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rexytheking
Post #591620
user avatar
Member

6:06 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 162


So life really sucks. It pisses me off too much of the time and I hope at least someone here feels the same way. I'm as close to an otaku as can be and am a complete truant. I have virtually, actually, no friends at all. Whenever I have a problem, I'm lost. I have nowhere to go, no one to go to, no place to rant(until i found this place). It really all comes down to a sudden realization: man, I'm lonely.
I thought pushing away my otaku friends would raise my grades somehow. I thought pushing away my academic friends would make me not compare myself with them so much. I thought pushing away the girl i liked would free myself from drama. I thought pushing away my friends would spare me the bullying that might happen with their friends.
And i would have kept on doing this until, as i stated before, i realize that man...i'm lonely. I have no one to rely on, no one to help me, no one that calls me when i'm sick, no one to ask for homework, no one to work on projects with, weekends are spent 90% of the time at home. The other ten percent is usually out eating or something. Aka, I have no social life whatsoever, it's kind of hard to have one when you push everyone away after all...
In the midst of all that, the only thing I can and have relied on is manga and anime. I follow updates religiously(will read an update of my favorite mangas literally minutes after it's updated). I read manga probably twice the time i go to school. My life revolves around manga. If I'm sad about something, i read manga. If i'm pissed at something, I read manga. If i have to do homework(now), i read manga. And for the past year, it's worked. By a year is all it will work for. Without friends, I'm just living a pathetic and empty life, and yes it's sad.
Well that's my rant. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I hated typing it. This is more of a desperate measure and a cry for help i guess. Don't worry, I'm not a suicidal maniac who doesn't have a way out. If i had to compare myself, I'm like Araki from Denpa Kyoushi, except without the gender bending tendencies and the vmmorpg to escape society... I guess i'm just waiting for someone to actually be that "kagami" to appear in my life. Just the one person who notices me being nice, who notices i care for others, who notices my pain.
Sorry if this bummed you out, it bummed me out... I'm not trying to find the person to "save" me, (haha sounds funny, like a real life manga, i wish...) I basically wanted to see how many, if any, actually feel the same way I do. If anyone does, gimme a message? I'll try and help you through it, I'm much better at helping people through stuff that helping myself. (also known as procrastination and wanting do everything but what you're supposed to...) I guess strength in numbers could help? We can get through this together! *hopeful*

Transdude1996
Post #591622
user avatar
Member

6:22 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 346


Cool story bro. Now, what do you want to happen? The reason I'm a bit confused is that you describe yourself as pushing everyone away when your not on the computer, being very secluded from the world, basically saying your looking for help, and then the last paragraph sounds like you want to help people through the same troubles even though you're not willing to stop your own. So what do you want to happen? You want us to give you advice, come here and say we're going through the same thing, what do you want us to do?

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rexytheking
Post #591624
user avatar
Member

6:37 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 162


What do i want to happen? I'm basically describing my life to random people on the internet, and if history is a good indicator, the internet is not a place you go to for advice. So rather than seeking advice and help, what i "want" is to find other like minded individuals who feel the same way. I don't "want" you to do anything. You seriously don't have to. I just wanted to see other's opinions on the matter, that's all. And what better place than an open forum where no one knows who I actually am, to rant about my life's woes?

Transdude1996
Post #591626
user avatar
Member

6:46 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 346


Okay, that cleared everything up, thanks for the clarification.

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RandomUser
Post #591627
Member

7:07 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 181


My life is similar. I'm as antisocial as they come, and I have zero social life. I graduated High School in '11 and since then I've just been living at home playing video games all day and reading manga all night. The last time I left the house was two weeks ago to get a haircut, and the time before that was MONTHS ago. In High School I had a couple friends, but I rarely hung out with them after school, and now I have no contact with them. I have no dreams in life or any goals. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life or when I'll start doing it. I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. I want to change, but sadly I'm to lazy to. And other then being a virgin, I don't really mind the rest. lol I'm sad. eyes

rexytheking
Post #591633
user avatar
Member

8:10 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 162


Wow randomuser, i know that feeling. Where your social life is down in the dumps and virtually nonexistent. I'm surprised you're able to stay at home so long...do you live in a college dorm? Or an apartment? Wat about food? A job? You have to do something! - says the person with zero social life.
Btw, being a virgin at twenty is nothing to be ashamed of. And don't be sad. That is why these forums exist, so that people like us can meet and maybe somehow get out of such a horrible social life? Ehh, if you haven't noticed I'm not exactly fit to be telling people how to live their social lives...but i'm kinda glad there are others out there! Thanks for sharing!

