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Am i paranoid?

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fr33noob
Post #572464
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0n3 Winged
Member

11:32 pm, Oct 4 2012
Posts: 603


Met a girl in a club, slept with her the first night then started dating her...
Found out a few days later she had slept with my good friend 2 days prior to meeting her which she kept a secret.
Didn't mind too much...but this is where it gets tricky.

She has this box of condoms...which we use and i know for a fact we didn't us them all but when i come over next time they were all gone.
Guy named lee texted her whilst i was there saying he was outside, she made up and excuse to get rid of him that doesn't include me and they are just friends apparently.
Her sister who's 13 also said by the stair to her "both guys here at the same time!?".

Still, i overlooked this but now i feel paranoid and she's had a 1 girls night out and today is the second i know about and she had no intention of telling me she was going out.

SHould i break up with her or am i just ****ing paranoid? I feel like some kind of chump...been dating a mounth now and she went out practicaly wearing nothing.


---------------------------------
I tried to shorten it as much as possible but i need to hear other peoples thoughts on this, its never good to brood in ones own head too much.

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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Syphilis
Post #572476 - Reply to (#572464) by fr33noob
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A dignified
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1:43 am, Oct 5 2012
Posts: 473


Quote from fr33noob
Met a girl in a club



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"I'm not telling you to always do whatever you want. I'm saying you should do just as many things you want to do as things you don't want to do. That's what life's about."
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fr33noob
Post #572478 - Reply to (#572476) by Syphilis
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1:48 am, Oct 5 2012
Posts: 603


[quote=Syphilis][/quote]
Was introduced through a friend...maybe that sounds better? Club is where we were eventually. XD

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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whitespade
Post #572503
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8:11 am, Oct 5 2012
Posts: 400


sorry guy, i think she's a player. some people dont care but it is obvious you do, so if you dont want to get hurt more, just break up.

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mogiks
Post #572515
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11:55 am, Oct 5 2012
Posts: 783


I'd confront her about it (not too confrontational, try to be reasonable...) to see what she says and how she acts. It does sound like something's up but it might not be, just tell her everything you've noticed and give her a chance to listen and explain everything, and if you're not satisfied with her responses or she's acting way too shifty then say you think you should break up. If you just break up with her without being open with her and giving her a chance to explain, there'll always be a doubt in the back of your mind that maybe your concerns were unfounded and there was an innocent explanation for it all, and you ruined a good relationship. Not gonna get very far in a relationship if you can't be open and instead just have the instant reaction of breaking up as soon as something makes you doubt you can trust her.

If you don't break up and you're worried about this other guy, ask her to introduce you to him so you can do a bit of reconnaissance, work out their relationship and make it clear to the other guy that you're in a relationship with her if necessary.

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sarah-eats-cupcakes
Post #572517
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his and her sonnet
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12:44 pm, Oct 5 2012
Posts: 1125


sounds like she might be loose? i think its perfectly normal to be paranoid given all the heavy hints you mentioned, but that also means that you're beginning to develop feelings for her? i dont know just try to get to know her better it doesnt sound like you guys are emotionally close...yeah just try to get to know her better thats pretty much the only thing you can do to give you a better insight into what kind of girl she is

fr33noob
Post #573150
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0n3 Winged
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2:40 pm, Oct 10 2012
Posts: 603


I spoke to her and damn, after seeing this girl i think i may need my head examined by a professional.
Turns out the night she did go out guess what? She whith held this info but apparently she was grinding on 3 guys on the dance floor whilst i wasn't there and after me grilling her she admitted it.

This is not normal, right?

Hmmm, I bring a weird issues to a manga forum...
Bleh, now to think what to do...
Strangers of the internet, let me hear your thoughts laugh
------------------------------------

My friends suggested to me i go out and cheat and have a couple of one night stands so it won't bother me at all if she had/has cheated on me. The moment i do this, i will begin to play with fire. Should i...?

Last edited by fr33noob at 2:54 pm, Oct 10

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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VaahS
Post #573155
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3:03 pm, Oct 10 2012
Posts: 8


Break up with her '-'
That is if you don't like being cheated... What it is obviously happening
Even her sister gave a hint... sad

sarah-eats-cupcakes
Post #573164 - Reply to (#573150) by fr33noob
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his and her sonnet
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4:09 pm, Oct 10 2012
Posts: 1125


Quote from fr33noob
My friends suggested to me i go out and cheat and have a couple of one night stands so it won't bother me at all if she had/has cheated on me. The moment i do this, i will begin to play with fire. Should i...?

