kinda stings? [or is that just me?] anyway cologne is good in a moderate amount.
other then that, don't approach a lady while looking like a bum, and your hair looking like einstein's -_-

and you know those guys who are just to freakin lazy to fix their hair or for some other reason?, so they put a hat on top, it's noticeable , dude=_='' u will look crazy

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pumpupthevolume
Post #466923
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FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
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7:06 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 591


when a girl approaches me (and she's by her self) im usually interested because it takes alot of confidence (wow wrong word i meant courage XD) for a girl to do that, what gets me uninterested is when i find out whether or not if they're confident or just cocky lol, and when it comes to pick up lines i think i only use one (but i only use it when christmas is near), other then that i usually walk up to a girl and just try to be polite and funny (wow how the hell did i forget to say the pick up line XD)

i say "hey, um can i get a picture of you?"
she says "why?"
i say "so i can show santa what i want for christmas smile "
the response i usually get are giggles, and " awww thats so cute"

Last edited by pumpupthevolume at 7:25 pm, May 6

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WandereroftheDeep
Post #466928
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Mmm...Tasty
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7:15 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 495


Another pointer: don't stare at her boobs smile wink grin
I've noticed that a lot of guys do that, maybe without even realising, but it's a little offensive.
Whenever I notice that a guy is staring at my breasts, it always makes me think "well, I don't need to be psychic to know what he's thinking" bigrazz , and it's not like they're huge or anything, so it'd be hard to look away (they're only slightly larger than average, so I don't think it's such a big deal).

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powie_yowie
Post #466931
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7:19 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 8


I guess a common sense, a moderate amount of confidence, and a good sense of hygiene is key, but kindness and humor can be just as important. Then again, humor can be fatal. You want the girl to laugh, but one mistake and you get dubbed creepy, weird, and/or awkward.

Now, as a person with three creepers and two disgustees, I'll give you all the don't I got from those experiences.

DON'T:
- tell her she would look good in a certain costume
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
- invite her to your trailer
- play footsie (that's annoying)
- throw pieces of paper, paperclips, etc. to get her attention (SUPER annoying)
- pick your nose continuously for an hour and an half
- drool on her property and say, "It's just saliva."
- quiz her on history in the middle of a conversation
- correct her pronunciation of words

WandereroftheDeep
Post #466939 - Reply to (#466931) by powie_yowie
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Mmm...Tasty
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7:46 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 495


Quote from powie_yowie
DON'T:
...
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
...
- correct her pronunciation of words


Yeah... implying that you're fine with small breasts will get a girl angry with you about 99.9% of the times; small-breasted girls usually already have a complex about their breasts being small and you pointing it out to them isn't going to make things better.

It's not only breasts that are a sensitive topic; don't tell her you like big butts either; in girl-speak that translates to "you've got a big ass", and to girls, having a big ass is generally deemed not to be a good thing.

About correcting people, does it really tick people (not just girls but guys as well) off that much, because I can't refrain myself from correcting the other person if I hear a grave mistake, and I tend to correct people quite a lot, so I guess I'm pretty annoying. But when I hear people say things like "groter als mij" (translates into English as "larger as me", proper Dutch would be "groter dan ik") or when they use the accusative third person plural pronoun in subject position, that gets on MY nerves.

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sarah-eats-cupcakes
Post #466940
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his and her sonnet
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7:52 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 1125


oh and approaching a girl with a cigarette in your hand isnt cool at all!

Myuym
Post #466944 - Reply to (#466939) by WandereroftheDeep
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8:20 pm, May 6 2011
Posts: 276


Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from powie_yowie
DON'T:
...
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
...
- correct her pronunciation of words


Yeah... implying that you're fine with small breasts will get a girl angry with you about 99.9% of the times; small-breasted girls usually already have a complex about their breasts being small and you pointing it out to them isn't going to make things better.

It's not only breasts that are a sensitive topic; don't tell her you like big butts either; in girl-speak that translates to "you've got a big ass", and to girls, having a big ass is generally deemed not to be a good thing.

About correcting people, does it really tick people (not just girls but guys as well) off that much, because I can't refrain myself from correcting the other person if I hear a grave mistake, and I tend to correct people quite a lot, so I guess I'm pretty annoying. But when I hear people say things like "groter als mij" (translates into English as "larger as me", proper Dutch would be "groter dan ik") or when they use the accusative third person plural pronoun in subject position, that gets on MY nerves.


Yes, it annoys people, and it makes you sound like my mom. (which probably isn't the impression you want to leave)

Barisaxyphone
Post #467042 - Reply to (#466931) by powie_yowie
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2:49 am, May 7 2011
Posts: 167


Quote from powie_yowie
I guess a common sense, a moderate amount of confidence, and a good sense of hygiene is key, but kindness and humor can be just as important. Then again, humor can be fatal. You want the girl to laugh, but one mistake and you get dubbed creepy, weird, and/or awkward.