RandomUser
Post #591640
Member

9:37 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 181


I live with my mom, she pays for everything. And either her or my older sister do the shopping.

Mamsmilk
Post #591641
user avatar
 Member

9:37 am, Mar 20 2013
Posts: 7704


There are no saviors.
No one will come for you if you just sit in hiding.
It's easy to embrace apathy and dwell on it, but it will stay forever by those means. Changing is hard and won't come with 5 bucks in 15 minutes, but it has to happen if you want to get out of the limbo. You need some luck too, but you can compensate for that with trying harder. Just like lonely people in bars seeking the warmth of strangers, eventually it might pay off. It sadly doesn't always, but you can't give up trying. There's often a reason why things happen or don't happen. Very complex or very simple.
I can see where you are coming from. I have some friends, but I am really bad at keeping a firm grip on something. I barely keep in contact physically, which is pretty important as although I would have been fine the way things were for some time, even if they lacked anything you could tell to people after years, but people will move on, things change and phases come to an end. It is impossible to just stay and stand still forever, as even if you have no desire to change, things will change, just like everything in the world does. I am utterly used to relinquishing things close to me and it is hard to force a feeling of trust in the steadiness of something. I've fucked up plenty of times and I am constantly under pressure so great, that if I were even a bit weaker, I would already be dead. I often feel alienated and like I were cheating myself by doing things I feel uncomfortable and constrained doing, but all those things must be done if you don't know what you are doing to begin with. You're very powerless. There is no magic. Your desires don't come true by praying or by miracles. You have to do it yourself as people who want to save you from your ways and not just blame you are scarce, probably 1% of the whole population and even less will somehow just appear in your life out of nowhere. It can happen, but it really won't for the majority.

I am serious even if my avatar set looks like this.

Last edited by Mamsmilk at 9:45 am, Mar 20

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rexytheking
Post #591727
user avatar
Member

1:05 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 162


I guess I'm just a little too optimistic? I see no point in getting friends while i'm still young, since everyone will leave in the end. So why not just wait until you a full fledged adult until you get lasting friends? I just see the next stage in life and hope it will work out then since my current stage doesnt work.
That "luck" doesn't exist in everyone. Besides I'm not "trying". Trying hasn't worked for me and I don't see a point of doing so, which is why instead of trying to get back from behind, I just start out amazing in the next stage in life(college). Of course as optimistic as this sounds, it probably won't happen.
I can't work with people as I'm the most cynical person ever. I can pinpoint a fault from a mile away and free myself from blame. Even when an emotional speech is given, I can still find that one thing that annoys me, whether it's the speaker's desire for attention, their exaggerations, their true attitude, etc.
It affects all of us, actually not really. If it did affect all of us, this world would SUCK. But i see where you are coming from. The thing is I can't keep a thought for more than a day. I say that from now on i will not talk to anyone and get a 5.0 gpa and the next day i just forget about it or am too lazy to carry out that action. Or i say that i will befriend everyone so that i won't be lonely and the next day i ignore people that say hi to me.
I know that one person doesn't exist but I'm an optimist after all. One can only hope. Yes I'm also a contradiction. I'm a crazy cynic and a naive optimist. These two don't exactly go well together.
And your avatar is fine. Mine isn't exactly suited for talking about this stuff either. Haha.

Mizu_Chan
Post #591729
user avatar
Member

1:37 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 20


im not expert on socializing or how to make friends, but im pretty sure that you can get a pretty good friend by just saying hi. if you're feeling lonely, just talk to someone in your school. compliment someone's shoes or something. i find complimenting people to be a great conversation starter. it's not that hard. and saying everyone will "leave in the end" is stupid. if they leave, you go and make another friend.
also you can be my friend smile wink grin

Lelouch22
Post #591730
Member

1:58 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 21


I think that Mamsmilk is right. I recommend doing stuff you like that are done in group, example: I meet people through japanese class,kendo, baseball, cosplay and Go. Some you will get along with, most will go away, but if you read manga you know the every shonen have line: You don't know before you try and i think that is true, i once moved to neederlands just because my girlfriend was leaving to do college there, it didn't work between us, and a lost a lot of time but i don't regret it at all. But i notice two things on my experience, you have to remember they are as bad as you, never think badly of yourself or you are too low for someone, and when you wanna see someone , don't stay away, tell them, go out with them.

