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New Poll - Family vs Friends
This week's poll was suggested by psirit. Is blood is thicker than water? Or maybe because you can choose your friends and not family, thus friends are better?

You can submit poll ideas here
http://www.mangaupdates.com/showtopic.php?tid=3903

Previous Poll Results
Question: How close are you to your dream job?
Choices:
No job, so still dreaming - votes: 1119 (33.8%)
Light years away - votes: 692 (20.9%)
Quite far - votes: 565 (17.1%)
Halfway there - votes: 331 (10%)
Getting close - votes: 308 (9.3%)
I'm living the dream - votes: 175 (5.3%)
I made it and then lost it - votes: 44 (1.3%)
Retired already - votes: 79 (2.4%)
There were 3313 total votes.
The poll ended: February 27th 2021

Now of those without a job, is that because you're a student or unemployed?
Posted by lambchopsil on 
February 27th 6:20pm
Comments ( 29 )  
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Comments

» mallika23 on February 27th, 2021, 11:55am

Currently I'm living far from my family, more than 560km from my hometown. I have my friends here, and they're important as part of my support system now. But I always missed my mom's home cooking, playing games with my older brother, or eating out with my dad.

This question is a bit hard, but I think I'll still choose my family. They don't always understand me and we sometimes fight, but they're always there when I didn't have anyone to rely on.

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» calstine on February 28th, 2021, 7:04am

I mean, this is obviously gonna be extremely subjective based on each person's experiences (lots of horrible families out there, I know), but for me it will always be family.

Not because "Blood is thicker than water" or some BS philosophy made by society to belittle any relationship that isn't founded on the basis of marriage/a couple in a romantic and sexual relationship + their children, but because my family (immediate family, at least) are genuinely good people who love me - even though they get on my nerves 50% of the time - while my so-called "friends" are opportunistic back-stabbing jealous a-holes I keep around only because society would brand me a freak if I didn't have any friends 🙄

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» zarlan on February 28th, 2021, 10:01pm

Quote from calstine
while my so-called "friends" are opportunistic back-stabbing jealous a-holes I keep around only because society would brand me a freak if I didn't have any friends 🙄


That makes absolutely no sense, of any kind.
Why spend time with people you despise, and who have no regard for you?
Why be so concerned about being branded a freak? …and how would that be worse, than having to be with your "friends".
(who, BTW, are not friends. They are merely people you pretend, to society, are your friends. Actual friends, are people you genuinely like and like to be with and whom you care about, and who feel the same about/towards you)

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» residentgrigo on February 28th, 2021, 11:06am

Friends.

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» Shippou_Incognito on February 28th, 2021, 2:25pm

These poll numbers show me that there's still hope for this world.

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» Transdude1996 on February 28th, 2021, 2:57pm

Family

Going by everything that I've seen and heard, you're only going to have two (Possibly three) real friends in your life, one of which you'll be married to; then you have the handful of people you can confide in, relate to, work with, and/or respect, but they're not people who you'd consider to be in close relations to in all circumstance; and everyone else outside of those two circles are just people who you can only tolerate for a certain amount of time, and need to eject once that time limit has been reached. Meanwhile, in comparison to family, I have heard nothing but regret from people who didn't attempt to at least have some regular communication with their family members (Despite whatever issue they had in the past).

Quote from calstine
while my so-called "friends" are opportunistic back-stabbing jealous a-holes I keep around only because society would brand me a freak if I didn't have any friends 🙄

Excuse me for my ignorance (Because I don't know the circumstances surrounding your life), but if they're that manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic, poisonous, and harmful, why not try to make friends elsewhere or make an attempt to leave that environment altogether?

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» zarlan on February 28th, 2021, 9:55pm

Obviously friends
You choose your friends.
Your family is forced on you …forced, in that it's forced that they are family. Not in that you have to actually have anything to do with them. (after you become an adult)

…and also, there is a problem in the question, in that it regards the two categories as mutually exclusive.
They most certainly are not.

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» achyif on February 28th, 2021, 10:15pm

family can fuck you over.... but so can friends. They both can be very good to you too.

