My preference for romance is a well written romance no matter if it's boy/girl or same sex. I read more boy/girl because there's just more boy/girl romance overall so I went with bi and boy/girl romance.



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You can like both, but the poll asks you to choose the one you prefer. So ask yourself, if you were to choose a romance manga to bring on a desert island, would it be of the same sex or boy/girl type? XD

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Large majority of mangas are boy/girl so I end up reading them. I don't go seeking out same sex romances but I read them still if it catches my interest.

straight more or less... i prefer gay relationships just because the drama is more understandable and less of a "come the F#%^ ON ALREADY"

I am other and I like reading Yuri. But I dont really like romance a ton anyway.

I'm Asexual and I like reading both boy/girl romances and same-sex romances. Sucks that this isn't a choice....

Another acey-ace here (het-rom female), and I'm pretty open to any kind of romance. ^.^ I voted same-sex, though to be honest, I haven't read any GL (got some on my wishlist, though). Mostly, I read BL -- shounen-ai for the romance and yaoi for the smut (and that's about the extent of my "sexuality," ha). Since I'm not attracted to females, and a self-insert character would just make me uncomfortable, I usually avoid straight smut except for femdom because I'm kinda S. ;3 (Unfortunately, there's precious little femdom, esp. geared toward a female audience ).

Also, out of curiosity, are there any straight boys out there who read and enjoy BL? Seems like most of them hate it with a passion, though interestingly, many straight girls are into shoujo-ai and even yuri. I wonder why that is? Something about perceptions of masculinity/"gayness," maybe? It'd be interesting to look into, in any case.

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I must agree. The guys seems to be like really really anti BL and most girls (Me included - straight too) enjoy and appreciate GL as well or at least don't go - "eww omg, wtf". I think as you said it has to do ideas of masculinity. I wonder as well. I know straight guys who enjoy and read BL but they are few I think? It will definitely be interesting topic to search and understand.

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straight and like boy/girl romance, have lots of otps in non-romantic shounen and i read a crapton of shoujo

i also look at yaoi sometimes. but i don't really read it. i just go to the smutty parts and that's all lol...

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More or less?
That rather sounds like bi, with a strong preference for the opposite gender.

I take it that you mean that the way it's written is more understandable, rather than anything that is affected by what genders they have?
I've got to say, I'd kinda understand that, in that a lot of straight romance stories tend to want to drag out the "will they, won't they"-bit (often being the whole story), to rather ridiculous lengths, using more and more ludicrous excuses to do so ...and such things.

That said, the few BL/yaoi stories that I have any familiarity with (having heard of what happens, rather than actually seeing or reading, generally) have tended to have rather distasteful elements (nothing to do with the genders. See my comment above for an example) in them
...though as those stories can be counted on the fingers of one hand, which might not be all that representative, that could be due to a bad sample.

Last edited by zarlan at 6:56 am, Mar 15 2015

That is an issue that is of interest to researchers of human sexuality.
Actually, many such researchers (of either gender) would argue that all women are, to some extent, bisexual ...or that their sexuality is, more or less, fluid (i.e. it can change over time ...which I would argue, might simply be that they are bi, and their preferences change, over time).
Essentially, there are serious, academic, arguments against the notion that there is such a thing as a "monosexual" woman.

There is a study (I seem to have lost the link/name/pdf of the studies I'm talking about, at the moment *trying to re-locate them* Please note that I have actually looked at the studies themselves, and not just news articles about them. Science journalism is usually pretty shit) that looked at how much people got "turned on" (both self reported, and physical responses) by different typed of sexual content.
They showed neutral pictures, apes having sex, naked pics and masturbation (of both genders) and sex (straight, gay and lesbian).
Men (be they gay or straight), had the responses you'd expect (though a similar study on bisexual men, gave the same kind of responses, as if they were gay or straight, which you wouldn't expect).
Women, on the other hand, had responses that were what you'd expect of a bisexual, with a preference for women. This is regardless of their claimed sexual orientation (the only exception being that straight women reported to be more turned on by straight sex, than lesbian sex ...whilst their physical responses didn't agree).

