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Ano Hi no Kimi wo Dakishimeta nara  
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From Bliss:

Ever since Hidetoshi told his best friend Kengo that he was gay at graduation, and Kengo responded with "we'll always be friends no matter what,” Hidetoshi was determined to keep things that way. Though Kengo realized that Hidetoshi probably wanted to confess to him, he keeps his mouth shut in fear of ruining their relationship. But when Hidetoshi gets involved with an abusive boyfriend, Kengo feels that he can no longer just sit back and watch…


Related Series

Associated Names
If Only I Held You That Day...
Zawrócić Czas (Polish)

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Latest Release(s)
v.2 c.12 (end) by Bliss over 11 years ago
v.2 c.11 by Bliss over 11 years ago
v.2 c.10 by Bliss over 11 years ago
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in Country of Origin
2 Volumes (Complete)

Completely Scanlated?

Anime Start/End Chapter

User Reviews


User Rating
Average: 8.1 / 10.0 (607 votes)
Bayesian Average: 8.02 / 10.0

Last Updated
June 18th 2020, 6:35pm PST



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Serialized In (magazine)
Rutile (Gentosha)

Licensed (in English)

English Publisher

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User Comments  [ Order by usefulness ]
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by mangafan321
April 23rd, 2016, 4:04pm
Rating: 3.0 / 10.0
the main character finds out his ex is being abused, and say this about the situation.
"he may have hit her but it wasnt so hard"
he goes on to explain its her fault for causing misunderstandings. if her husband had divorced her for flirting with other men. or because she went on a date with someone else, which she did do, then i would agree with him. she was wrong for doing that. but even if she did cheat, there is NO EXCUSE to hit someone. whether you are a man or woman, there is never a reason to do that.

Kengo said it was a despicable thing to do, but still kept making excuses for the husband. it was really sad to read. especially since his bf used to be in an abusive relationship. he says he only feels bad for his BF, because his BF was always honest with his partner.
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by hotarusasaki
October 2nd, 2014, 11:10am
Rating: N/A
I feel like with the way it was told and the random flashbacks made it more confusing and I felt like I didn't get the full potential of this plot/set up. There is a oot of room for improvement, but if it was less confusing and occasionally Out Of Character, I would have liked it a lot more. But it is still above average (5) so I'm giving it a 7.
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by Akako
June 14th, 2014, 2:54am
Rating: N/A
People accepting abuse is a real mystery. I have someone in my family who has this kind of problems for more that 25 years and a lot of drama happened, but at the end of the day she will go back to him, disregarding her family's opposition and support. Of course, these things are sad, but unfortunately outsiders can't do much if the victim is not willing to cooperate. I think Kengo did the right thing advising his ex to go home and talk things with her husband, because she first has to decide what's there to be done and nobody else can do that for her.

Anyway, even if I can agree with Kengo on this particular matter, he did treat her badly when they were together, the narration of their relationship really annoyed me. Somehow, I managed to ignore his coldness until the last pages; I know it is not unusual for Japanese to visit their parents one or twice a year, yet not visiting for 8 years (considering he started university 2 years later than Hidetoshi) for an unreasonable (in my opinion) reason is just too much. In that moment I got fed up with his behavior. OK, love is selfish and I felt that the author tried to create this image of him being more human only for/with Hidetoshi, but I can only think he's nothing more than a heartless bastard.

Besides this, I think everything was a little chaotic and tended to not make sense at times. For example, how Hidetoshi would go to Kengo's place all beaten up even if he actually wanted to avoid him. I can't relate to the story or the characters at all, the only character I liked was Mio, Kengo's co-worker.
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by aominedaiki
December 21st, 2013, 6:33pm
Rating: 1.0 / 10.0
Okay. I felt this was okay, there were parts of it that just made me go What the hell? (i.e. when Kengo forced sex on Hidetoshi, because hello he did not give verbal consent) but otherwise, I thought it was a decent read. Until, of course, Kengo's interactions with his ex-girlfriend. He's a bloody victim blamer. His ex-girlfriend had no intent of cheating, and her husband is a possessive, jealous twat that abuses her because she's kind to other people. That's not sending out mixed signals oh my god. Just because someone is kind or nice to you, it doesn't mean they're bloody flirting with you. Honestly. That's a clear indication of a toxic relationship right there, because if your partner gets so jealous you can't even have friends of the opposite gender, really, the best thing to do is to get out of it. And what does Kengo do? HE TELLS HER TO GO BACK TO HIM. Even after she has told them how depressed she feels, and how she's only staying in the relationship because she's afraid it might kill him if she leaves. That's a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. Kengo made it out to be her fault for her husband hitting her.