How could I decide? They both take very important but different roles in my life! One cannot fully replace the other.

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» Jooles on February 28th, 2021, 10:18pm

Family.

But only in the context that that can mean whatever. For me, it's my actual blood-relations. For many other people, a la the average sitcom, it's their friends. Or both. Or their (MC/) gang. Or their football team.

But the answer is always family. If you choose to look at the word through my lens.

This poll is shit, damnit. Polls need more nuance.

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» dreamer00013 on March 1st, 2021, 4:43am

Family. Family's there, always, even if you had a seriously bad quarrel. The socalled best friend? Can turn out to be a very self-centered bitch who turns your back on you after helping her through a seriously bad phase of her life, for pretty much no reason at all, when you could have really, really needed her, when it's your turn to need help to get through a bad phase.
Not bitter at all. #familyforever #loveuSis

To be a tad bit more objective - it depends on your family. Mine is not perfect, but we hold together. If someone needs help, we help each other. That's what's important, be it family or friends.

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» zarlan on March 3rd, 2021, 1:45am

Quote from dreamer00013
Family. Family's there, always, even if you had a seriously bad quarrel.

No.
Your family is. Not everyone's.
Quote
The socalled best friend? Can turn out to be a very self-centered bitch

Then they were never really your friends, in the first place.

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» dreamer00013 on March 4th, 2021, 4:21am

Obviously that's my family, not everyone's families xD whole poll is super subjective.

And that's the thing: in the end, you'll value those more who stand by you in bad times. I figured my friends would, and was disappointed. My family was there and will continue to be there.

And I'd like to believe that said friend didn't used to be that shitty, but people do change and go through phases. You can only act upon it and watch where it goes, I believe. Either way, she was a very precious friend once that used to actually be a friend.

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» Sugarshark on March 1st, 2021, 8:49am

best friends are worth their weight in gold

my kids are terrible people and I love them for it; they're just like me

everyone else can go pound rocks

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» hkanz on March 1st, 2021, 10:53am

My rankings:

1. Close family (parents, sister)
2. Friends
3. Most strangers
4. People who use the weather for small talk
5. Men who hover outside lingerie stores in malls and you're never certain whether they're being pervy or waiting for someone
6. Extended family
7. Social media influencers
8. People who let their guard dogs run unleashed onto public roads

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» HikaruYami on March 1st, 2021, 11:30am

I'm personally disgusted by the results of the poll, but then you have people like Jooles here who just choose to interpret it in a completely different way for seemingly no reason at all.

I love my immediate family. They're some of the actual best human beings I know. But that makes me also consider them my friends, which is why I spend time with them, talk to them, etc.

If my family were toxic, I'd cut them the fuck out. And they know that. I have no time for bullshit, especially nazi bullshit. So many people I see tolerate absolutely garbage parents into their 40s for no other reason than they feel some kind of obligation to them "because family". It's so backwards and gross to me. But if you were to use Jooles' nonsense interpretation of the world, those people would just no longer "be family", even though this poll is *obviously* referring to blood relatives when it says "family".

Anyway, in case people didn't figure it out, I chose Friends, of which my immediate blood relatives happen to be some of my closest as well.

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» zarlan on March 3rd, 2021, 1:56am

Quote from HikaruYami
So many people I see tolerate absolutely garbage parents into their 40s for no other reason than they feel some kind of obligation to them "because family". It's so backwards and gross to me.

Indeed.
Parents have an absolute obligation towards their kids. They brought them into the world. They have the responsibility to keep them safe, and guide them towards becoming proper healthy (incl mentally) independent adults. A responsibility that they have, until such a time that the kids have reached that goal.
They have no rights, to decide what friends, hobbies, likes, Significant Other, or desires the kids must have or not have (with a few exception: They should discourage them from being friends with nazis, or joining a cult or the mafia, and the like)
I am especially sickened by people who talk as if, or in some instances explicitly state, that the kids are owned by the parents. Owning another human being, is slavery.