Another study, which looked on where people looked, at a video of a straight couple making out, showed that men looked at the woman's body and face (in equal measure) ...whilst the women looked at the man's face and the woman's body.

...and there are studies that indicate that plenty of women who say they are straight, actually do admit to sexual attraction to other women.

And these don't seem to be a few, controversial, studies, that go against the majority of the literature, but rather to be fairly typical, with results that are pretty much what most sex experts would expect.

(also I remember skimming through a study that looked at the responses to videos of consensual vs non-consensual sex, staged I would assume, where men tended to be less turned on by the rapey stuff, but women had the opposite reaction ...which rather agrees with my impression, that women tend to be more open/attracted to more kinky/fetishy/taboo stuff)

That may have something to do with it, but I suspect that a lot of it has to do with the fact that straight men are straight ...and women are... if not all (more or less) bisexual, then at the very least... somewhat more complicated.

Edit: I've had some difficulty re-locating the specific studies I've mentioned.
I was able to re-locate a fairly decent article, and through was able to better search for the actual research.
"Gender and Sexual Orientation Differences in Sexual Response to Sexual
Activities Versus Gender of Actors in Sexual Films" might be the first study I mentioned (well, it's close enough, at any rate), though I seem to remember a certain table/graph, that isn't in it, and I simply cannot re-locate. Nevertheless it has some pretty decent graphs/tables/whatever, that illustrate the results fairly well.
There's plenty more where that came from, but a lot of it is fairly text heavy. I want to find papers that are good at illustrating the results, in an easy to understand manner, in a way that gives you a good overview..

Whilst searching I found a rather amusing title, among the peer-reviewed science papers: "What kind of erotic film clips should we use in female sex research? An exploratory study"
Yes, that is a serious scientific/academic paper and is of great scientific/academic value ...however silly it may sound.

Last edited by zarlan at 5:46 am, Mar 15 2015

So this got interesting and we have out first real conversation in weeks in a poll so here are my two cents. Has someone seen the movie "The Kids Are All Right" (nominated for best picture and more) where the lesbian couple watched gay men porn only to get turned on. This is a real thing righ? At least it was well explained and i have heard similar stuff about how even lebians respond to phallic male imagery. Sex studies are really weird but this whole women like bad boy and being dominated thing (especial if the are young) rings true to some degree. Don Draper/James Bond are popular sex symbol and they are borderline rapist. Blind trust in such studies is still no the best idea. Not only are way too precise conditions needed to replicate then but too many fall apart in the real world.
Some what zarlan wrote though does line up with i have read a few times so who know as this whole atomic family thing is fairly new if we keep the history of man in mind. It is a shame that we needed to rediscover gay marriage but i will admit that the pederast practices of dead civilizations are creepy and unhealthy as ancient Greece had it´s downfalls and Oda Nobunaga was a pedophile. That is a fact.
My opinion on why japan/manga fail at portraying homosexuality and thus why they barely grace my manga reading list is in this recent poll: http://mangaupdates.com/showtopic.php?tid=49105.
But it is kind of funny though. New York New York pulled the homosexuality aspect unbelievably well for a japanese publication but the story itself left me a bit cold.
I myself don´t have any problems with seeing graphic gay men sex even if i am straight.
I can also hug a dude with no problem too and i never real got this whole personal space thing but of well.
I like movies like Philadelphia (10/10!), Midnight Cowboy, Brokeback Mountain (but the love story was sappy) and so on and never though oh that´s nasty when the orgy´s on the Spartacus tv show had any form of homosexuality involved.I actually liked the gay characters a lot there.
It cannot be denied though that lesbian imagery is WAY more sociably acceptable in mass media then gay. The Walking Dead had a lesbian characters on screen for an entire season with zero problems but second to last week they introduced their first gay men couple (exactly like in the comic years ago) and twitter had a meltdown i was told. The comic also recently reveled that poplar and upcoming for the show badass Jesus (my 3rd favorite character) is gay and i went NICE. The letter section though went ape shit.
You can barely get more gay friend then germany but the L Word was daytime show here and Queer as Folk (i saw the good UK one) ran at night.
The Song of Ice and Fire has more (and more graphic) lesbian then gay scenes and so on.

