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Post #487875 - Reply to (#487843) by the-burden
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Certified addict
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7:04 pm, Aug 7 2011
Posts: 301


Quote from the-burden
I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not enough money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Don't mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience and everything, but it's not a fact. Maybe some high maintenance women need you to be cashed up for them to stay with you, but those kinds of women don't deserve your attention to begin with.

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Post #487891 - Reply to (#487875) by Turbophoenix
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8:25 pm, Aug 7 2011
Posts: 560


Quote from Turbophoenix
Quote from the-burden
I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not enough money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Don't mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience and everything, but it's not a fact. Maybe some high maintenance women need you to be cashed up for them to stay with you, but those kinds of women don't deserve your attention to begin with.

Actually, I agree with the-burden's point about needing money to keep a long-term relationship alive, or at least in the beginning(when you're deciding whether this person is worth your time). Wouldn't you like to go out for a nice date every now and then? Wouldn't you like to spend time in a new place together and have some nice memories? Wouldn't you like your SO surprising you with a gift? I'm talking about both sides,whatever gender you are. I'm pretty sure guys would be just as ecstatic if his girlfriend bought him a new game or gym equipment he's been raving about. Relationships are normally quite expensive, even if both people are pulling their weight(which they should).

"Oh I don't want him buying me things," girls can usually say. Try putting up with your boyfriend not buying you a single gift for your whole relationship then. I want to marry someone who will help me maintain a life that is financially stable, no matter how much I love him. "Love" can't be the only thing that makes a relationship go. You have to think about yourself and what kind of future you want. Would you rather be with someone that you love with financial problems or a different person that you also love without those problems?

Anyway, my two cents regarding the OP's question is for long-term relationships. IMO the most important part of any relationship is communication. If a relationship has communication problems, then you are bound to fail, unless you both fix it correctly. Proper communication means using proper judgement, patience, honesty(with proper judgement), listening skills, respect, understanding, an open heart, and sometimes humility.

You feel insecure? Talk about it. You want more sex? Talk about it. You don't like how he does something? Talk about it. This is what frustrates me about shoujo: there are always communication problems and they blow up into a huge conflict. If everyone calmly talked about their problems, then they could be solved with the least damage, even if a break up is due to happen. And sometimes, that's not a bad thing...If the other person is not communicating well, be patient and help them open up. If two people really wanted a relationship to last, they should be willing to listen to each other and talk it out and come to a resolution.

TL;DRLearn how to communicate effectively and you have a stronger relationship.

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The Shorty
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8:50 pm, Aug 7 2011
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I would say there would be no "perfect" way, everyone likes something different in someone. eyes

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Post #487897
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10:01 pm, Aug 7 2011
Posts: 705


Quote from Oriolidae
Quote from StarlightDreams
Get to level 99 on pokemon.
And give him/her pickles on his/her birthday.

eek eek eek eek eek

That would SO work on me. bigrazz


Might as well get to lv100.

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Post #487932 - Reply to (#487891) by daisukidesuyo
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1:27 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 301


Quote from daisukidesuyo
Try putting up with your boyfriend not buying you a single gift for your whole relationship then.

I was already in a relationship like that. I think I got maybe 3 gifts over 2 years, and I spent thousands on her. It didn't bother me at the time.

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Post #487940 - Reply to (#487843) by the-burden
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his and her sonnet
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2:31 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 1127


Quote from the-burden
I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not anoth money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Dont mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.

you said it yourself.shes not a gold digger so theres much more to this than just money
look,i know its hard to get a job nowadays..companies are getting rid of people so you have to be extremely lucky to get into one
BUT thats exactly why she left you
having spent 2 years with you im sure she started thinking of the future..how can she expect a stable relationship with someone who isnt stable himself?(financially bigrazz)
how can she feel secure with you?how can she be sure that you can protect her and shelter her?
its not enough to be kind and sweet
Quote from daisukidesuyo
I want to marry someone who will help me maintain a life that is financially stable, no matter how much I love him. "Love" can't be the only thing that makes a relationship go. You have to think about yourself and what kind of future you want. Would you rather be with someone that you love with financial problems or a different person that you also love without those problems?