cheat on her? dude, why are you deluding yourself like this? this girl clearly doesnt have any remote feelings of commitment to this relationship...why else would she do this? if it looks like this relationship is bound to be doomed in the end then you might as well save yourself now. dont make this mess bigger just end it now and hopefully she'll learn to respect her future partners enough to break up with them if she doesnt intend to be serious about the relationship

mogiks
Post #573165 - Reply to (#573150) by fr33noob
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4:25 pm, Oct 10 2012
Posts: 783


Quote from fr33noob
I spoke to her and damn, after seeing this girl i think i may need my head examined by a professional.
Turns out the night she did go out guess what? She whith held this info but apparently she was grinding on 3 guys on the dance floor whilst i wasn't there and after me grilling her she admitted it.


There are people who don't think there is anything wrong with grinding on others despite already being in a relationship, and it's debateable whether that could be considered cheating as long as nothing else happens, but if you're not comfortable with your girlfriend doing that then just say so, and if she refuses to compromise on that point then the relationship is probably not going to work out and you might as well end it right there. Even if she says she will stop, you can't really know what she's doing when you're not around, but if you want it to work you should try to trust her unless you have firm evidence she has been unfaithful.

I think it's a good sign she was honest with you after you confronted her, but by withholding this information it seems clear she knew it was a breach of trust and did it anyway, then kept it from you. It doesn't seem like she's all that trustworthy. If you want to continue the relationship I think you should talk with her and establish clear boundaries as to her behaviour with other guys, then she has no excuse if you find out in future she has breached your trust.

Personally I'm against cheating within a serious relationship no matter what so I wouldn't advise you to go out seeking to cheat, especially without even knowing whether your girlfriend has sexually cheated on you for sure or not. It's just cheap pre-emptive revenge, it will only foster bitterness and distrust within your relationship and a break up will be inevitable. You're not really getting any benefit out of cheating and I wonder why you are even in this relationship at all if you're open to the suggestion of cheating. If you're serious about her, that shouldn't be an option, especially as you are expecting the same from her toward you (i.e. it's not an open relationship & faithfulness is an important aspect of the relationship, expected to be observed by both parties). If you're seriously considering cheating on her then I think it would be better to just break up with her now. Then you're rid of her and all your worries and you can go have sex with whoever you want with a clean conscience, or find someone else to have a serious relationship with.

But that's just my opinion, I guess. You have a better idea of what's going on in the relationship so ultimately it's your choice.

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KaoriNite
Post #573216
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1:28 am, Oct 11 2012
Posts: 382


I know you say that you're dating, but have you guys ever talked about being exclusive?
If you have, I'm sorry, it sucks that your girlfriend is cheating. You should probably breakup because, as someone else said, she doesn't respect you or her relationship with you.

If you haven't, I think you have to lay out exactly what you want from this relationship and figure out if that's something she can really give you.

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fr33noob
Post #576378
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0n3 Winged
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8:15 pm, Nov 8 2012
Posts: 603


lol laugh
I'm still dating her...Am i a masochist?
Its only gotten worse as well...she gets turned on by the thrill of almost getting caught.
I still don't have solid proof.

I'm too much of a weak source in confrontations. I need to do something...but i feel like i just lost a game laugh
Fuck my life.

________________
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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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chast
Post #576507
Member

11:52 pm, Nov 9 2012
Posts: 8


are you for real? you just meet her and she slept with you, 2 days before your meeting she slept with a friend of yours and you belive you are paranoid? Use your common sense, the girl is a whore. I suggest you to forget about her and find someoane else, because its obvious to me that you want something else from a relationship,

Badkarma
Post #576516
user avatar
An F to judge M!
Member

2:13 am, Nov 10 2012
Posts: 346


Pffffft...! Why the fuck do I even see people trying to give this clown advice anymore? I think it's perfectly fair for me to point and laugh by now, right?

But! For my own personal amusement, do you spend money on this, err... young lady? Does she live with you? Have... *snicker* have you introduced her to your parents?

"Sh-Should I cheat on her?"

LLLLOOOOOOOLLLL!!!! Holy fuck, I'm printing this thread out...

sarah-eats-cupcakes
Post #576534 - Reply to (#576378) by fr33noob
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his and her sonnet
Member

7:27 am, Nov 10 2012
Posts: 1125


Quote from fr33noob
lol laugh
I'm still dating her...Am i a masochist?
Its only gotten worse as well...she gets turned on by the thrill of almost getting caught.
I still don't have solid proof.

I'm too much of a weak source in confrontations. I need to do something...but i feel like i just lost a game laugh ...

*pats dude on the back* i hope you sort this situation out sooner rather than later

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