Last edited by residentgrigo at 7:42 am, Mar 15 2015

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Well I do know that there are, at least some, lesbians who generally prefer gay porn, to regular lesbian porn.
It should be pointed out that most lesbian porn (and I'm talking non-manga, "Western" porn), is made by, and for, men ...and looks significantly different from how lesbian sex actually looks, from what I've heard. I doubt that more realistic versions would be any less appealing to men. I assume they simply don't care about consulting lesbians. The porn industry mainly just makes stuff that they think will appeal to most straight men, not giving a damn about anyone else (though that is slowly changing, mostly thanks to the internet)

...but as to whether it is common or rare...
I have no idea.

Mm. Though one should point out the difference between sexual fantasy, and desire for the real thing, that doesn't seem to fully explain it
...and to some degree, the attraction to "bad boys" may be explained by the fact that "bad boys" appear to be very confident and confidence is generally seen as sexy (regardless of gender).

Bond is a sexist, misogynist, homophobe, alcoholic, chain smoker...
Keep in mind that how he is portrayed in the movies, is a lot better than how he is in the original books (haven't read them, myself, but...)

Indeed. Well, blind trust is bad, in any case.
More importantly, even if the science is accurate, we shouldn't be too quick to jump to conclusions from the studies.
Different contexts, even seemingly insignificant issues, might turn things completely on their head.
Thanks for raising that, rather important, point.

You are welcome to elaborate. (unless you feel it's too off topic)

The most common form of marriage, throughout history, has been one man with X women.
I'd think that one man and one woman has been fairly common, throughout, but not as a norm or requirement, necessarily.

...and the notion that marriage was mainly about love, is very new indeed.
Until very recently, if you loved someone, you would prefer it if they were the one you married and when you married, you would prefer it if it was with someone you loved ...but that wasn't the point of the marriage, nor was it the main factor in the decision.
It was mostly a business/political/diplomatic agreement.

Well, at least it's slowly but surely being accepted. (which is not to say that the battle is over, or that pro-gay activists should slow down, mind you!)

The samurai and Japanese Buddhist monks, had a very similar practice, to the ancient Greeks. The older men "guiding" the younger.
Feudal Japan was pretty okay with homosexuality, overall (AFAIK), and that was good. (homophobia, apparently, being later imported from the West, sadly)
Though, as you say, the acceptance of doing it with the under-aged, was not so good. (to put it mildly)

I was rather baffled by that sentence ..until I understood that you meant how they portray it

Of course, bad portrayal is to be expected, from BL and particularly yaoi as it is mainly written by and for women, with no real reason to give a damn about real gay men, or any connection to reality.
Yuri, however, is also mostly written by and for women (though male oriented yuri is on the rise, apparently), so I would assume that it is a lot better, in that regard.

I fail to see why hugging should be seen as, in any way shape or form, necessarily being connected with sexuality or romance. Well, I can kinda understand that (though certainly not agree with) some people/societies shy away from it, due to a paranoid fear of being seen as homosexual, but...

I am also rather puzzled by why people tend to see massage in a sexual manner (unless it's massage by someone doing it as a job. Except if it it is "massage", of course).

@zarlan : I knew about the fluid sexuality theory, but hadn't heard about the study on forceful sex before. I guess it makes sense, though, since from an evolutionary standpoint it's better if the female of any species that's internally fertilised can experience pleasure even when they're been dominated/robbed of their autonomy or feeling physical pain during intercourse. And it also nicely compliments the typical heterosexual male's desire to dominate both in bed and out, so it's actually a pretty neat arrangement...if we were any other species of animal, that is. But I suppose as a part of human evolution to being psychologically superior to other animals, this has mostly disappeared/been suppressed.