exactly smile

Post #487957 - Reply to (#487940) by sarah-eats-cupcakes
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4:50 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 284


Quote from sarah-eats-cupcakes
Quote from the-burden
I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not anoth money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Dont mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.

you said it yourself.shes not a gold digger so theres much more to this than just money
look,i know its hard to get a job nowadays..companies are getting rid of people so you have to be extremely lucky to get into one
BUT thats exactly why she left you
having spent 2 years with you im sure she started thinking of the future..how can she expect a stable relationship with someone who isnt stable himself?(financially bigrazz )
how can she feel secure with you?how can she be sure that you can protect her and shelter her?
its not enough to be kind and sweet
Quote from daisukidesuyo
I want to marry someone who will help me maintain a life that is financially stable, no matter how much I love him. "Love" can't be the only thing that makes a relationship go. You have to think about yourself and what kind of future you want. Would you rather be with someone that you love with financial problems or a different person that you also love without those problems?

exactly smile



Exactly so I am right in the end you need money to hold a long lasting relationship. Because in the end it all comes down to money not how much you love the person.

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Post #487959 - Reply to (#487957) by the-burden
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5:01 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 7784


Quote from the-burden
Because in the end it all comes down to money not how much you love the person.

Jaded as ever. What the relationship needs to stay in one piece
depends completely on the nature of the relationship itself.
Were it a religious, ascetic union, no money would be necessary,
but sharing the way of thinking would be. Were it for the feeling of belonging due to
a certain ideology, staying true to the ism would be vital.
If you were to date a diva, sure you would need cash.
It's all about fulfilling expectations and getting someone to buy you
stuff is not what everyone expects.
Not everyone dreams of a car, a mortgage, kids and a Labrador retriever.

Post #487966
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6:50 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 208


Quote
Jaded as ever. What the relationship needs to stay in one piece
depends completely on the nature of the relationship itself.
Were it a religious, ascetic union, no money would be necessary,
but sharing the way of thinking would be. Were it for the feeling of belonging due to
a certain ideology, staying true to the ism would be vital.
If you were to date a diva, sure you would need cash.
It's all about fulfilling expectations and getting someone to buy you
stuff is not what everyone expects.
Not everyone dreams of a car, a mortgage, kids and a Labrador retriever.


Very well said. Would you want to be with a girl with no money when you have no money either? Would you be happy? Obviously, as normal householders (as opposed to hermits in the mountains or ascetics), we need money to live! To live in a house and live a normal life, obviously someone has to have money! If one person in the relationship doesn't, then that person would probably have to be a bit of a slave to the person with the money (as in the case of traditional couples like my parents)! none

Post #487967 - Reply to (#487957) by the-burden
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his and her sonnet
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6:52 am, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 1127


Quote from the-burden
Quote from sarah-eats-cupcakes
Quote from the-burden
I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not anoth money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Dont mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.

you said it yourself.shes not a gold digger so theres much more to this than just money
look,i know its hard to get a job nowadays..companies are getting rid of people so you have to be extremely lucky to get into one
BUT thats exactly why she left you
having spent 2 years with you im sure she started thinking of the future..how can she expect a stable relationship with someone who isnt stable himself?(financially bigrazz )
how can she feel secure with you?how can she be sure that you can protect her and shelter her?
its not enough to be kind and sweet
Quote from daisukidesuyo
I want to marry someone who will help me maintain a life that is financially stable, no matter how much I love him. "Love" can't be the only thing that makes a relationship go. You have to think about yourself and what kind of future you want. Would you rather be with someone that you love with financial problems or a different person that you also love without those problems?

exactly smile



Exactly so I am right in the end you need money to hold a long lasting relationship. Because in the end it all comes down to money not how much you love the person.

