Hypersensitivity - After watching this video called Hypersensitivity it made me think - Is everyone overly sensitive about things? Keeping that thought in mind I already had a two incidents where I could have reacted badly because I was being to overly sensitive to the subject. There's also this music video I recently saw where they said the artist is being racist to Japan's culture. I ended up thinking "... What? How on earth did you think that was racist?"
It's gotten to the point where I'm starting to wonder if anyone can not quickly jump to "that's offensive!"
or can take a joke.


Do you think everyone is becoming too overly sensitive?
Are you included with the bunch?
What are things that lead you to this conclusion?

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#1 The guy who made the video comes across (to me, at least) as a complete jerk, the type of person who would say something blatantly offensive and then when someone gets upset come back with, "oh, you just can't take a joke!"

#2 This is clearly a huge grey area. Some people are overly sensitive to certain things...and some people are completely insensitive about what they say/do.

I generally try to be on the overly-sensitive side as far as the words coming out of my mouth, and the less-sensitive side for words coming in my ears/eyes.

I do think that it's VERY important to think about how the words we say may affect others, esp. others who are already vulnerable. For example, a closeted gay teen could really be hurt by hearing "gay" used to mean "lame" even if the words aren't directed at him/her at all, and aren't really "meant" to have anything to do with homosexuality. There are plenty of other words without the potential double meaning, just use them instead - problem solved.

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"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

Heh, well A Dose of Buckley is "Angry Humor from an angry man" so the fact that he came off as a jerk is about right. (You definitely wouldn't like his other videos). But the point of that video (done in a rude funny way) was how people thought a picture was offensive and took it as a man beating up a woman. Instead of the how it was a play on 'he won the debate (a verbal fight)'


I see. I guess in the insensitive group a majority of the time ... Huh didn't notice this topic has two sides to it.



TofuQueen I think you're a very kind person (based on reading you're previous posts), and would rather think about the word you use carefully than just blurt it out. Which is great, but for me I feel that's restrictive and you're always walking on eggshells. (But really it's great that you'd rather think than regret hurting someone's feelings later)
- I come off as insensitive at times because I would rather express my raw feelings, and thoughts. If I hurt someone, I hope they are open enough to talk to me about it. Then I would explain it meant, and say sorry they felt otherwise. ( You know the whole communicating, being open, and experiencing things.) I know I have came off this way one or twice already in the forums ... and my next comment will probably come off that way too.

As for the "gay" term used as lame, and someone getting hurt by it. I thought (Well first these commercials that were "you know what you're saying? knock it off!" over using the term gay for dumb or lame) wow really? An in closeted gay teen feeling hurt over the term gay used as lame? What a pansy.
I'm a firm believer of words can't hurt you (stick and stones), words only have a powerful meaning if you give it to them ( this mainly applies to curse words are "bad"). Right now I'm wondering how many have already jumped to "you're a homophobe!" or "you don't like gay people!" or maybe just that comment was offensive. Which, yes taken just like that I can see your point.
What I mean with 'what a pansy' is a weak person who let a word hurt him. It wasn't directed at him, and he knew what was meant. He gave that word power, and I hope he would have been strong enough to not let it affect him. I generally like to think everyone is a strong person (or improves themselves to get stronger). So yes, What a pansy (weak cowardly person, not the other meanings).
Was this me being insensitive or you being overly sensitive ..... (probably a combo of both in this case. Note I'm using you as a general term for others, not specifically you TofuQueen.)

Although your point was use think and use a substitute that won't hurt anyone. That just makes me think geez quit being too sensitive and get over it. It's just a word, they had no ill intent to begin with, stop taking it that way. Thus everyone is hypersensitive ...



-Sidenote: TofuQueen I hope you didn't think I was trying to disrespect you in any way. (and if I did) the only directed comments to you were only good things. I like your perspective on matters, and hope you see this as more friendly row. (expression of thoughts? discussion? )

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Cool Vid,
Urrrr, heyy, can you please put a link to that MV ^^

Thnx

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I'm not sure why I like this song, but I do. I saw the video, and later found out that people find it racist. That wasn't my initial thought, and it's still not even after finding out what the artist was trying to convey.
Actually this video was the final reason why I made this thread. (It's been in my head for a while).


Heh, maybe I should have linked it in the OP, but I already felt like it was getting too long for an OP.

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Yes people are too sensitive, but also there's a lot of rude and racist people still in the world. So I dunno, it's kinda a pick and choose your battles type of thing.

What is 'too sensitive', does 'too' mean wrong?

Let's say someone feels something, they only really have two choices - repress it and deny it, or let it come out. Usually it comes out as a bang.

How much is everyone meant to deny their feelings, and how much are they meant to show their true feelings?

J

Everyone is fine to show their feelings, but it should be in a way that doesn't surpress or shame others. Instead of "THATS RACIST!" it should be like "Hey, I find that offensive" and then probably give reasons if you feel like it.

Nice, cool MV

Urrrrr, how is she being a Racist again?

Uhm, best I've got even tho I paid close attention was,
"Mina Psycho"
What O_o
You guys are psycho?

Lmao

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Most people have a stick up their bottom and need to take copious amounts of chill-pills. Letting things get to you is often associated with fear and weakness of mind. And for good reason.

I do believe that some people are overly sensitive, especially about religious issues (like, rioting and violence because some foreign media outlet shows an image of one of your religious figures, or protesting outside stores that use the term 'holiday tree' instead of 'Christmas tree'. That being said, I don't see anything wrong with sensitivity as long as it's not expressed in a harmful way. If we all let everything pass, social reform would happen at a much slower rate.