And oh my god I'm so annoyed. Like, how is it ever the victim's fault the other person decides to lay their hands on them? Whether it's abuse, or rape, IT'S NEVER THE VICTIM'S FAULT. No matter how the other person acts, or dresses, because the attacker is the one who has chosen to carry out these acts.

And the comment below also, yeah there are people who are into sadomasochism, where it's consensual on both (or more) ends, but manipulation, abusing, making your partner feel worthless to the point they think they deserve it, no that's not freaking right. Are you listening to yourself? That's as much of a psychological phenomenon as Stockholm Syndrome is. You're encouraging emotional abuse, and rape culture. You're putting it onto the victim. Like ricecake24 said, this kind of thing influences peoples' way of thinking. They allow for people to think that it's okay to abuse your partner if they're supposedly leading other people on, it's creating potential abusers and rapists.

And I think this is the problem in our society, this sort of stuff is romanticised, and is so overlooked, become a norm, which is why I feel so many people think this is a 'beautiful' or 'lovely' story.

... Last updated on December 23rd, 2013, 1:43am
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irritating main characters  
by tekiteki
July 17th, 2013, 3:25pm
Rating: 7.5 / 10.0
The art is fine and the story&dialogs are neat. But both main characters were not my type and maybe that's why i found this manga rather dull ^-^;

P.S. "domestic violence this", "domestic violence that" ^^; You guys talk like if you have attended the same psychology course :-). There are many people young and old who are asking for violence with their nasty and irritating attitude. And they do it deliberately, being fond of initiating conflicts and, who knows, maybe even receiving 'punishment'. There are different people and morals, one never knows, what is better for another person. I don't understand those who like dangerous extreme sports, as well as I don't understand Hidetoshi, who wants to keep in touch with his violent partner, and I don't understand Kengo who is attached to Hidetoshi nevertheless. But i know, there are such people, i had friends like Hidetoshi, and they were pretty happy with their rude partners г_г;;. Not that i comprehend it
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Actually, To be honest...  
by Aki x Tomoharu
June 18th, 2013, 5:38pm
Rating: 10.0 / 10.0
I think this 10 vote might be too generous, but I LOVE YAMAMOTO KOTETSUKO TTwTT I know the story itself isn't written by her, but still, the art is so cute =w=... Let's see... It's definitely not as hilariously cute as Yamamoto's work, but it still has a nice vibe to it smile
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by ricecake24
April 5th, 2013, 5:31am
Rating: 3.0 / 10.0
i tried to like this, but i didn't really enjoy it (be aware this is really long)

the domestic violence stuff that happened upset me, not because it happened, but because hidetoshi was so apologetic about the abuse happening to him. like he seriously thought it was his fault, which was fine at first because that's how victims usually feel and one of many reasons why they stay in abusive relationships. however waaaay after he had broken up with his abusive boyfriend, he was still saying it was his fault and that he deserved it because he was in love with kengo!!! WTF?! i mean i know these things take time to heal, but still. dude come on now. i mean yea the ex sort of apologized but you can tell with the way it was written, that the fault was hidetoshi's and that's just not cool.

i'm aware that this is just a story and my friend told me that i should separate it from real life and that this abuse is a common trope in yaoi manga, so maybe it's a cultural thing. i don't care. abuse is abuse and transcends cultures mkay? the problem is that these messages easily influence people's way of thinking. my friend thought hidetoshi deserved the beatings for leading another man on, so i mean...that's a prime example of why sometimes the topic needs to be addressed.

another thing that bugged me was kengo forcing sex on hidetoshi, right after the abuse and it was glossed over a bit, but not that much. apparently this is a common trope in yaoi. speaking of which kengo, while i found his emotional pov interesting, i was really freaking mad when he said that he understood why hidetoshi's abusers abused him (because of his disinterest and the distance he placed between himself and his lovers) and that all they wanted was love, so they hit him. uuuh i'm sorry but what the hell?? there is no O I UNDERSTAND WHY ABUSERS DO THESE THINGS NOW I TOTALLY FEEL FOR THEM O MY GOD. that kind of thinking just excuses their behavior. like was that line supposed to come off as deep and emotional? because it just came off as gross. so instead of kengo coming off as someone yearning for hidetoshi's love, he just became a potential abuser in my eyes.