yes and no.
let me give you an example
this happened to my friend last year..she was hanging out with a guy
they were both hungry..he suggested stopping at a really pricey restaurant
and thats why she made sure she had enough money to pay for her own meal before going in(see?she didnt want him to pay for her)
so when the receipt comes ,what did he do?he went out and left her..yes she paid for both him and her
that was very rude,not to mention pathetic
you see not all girls want expensive gifts
i never let guys pay for me,and i know alot of girls who do the same
BUT ,i would atleast want to feel that you're reliable...if i needed money for example,i could turn to you

Post #488125 - Reply to (#487843) by the-burden
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Ancient Alien
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7:44 pm, Aug 8 2011
Posts: 312


Quote from the-burden
Quote from DorkFishOK
Quote from the-burden
Have lot's of money, woman like men who can pay there way through life. All that bollocks of for better or for worse when you get married is bullshit. A woman will drop you in a second if you have no money. Your sex could be the best but if she is paying for most of the contraception and late night dinners then it won't last.

Woman = Money

That's a fact if any woman tells you otherwise they are miserable, in denial and most likely a lier. In other words have a job buy her things don't complain and if you do admit you're wrong afterwards because all woman think they're right and even if they are not right they at least think they have a point.

Oh and another thing don't sit there with a blank expression on your face woman will always say what's up? They will repeatedly ask this question until it anoys you to the point where there is now something up.

I hope I have enlightened you about how to be a perfect boyfriend. If I were you I would fuck em and leave them. Never get them pregnaunt otherwise you'll have to commit to something.


My good sir... Just what the hell kind of women have you been with?


I was with a loving caring woman for 2 years until she got sick of me not having a job and being more or less broke all the time. I soon realised that no matter how kind I was which honestly even she would agree I was kind and helpful with chores and mostly everything.

It did not matter because I had not anoth money to go out and pay for certain things for her.

Dont mistake this woman for a gold digger because she was nothing of the sort but it's just a fact that you need money to keep a relationship strong.


I really think that depends what people's priorities are. I know somebody quite like that, who would rather have financial security than a relationship. I also know another person who would throw away her own financial security if it means she doesn't have to be alone. Maybe the woman you were with was not like this, but I think women in our society expect certain things from men because a lot of us were taught at an early age that when a man is willing to pay for you and buy you things, it means he values you. I certainly don't believe this is true but some women have those values and ideas deeply instilled. If those things are not accomplished than those women will feel that they might as well just depend on themselves if their, er, suitor is not very dependable. But make no mistake that there are lots of women who do not see financial stability as a necessary quality.

Also this woman was just one woman. Not every woman is alike and when you think all women want the same thing you are only going to run into women who want the same thing. But anyway, I am sorry that your relationship ended like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ7wT4CUprQ


Post #488381
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Member

1:33 pm, Aug 9 2011
Posts: 705


Nice hair
+ Level 7 Psychometry.

And you're set.

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"I'll shut your mouth~~~~~ with mine~~~"

二息歩行
Member

2:17 pm, Aug 9 2011
Posts: 214


if you're asian, talk
if you're white, listen

thats about all. asian shut up too much and don't talk to their partners about many things. the whites talk too much they sometimes failed to listen to their partners. either way, communication is the key.

sorry if the post looks racial, it isn't

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Member

2:36 pm, Aug 9 2011
Posts: 126


if you are latinoamerican... dont be perfect... if you are... she may kick your ass and find someone who isnt, because woman likes rollercoasters and no safe trips

Post #488414 - Reply to (#488394) by sakura8429
Member

3:27 pm, Aug 9 2011
Posts: 390


Quote from sakura8429
if you're asian, talk
if you're white, listen

thats about all. asian shut up too much and don't talk to their partners about many things. the whites talk too much they sometimes failed to listen to their partners. either way, communication is the key.

sorry if the post looks racial, it isn't


Poor black guys.

They are perfect?

Last edited by Klapzi at 3:38 pm, Aug 9 2011

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