The kids have no responsibility, "debt", or gratitude, owed towards their parents, for being born. They had no say in being born, and never asked for it. (not that they don't like being alive, but that's beside the point) The parents decided to have a kid …or were careless. Either way, it's their own decision, for themselves.
As for any responsibility/"debt"/gratitude owed, for having been taken care of:
That is the absolute minimum required responsibility of the parents. You don't get a prize, for not being horrible and irresponsible.

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» Transdude1996 on March 3rd, 2021, 10:12am

This:
Quote from zarlan
They have no rights, to decide what friends, hobbies, likes, Significant Other, or desires the kids must have or not have


Directly contradicts this:
Quote from zarlan
Parents have an absolute obligation towards their kids. They brought them into the world. They have the responsibility to keep them safe, and guide them towards becoming proper healthy (incl mentally) independent adults. A responsibility that they have, until such a time that the kids have reached that goal.

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» Yask on March 3rd, 2021, 3:37pm

Damn that’s the biggest contradiction I’ve seen in my life

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» zarlan on March 4th, 2021, 10:49am

Quote from Yask
Damn that’s the biggest contradiction I’ve seen in my life

How/where is there any hint of a contradiction, in that, whatsoever?

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» Transdude1996 on March 4th, 2021, 1:00pm

You declared that the parents have the absolute authority and responsibility towards raising and nurturing their offspring in the best manner they deem acceptable, from birth to adulthood, due to the both of the (Assumingely mature) parents consenting to have sex (Which is how procreation occurs). Then, you declare that parents should not have the authority, nor the responsibility, over how their offspring are raised when it comes to their associations, pastimes, goals, and desires.

This presents the paradox: how can a parent be authoritative, responsible, nurturing, and raise their offspring if they cannot dictate or judge who their child interacts with, what activities their child can participate in, and what opportunities their child sees accessible and possible to pursue?

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» Jooles on March 3rd, 2021, 9:15am

I didn't vote and I don't disagree with your post. You just FRAMED IT DIFFERENTLY. The "Jooles" in your post has nothing to do with what I wrote; it's solely comprised of your inner demons. That mentality and anger of yours is fucking scary.

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» energizerbunny on March 1st, 2021, 3:13pm

It's so interesting to see how everyone else is interpreting the poll, since the different results we're getting are a result of different ways people define their own categories of "friends" and "family".

I agree with HikaruYami. You can have family who are also your friends and conversely, you can have family who are lame and not friends. Thinking about a worst-case scenario, I would also not care to spend time or effort for "family" who may just want to take advantage of me or waste my time being toxic. If my friends were no longer friends for any reason, they would no longer be a part of my life, and I don't see how that's different when considering someone you happen to share blood with. For someone to remain a friend, regardless if they're blood-related to you or not, that is the basis on which I would value them.

I'm guessing some people just think it's bizarre to consider a dad or a mom also a "friend", so they draw a clear divide there, but still feel the need to give weight to the affection they consider for these close individuals. Personally, I just think generally of the term "friends" and don't feel to withhold that title from my family, either.

EDIT: Oh. I didn't expect to see comments about 'fake friends'. I personally don't tolerate those. I would just consider those people "acquaintances." I wouldn't consider fake friends a variable at all with this poll.

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» Aremon on March 1st, 2021, 3:51pm

Poll made me think of this...How Many Friends Do You Have? from QI series H...

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» toshirodragon on March 1st, 2021, 4:58pm

I don't know about you all but my friends ARE my family. Genetics have no bearing on who I consider family.

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» Joese on March 6th, 2021, 4:00am

Dam ,after reading this I totally agree with family. 🙂

But It's true this poll is too reliant on our interpretation of family and friends.

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» redlinks on March 5th, 2021, 2:48pm

I think it honestly depends on the person. I can't choose either one because both are important to me. I have friends who I consider family and I have friends who I consider are just friends but are definitely important to me. I'm just gonna say both.

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» Quinatsu on March 6th, 2021, 5:37am

Myself.

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» licorice on March 6th, 2021, 8:01am

Good friends are family.

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