it also didn't help when the story shifted to look at kengo's ex girlfriend from highschool, who was also being abused by her husband, and kengo stated that she probably deserved it. i wasn't aware that when abuse happens, it's probably because of a misunderstanding and that the victim should apologize for that after being punched in the face or choked! gosh thanks for telling it like it is kengo. and the cherry on top was when he said he didn't feel sorry for her because she always acted overtly friendly towards men, which sends the wrong signals and that obviously meant that she deserved to be beaten. wow you're totally getting the best dude award now kengo. there are many other instances of kengo being a total asshat, but this review is getting super long.

i'm seriously starting to question whether the mangaka views domestic violence victims as people who deserve it and if so, i'm not reading her works anymore.

positive things: the art is lovely. so you know. if you like pretty art then read this while simultaneously erasing your brain (because you should not take the message of this manga seriously, it is toxic). the main couple were cute too, but the DV issues in this didn't help matters, so i couldn't enjoy their interactions as much like other readers did. i mean if kengo was a total douchebag about other DV victims, why would i want him to be with hidetoshi?! it's sad because i honestly liked kengo in the beginning, but then he turned into this horrible person with these horrible views and it's worse that he's in a relationship with someone who was abused.

... Last updated on April 5th, 2013, 5:43am
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by Mochi__x
January 18th, 2013, 8:41am
Rating: 3.0 / 10.0
Why has this gotten so many good reviews? I don't get it.
I really wanted to like this one as it did start out well; I liked the beginning when Kengo seemed to be supportive and caring, and I thought the domestic violence would've added more depth to this. I wanted Kengo to continue protecting Hidetoshi, and I thought it would end up quite sweet. But from the hot spring scenes (I can't remember which chapter it was), it just went downhill. Kengo suddenly starts making it seem like it was Hidetoshi's fault that he was often abused by his lover. Seriously, wtf? Some other reviewers have also pointed this out, which makes me feel relieved that I'm not the only one to be disgusted by this. Domestic violence is never the victim's fault! Even if Hidetoshi did cause his lover to doubt his feelings for him, that was still absolutely no excuse for him to get beaten up! Ugh, it pisses me off just thinking about it.
I first read this manga a long time ago and wasn't impressed (as I mentioned above), but I thought that perhaps I was too hasty in my judgement so I attempted to re-read it, but I only managed to get to chapter 7. And even that was a struggle. I once again felt uncomfortable reading it from the point when Kengo starts to "understand" why Hidetoshi's lovers abused him, and even after I stopped reading I was still left feeling bitter. I also remember that there's something to do with a woman who is also in a violent relationship, and if i'm remembering correctly, Kengo once again basically says it's her fault as she makes her husband (or boyfriend?) feel insecure or some crap like that. So basically Kengo just comes off looking like a total douchebag in my opinion. (Please excuse my language but seriously it angers me so much)
The only good point was the art. The spin-off is much better, so don't bother with this, unless you agree with the twisted view on domestic violence.
-- Rant over. --

... Last updated on January 18th, 2013, 8:49am
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not bad  
by maayan15
September 6th, 2012, 4:57am
Rating: 8.0 / 10.0
Well this manga wasn't bad at all actually it was very good and deep,
but i gave it 8 points because from the point they was together they did it almost every time they was alone together,
i don't have problem with sex,but in this case it didn't helped the story at all.
the ending also could be better, i think there were many unresolved problems in the end.
But after all, this was a fun read and I wouldn't skip this manga
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Very beautiful story:)  
by Gattaca88
January 25th, 2012, 10:36pm
Rating: 9.5 / 10.0
The development from friends to lovers was very heartwarming and I always love watching that kind of journey. Hidetoshi and Kengo made a lovely couple. I loved how gentle they were with each other and the way they looked at each other *sigh* very romantic.

The two people who loved each other and were extremely gentle to one another got the happy ending. She showed us a happy and healthy relationship between Hidetoshi and Kengo. The message the author conveyed (to me) was that is how a healthy relationship should look likesmile
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