Skreamez
Post #591734 - Reply to (#591727) by rexytheking
user avatar
Member

2:16 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 26


Quote from rexytheking
I guess I'm just a little too optimistic? I see no point in getting friends while i'm still young, since everyone will leave in the end. So why not just wait until you a full fledged adult until you get lasting friends? I just see the next stage in life and hope it will work out then since my curren ...


You might call looking for that result in the end as optimistic but it just sounds like a pretty pessimistic take on life in general. I mean if you are finding excuses now, it will just follow onto later when you reach that point in adulthood. "I survived this long without friends...", "I guess I'm just not that type of person", etc. Making friends is cooperation, and having nothing to do with it now may be a huge detriment to the process later on. This is just my personal opinion but it seems to me when you say you are just looking for people who have the same ideas or lifestyle, it's just another way of saying you're possibly lonely or looking to justify something.

If you don't want change, then that's that, but you don't necessarily have to really get into all the drama you were associating with relationships just to socialize either. People go to the bar all the time for the very reason that you might not see those people ever again, but you can still pass the time. There's plenty of similar concepts like this if you don't like bars or parties too. I mean this is probably one of the main appeals to online games. Let's say you want to stick to the main topic of "friends" though. All I have to say about that is it's not about the current value they have to you at the end of your life. How you can use them or whatever, that's not it. It's about heightening the value of each day to bring you to the next. You won't have the same set of friends for life, but having friends gives you more opportunity to deepen your own personality and experience things that you just wouldn't be provided with on your own. I've had friends that I separated with, and not on the best conditions, but without those times I would not have found many of my interests that are a big part of my life today.

Trying to envision people to be exactly the way you want them, having all these things work out in the end, and making excuses for why they haven't worked out yet all adds up to you choosing not to put in any effort. I don't want to be harsh, but I was like this; I was and still am lazy and something so simple lead to me having to sacrifice around 2 years consisting of miserable and hard living just to get back to a point that I should have had many years before. You don't get any time you lose back, and waiting for change will extend to the rest of your life when it all depends on you in the first place.


Teika
Post #591739
Thinking...
Member

3:17 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 8


Well, I'm currently attending college for a 2nd semester (which I more or less lost all motivation for when I realized my future probably = a 40+ hour week mind-numbing, slave-paying "career" that anyone can do) and am 90% dependent on a parent who keeps telling me that if I don't get a degree I'm simply going to fail at real life. And all I want is to be able to watch anime/read manga/play games in piece...

Anyway, are you passionate about manga (aside from relying on it as a coping mechanism)? Why not try to run with that?

rexytheking
Post #591759 - Reply to (#591729) by Mizu_Chan
user avatar
Member

6:15 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 162


Quote from Mizu_Chan
im not expert on socializing or how to make friends, but im pretty sure that you can get a pretty good friend by just saying hi. if you're feeling lonely, just talk to someone in your school. compliment someone's shoes or something. i find complimenting people to be a great conversation starter. it' ...


I got that part. Let me get this straight first of all. Making friends is easy, one of the simplest things in the world imo. Keeping them and maintaining a good relationship with them is the hard part. I've gone from "first meeting" to "iffy friend status" to " close friend" to "guy you tell all your secrets to" to "piss off I don't know you" all within the span of two months.

Also I am a pessimistic guy hoping for the best in a bad situation. I think that's the best way to put it? Skreamez, i'm really impressed(almost jealous) of how much trust you can put into your friends. Whereas you sound like you enjoy and do not regret the times spent with friends that have defected, I curse my meetings with them and wish the meeting never took place in the first place. It's how I have lived my whole life and I really had no one to tell me otherwise. Waiting has always been the best option for me. Trying to find that lasting friend doesn't always work. I've looked for him/her for maybe ten years now and after multiple betrayals due to "boyfriends>me", racism(yea that's right racism), and other drama, I kind of gave up on finding him/her. I just thought it wasn't worth the pain. Since I have never felt how good it might be to have that best friend, or someone to talk to, I don't have the courage or determinatioon to continue risking my happiness to find that person.

Thus I "confide" to manga and anime. Again, though this is kind of a way to escape society, I really love manga and anime with a passion. However, people in real life that also enjoy manga/anime as much as I do have already joined their respective cliques and I have too many unorthodox opinions to join in. Thus, an open forum, where others may or may not have experienced the same feelings might be better than the fake masks of real life.

RandomUser
Post #591760
Member

6:20 am, Mar 21 2013
Posts: 181


I'm to shy and self conscious to approach people or hold a conversation with someone. And I don't know what I have to be shy or self conscious of.

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