Now, as a person with three creepers and two disgustees, I'll give you all the don't I got from those experiences.

DON'T:
- tell her she would look good in a certain costume
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
- invite her to your trailer
- play footsie (that's annoying)
- throw pieces of paper, paperclips, etc. to get her attention (SUPER annoying)
- pick your nose continuously for an hour and an half
- drool on her property and say, "It's just saliva."
- quiz her on history in the middle of a conversation
- correct her pronunciation of words
I work in a big office and have a couple of creepers too
biggrin. So far that worst things I've had a guy ask me was "Are you expecting? and How do you know that your not?". My response back was "No, and it's none of your business", then I walked away. I'm not a very big girl, I'm like 5'4 - 5'5 and a size 4 plus I work out a lot. I found the are you expecting question very offensive.
But in reference to your don'ts I've ran across many of those issues and there are good ways of handling them and still come out nice to the people around you.

WandereroftheDeep
Post #467084 - Reply to (#466944) by Myuym
user avatar
Mmm...Tasty
Member

8:01 am, May 7 2011
Posts: 495


Quote from Myuym
Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from powie_yowie
DON'T:
...
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
...
- correct her pronunciation of words


Yeah... implying that you're fine with small breasts will get a girl angry with you about 99.9% of the times; small-breasted girls usually already have a complex about their breasts being small and you pointing it out to them isn't going to make things better.

It's not only breasts that are a sensitive topic; don't tell her you like big butts either; in girl-speak that translates to "you've got a big ass", and to girls, having a big ass is generally deemed not to be a good thing.

About correcting people, does it really tick people (not just girls but guys as well) off that much, because I can't refrain myself from correcting the other person if I hear a grave mistake, and I tend to correct people quite a lot, so I guess I'm pretty annoying. But when I hear people say things like "groter als mij" (translates into English as "larger as me", proper Dutch would be "groter dan ik") or when they use the accusative third person plural pronoun in subject position, that gets on MY nerves.


Yes, it annoys people, and it makes you sound like my mom. (which probably isn't the impression you want to leave)


Really, your mom corrects you when you say something that is grammatically, phonologically, or semantically incorrect? Mine doesn't, rather I'm the one correcting her; I know it's annoying, and I try to stop doing it, but sometimes the words have already left my mouth by the time I realise "okay, this is where I was supposed to shut up".
But since I have a habit of correcting people myself, I don't get annoyed that easily when others correct me; and it's not like I pounce on people's every little mistake, but there are just some things that I can't ignore. By now, I manage to keep my mouth shut most of the times, but sometimes it's out before you know it.

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Casey D. Geek
Post #467086 - Reply to (#467084) by WandereroftheDeep
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Meh...
Member

8:04 am, May 7 2011
Posts: 935


Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from Myuym
Quote from WandereroftheDeep
Quote from powie_yowie
DON'T:
...
- imply that you're fine with small breasts
...
- correct her pronunciation of words


Yeah... implying that you're fine with small breasts will get a girl angry with you about 99.9% of the times; small-breasted girls usually already have a complex about their breasts being small and you pointing it out to them isn't going to make things better.

It's not only breasts that are a sensitive topic; don't tell her you like big butts either; in girl-speak that translates to "you've got a big ass", and to girls, having a big ass is generally deemed not to be a good thing.

About correcting people, does it really tick people (not just girls but guys as well) off that much, because I can't refrain myself from correcting the other person if I hear a grave mistake, and I tend to correct people quite a lot, so I guess I'm pretty annoying. But when I hear people say things like "groter als mij" (translates into English as "larger as me", proper Dutch would be "groter dan ik") or when they use the accusative third person plural pronoun in subject position, that gets on MY nerves.


Yes, it annoys people, and it makes you sound like my mom. (which probably isn't the impression you want to leave)


Really, your mom corrects you when you say something that is grammatically, phonologically, or semantically incorrect? Mine doesn't, rather I'm the one correcting her; I know it's annoying, and I try to stop doing it, but sometimes the words have already left my mouth by the time I realise "okay, this is where I was supposed to shut up".
But since I have a habit of correcting people myself, I don't get annoyed that easily when others correct me; and it's not like I pounce on people's every little mistake, but there are just some things that I can't ignore. By now, I manage to keep my mouth shut most of the times, but sometimes it's out before you know it.


I do that too bigrazz
I can control myself pretty well, but the urge to correct mistakes is always there - and it only gets worse when it's a teacher who is wrong bigrazz

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WandereroftheDeep
Post #467088
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Mmm...Tasty
Member

8:15 am, May 7 2011
Posts: 495


I know that feeling; when I hear one of my teachers (I study English in university, and one of my teachers always says "more clear" instead of "clearer") make a grave mistake, a little voice inside my head is just screaming "they're supposed to know that~".

And even though I should be writing a 2500 word essay (and start getting ready for work), I'm here posting random messages roll eyes .

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