Roughly translated...in Japanese "minna" = "all of you/everyone" and "saiko" = "the best/the greatest" so it's basically "You're all the greatest!"

kitty1826x, for most people, words DO have huge power to hurt. Ask anyone who's been a victim of verbal abuse. If you are able to simply shrug off anything and everything negative you hear...I'm not sure whether that's great or not, but I guess it works for you.

Some people are especially vulnerable, for example younger people in tough situations who may not have grown a protective "shell" yet. They may be hearing negative & hurtful things from all sides - the last thing they need is to overhear yet another negative, EVEN THOUGH it may not be intentionally directed at them in any way.

Maybe it's because of all the things I've overheard over the years - I tend to be VERY conscious that, when I'm in a public place, people other than the person I'm talking to ARE hearing my words and may be hurt by them. (I personally haven't been hurt by what I've overheard. I have sometimes heard people talking about, for example, a particular race/nationality in a very negative way and thought "wow, if I was that race/nationality, it could be really hurtful to overhear that...")

Yes. Using appropriate words does require some thought, sometimes, and also (possibly) breaking some habits, and occasionally some self-censorship. For me it's worth it, because I do not want to add hurt to someone's day when I can get my point across just as well using slightly different words (I have yet to find anything that HAD to be said with hurtful words, unless the intent IS to HURT).

For myself - I try to keep things in perspective and not get all upset about stuff, but that doesn't mean I can't understand others getting upset, and respect their feelings. When my older boys got in the habit of using "gay" to mean "lame" I talked with them about it and they agreed to stop - it was just a thoughtless habit they'd picked up at school. If I hear offensive/thoughtless/whatever stuff from someone I know, I will talk to them about it in a friendly way.

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"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

Buckley>>>>>>

I love his videos and I 100% agree with him.

Theres a difference between being sensitive for a reason and being sensitive for the sake of being sensitive.

(I agree with what you said about the Avril Lavigine video, I have no idea how it's racist..)

With victims of verbal abuses, isn't it that they gave the abuser that power to hurt them?
That once they finally became strong enough all the negative things the verbal abuser says won't effect them anymore? It is something they had to do themselves, but isn't it a matter of them taking away the power of those words?
Yes, when someone you care about says something mean to you it hurts. Words can have a negative, and positive effect on you, but it all depends on how you let. It's easier to not care about some offensive talk said either to you, or others. Why let it get you down, when it's coming from someone you're not close to. It's it better to shrug it off as "That person doesn't know better" or "Maybe they didn't realize what they are say can be hurtful" (or something along those lines. If it's coming from someone you care about express to them how it hurt you. Maybe it was just you being too sensitive because they didn't mean it that way. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that person had ill intent. Ask what they meant first, and tell them how it was misinterpreted. (In a sense like how you taught your boys that saying gay in that wrong can be offensive/hurtful)
If that person did have ill intent ... Will if it's not someone you know, why care? Although I generally like to think everyone is a good person. Everyone has flaws. If it is someone you care about that said something with ill intent. Find out why.

I guess my point is you shouldn't dwell on negative words said, and don't jump to conclusions that what was said was in the worst way possible. (Laugh it off, or don't care)



Like I said it's great that your cautious, and think before you say anything to prevent hurting others. I think that makes you very kind.
I however, don't like sugar coating, or censoring myself. By doing this I feel I like others know I am very open to them, and that I'm sharing my raw honest feelings. ( I hope they also do this in return from seeing my example.)
Since I'm like that I think I'm perceived as insensitive. When most of the time I just think geez you all are jumping the gun, and getting defensive other nothing.


I do get too sensitive, and need to pause to fully comprehend the situation.
Ex. There's a thread in the forums. In the 18+ section.


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Well this is mostly a reply to your post kitty1826x, but it also pretty much sums up my view on the matter.

I can't really agree with the 'words cant hurt you' attitude - that seems pretty much spoken from a perspective of someone who has been leading a comfortable and relatively carefree life. Not everyone has had that luxury. Same for people who complain that others being offended at 'mere words' is restrictive and they dislike the fact they need to watch what they say; or rather, they can say what they want but there would be consequences.

There are topics where words can hurt. E.g. rape jokes or jokes about pedophilia - anyone can be a rape survivor or a victim of sexual abuse. Hearing a joke that makes light of their experiences can be extremely hurtful and detrimental to their mental health. And it's not easy for people to come out as a rape survivor (especially when many are still blamed for it) so most of the times theyre forced to sit quiet and endure their discomfort. I dont think anyone has the right to tell such people to 'take a joke' or 'shrug it off and dont let it get you down', 'laugh it off' or, worst of all, 'youre giving the abuser the power to abuse you by being hurt by words' (victim-blaming at its finest).

Same with homosexuality/bisexuality jokes; not everyone is secure in their sexuality. Not everyone has the luxury to shrug it off. I can personally attest that when I was 12, just hearing my friends discuss how wrong and disgusting Kate Perry's 'I kissed a girl' video was, was probably the source of self-hatred and shame for the following years. It took me ages to be able to openly admit to myself and to others about my sexuality. Sure, they didnt mean it sure they were careless, sure they were taught to speak this way by careless adults, but I was a 12-year old who didnt know any better and who wasnt told any better (and everyone calling eahc other fag like it was the worst insult also wasnt helping). Sure its easy to laugh it off and not care when youre confident about yourself but when youre a confused teenager who only hears the negative side and no positive ones, its way harder. It doesnt make a difference to me they didnt mean it, they didnt know any better. And, hearing what other people go through just because 'people dont mean it' really makes me think I was extremely lucky still.

Having said that, I definitely do think there are many cases when people are overly sensitive. They jump and call you worst names for the smallest things, and they even seem to look for excuses to be even more offended. There are definitely cases of hypersensitivity - but at the same time, there are certain topics and issues where you cant be hypersensitive about because, simply said, those topics should be treated with nothing less than caution.