Also explains the gushing commentary (which I previously found inexplicable) on BS like Viewfinder and certain het smut series, which are basically nothing but BDSM torture rape fantasies with no redeeming value whatsoever Most women have managed to overcome their base instincts and realise that just because their animal instinct say it's all good, it really isn't, at least not for a self-respecting human being. But since porn is for entertaining all of those taboo desires without actually sacrificing yourself physically or psychologically (and when it comes to yaoi, not even seeing such things been done to another woman, so completely guilt-free!), the reservations disappear.

That said, I'm pretty sure it's inaccurate to assume that all women who are not femdoms or S's have secret fantasies of being submissive in bed (or anywhere else), or that all men expect women to be this way. But the majority really is like that, from what I've seen. And I guess it's as nature deems it should be, what's best for the continued survival of the race. (Still a crappy deal for women, though, imo. But then again as an asexual aromantic woman who is neither S nor M, who am I to judge? If it pleases the girls and keeps the species thriving while at it, I guess it really is all to the good )

Last edited by calstine at 7:16 am, Mar 15 2015

@zarlan : I don't think ancient Greece or Japan ever accepted homosexuality in the sense that it's used today. I'm pretty sure that even then, permanent romantic/sexual relationships between two adults of the same sex were regarded with the same/even more severe horror as it is today. Homosexual relationships between men were probably considered expedient as a means for the younger partner to gain some experience/appreciation of the act before "graduating" to a "real" relationship with a woman, since back then contraception methods either didn't exist or were dangerous or ineffective, and pre-marital F/M sex was severely disapproved of anyway. Also, during long-term army campaigns there had to be some way for both soldiers and retainers to relieve tension. Laptops, internet, porn mags and sexting with their significant others couldn't be done back then, after all

Did Japanese oujo-sama also get it on with their maids, I wonder. I bet they did, it's just that no one knew. It must have been necessary to keep it a secret for a lot of reasons that m/m relationships in feudal Japan just weren't constrained by. (The belief that women should seek sexual gratification only from the men they "belonged to" probably chief among them)


I don't think "hugging is avoided out of a paranoid fear of being perceived as homosexual," really. I'm pretty sure that most (though not all, as evinced by residentgrigo) men -- straight or otherwise -- genuinely feel no desire for the kind of platonic physical affection conveyed by the act. Perhaps the few men who do like hugging avoid it because of being perceived as unmanly (unmanly in the sense that "something most men don't like to do = unmanly"), which negatively affects perceptions of them in both male and the majority of female eyes.

I think the "unmanly = gay" thing is actually a newly emerging school of thought. The more a society comes to acknowledge homosexuality exists and is probably here to stay, the more they become intolerant of any behaviour that's not "100% heterosexual," imo -- at least when it comes to men. I'm pretty sure a series like, say, Jeeves and Wooster would never be so popular in this day and age, since the constant poking fun at romance and people who fall in love by the two male MC's with their steadfast inter-status friendship would instantly be perceived as "gay." (Though to me it sounds more asexual than anything) And, hell, US remakes of Sherlock Holmes has a girl in place of Watson now!

Another example: I come from a very conservative country where homosexuality is a taboo topic that's never spoken about in polite company. But in my country, a guy can enjoy chick flicks, like flowers and chocolate, wear pink shirts/ties, share a bed with another guy when there's no room to sleep, share a chair/sit practically in another guy's lap when there aren't enough seats, etc., and no one finds it odd. But I'm pretty sure if you did any of those things in the US everyone would insist that you at least reconsider your sexuality or that you must be bi or something. (That said, I acknowledge that America isn't necessarily representative of the Western mindset, of course)

I'm actually pretty clueless over what's considered "suspicious" behaviour for women, though. Nothing less than inappropriate touching/kissing, I think. (Though I hear straight girls in clubs do this to entice guys or something? Maybe it's a rumour, idk. Never been anywhere near a club myself, and never will ^^)

Last edited by calstine at 8:21 am, Mar 15 2015