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Why do girls feel the need to be pretty?

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Post #440067 - Reply to (#392199) by XxKumagoroXx
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a possessive lover
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6:22 am, Jan 15 2011
Posts: 445


Quote from XxKumagoroXx
Quote from nanpa
Quote from chibinekomata
Because we live in a society where girls who aren't deemed 'pretty' barely get anywhere unless they're very skilled or lucky. /: Sad truth.

this.


Yeah this~


definitely this.

you wont be noticed by anyone if you are just a plain one.

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Post #440245
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5:01 pm, Jan 15 2011
Posts: 184


The pressure from society is just as bad if not worse for men.

Post #440603 - Reply to (#392182) by chibinekomata
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9:08 pm, Jan 16 2011
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Quote from chibinekomata
Because we live in a society where girls who aren't deemed 'pretty' barely get anywhere unless they're very skilled or lucky. /: Sad truth.



yap this is so true..well i think
its because its human nature to be
judgemental.. no

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Post #440640 - Reply to (#440603) by shiro_kitsune01
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11:58 pm, Jan 16 2011
Posts: 184


Quote from shiro_kitsune01
Quote from chibinekomata
Because we live in a society where girls who aren't deemed 'pretty' barely get anywhere unless they're very skilled or lucky. /: Sad truth.



yap this is so true..well i think
its because its human nature to be
judgemental.. no


There's nothing inherently wrong with being judgmental if we're smart about it.

No offense to the girls, but looking at thing objectively, without letting my hormones take over, I think men deserve just as much sympathy if not more than women when it comes to being judged for looks.

In liberal democratic countries, there's been an accelerating trend of inversal of gender roles. While women have been gaining power and equality (which I applaud, good for them), an unfortunate correlative effect seems to be that men have been pussified.

Society is just as judgmental about men if not more so than they are women. For instance, for statistics on online dating, for every 50 messages sent from a man to a woman, a single message gets sent from a woman to a man. That's a 50 to 1 ratio. That seems to suggest that women can be pickier than men and that men have to work much harder.

Also, many of my female friends who complained that they can't find dates have confided in me that part of the difficulty lies in the fact that they want to find a man who is taller and has a higher income than themselves. Thus, their standards will naturally grow and men's options will become increasingly limited as women displace more men from the workforce and their income rises. I'm not saying that's a bad thing that women are getting fair treatment, but this is the natural detrimental regression for men if most women (despite what they say explicitly) still keep the same high standards for men.

In stark contrast, men have very low standards for women. I've rarely heard a man think poorly of a woman who can just take good care of her health. Most men are simple-minded and don't care about a woman's income (which takes real work/effort) or her height (which is extremely difficult to change, unlike the rest which can be fixed by makeup).

If a woman stays with her parents after graduating from school, it's understandable. Hell, the father probably just wants to protect his daughter. Neither I nor many other men I know would really care (men I know from parts of Europe, USA, Canada, and China). If a man was staying home after graduating from school, then he's a social pariah. Most men I know would ridicule him or think that he is pitiful. Hell, some parents would just kick their son out for being a bum.

At the same time, while there's no social stigma for women to complain about social pressures (to be skinny, beautiful, etc), there's a massive stigma against men who complain, even from their own.

Common inane insults I've gotten when I brought up these issues in the past:
"Oh, you just can't get a girlfriend."
"You must have a small ****."
"Man up and stop being a pussy!"

<insert more "shaming language" spewed by insecure people who don't have an argument to make>

Last edited by N0x_ at 12:31 am, Jan 17 2011

Post #440673
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4:51 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 197


As a guy i have to agree with N0x_.
I do believe that the main need to be pretty is pressure. Not just peer pressure and the fear of becoming an outcast, but pressure in general. Society moves extremely fast and is rather judgemental, we have to find jobs, we have to eat, we have to live and we can't do that isolated. There aren't enough hours in the day to do what we want to do.
Does being pretty make life easier? I think so, but only because society eases this process.
Companies and stores value atractiveness as a way to attract potencial consumers, you never see fat people or ugly people in commercials.
That being said i blame the media, let's face it, TV is a big part of our lives, we read magazines, posters and banners are everywhere and constantly bomb us with images and a feel that we need to be something.
As a male i have to say that i'm not very demanding concerning looks, i do like pretty women but i dislike women with makeup or women who dress up too much. Pretty is a very volatile concept, people have different tastes, but society demands certain standards and you just can't avoid it without beign considered a weirdo or something along those lines.
That being said i do think women these days have it easier when compared with men.
Just one bit of trivia i read: a big percentage of the women in Korea have had some sort of plastic surgery to increase sucess in job hunting or in life in general. Yeah that's how life is, it's unfair, but it's life.

Post #440674
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5:06 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 302


im a 20 year old girl

and i do feel the need to be prettty but pretty for myself i hate looking at myself looking ugly

learn to be pretty guysbigrazz its nice to look at

Post #440675
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5:26 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 11


Okay, i just looked at this thread and realized that i HAD to post a response here... I'm a teenage girl, and i do NOT feel the need to be pretty. Let me say that again: teenage and do NOT feel the need to be pretty. I also don't wanna wear makeup anytime soon. -_-

Seeing this thread remineded me of the time that me a friend were talking, and i brought up the fact of how i HATE(d) dresses with a passion. -_- (hate wearing them, don't care if others wear them)- i don't hate them now, but i did back then. Now they're just... uncomfortable. -_- anyway, she talked about how she liked them since they 'made her feel pretty.' I mentioned how they really didn't do that for me. She asked me if there was something else that did, and i said no. Then she looked at me with this really and earnestly sad face, and was all 'you mean you never feel pretty?' To this day, that conversation makes me laugh. (don't know why, it just does) I think she got something wrong: it's not that i never feel pretty (though i don't... i really don't get that...) it's more that if i'm gonna feel anything, i'll feel presentable, i guess... and since i dont' feel the need to be pretty, i never thought about that till my friend mentioned the idea of 'feeling pretty' in that conversation.

So, me, myself, and i do not wanna feel pretty. I just grab a shirt, and pants in the morning and throw them on. As long as i don't look terrible, i'm fine. ^^ (bottom line: i have no idea how to answer your question)

p.s. N0x, I can see the reality in what you said. And (coming from a semi-feminist) that is just really really sad. =( - for those of you who want to see what he said, look to the 3rd post above mine- i'm not posting it here, too long ^^

Post #440676 - Reply to (#440674) by mixxi
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5:42 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 53


Quote from mixxi
im a 20 year old girl

and i do feel the need to be prettty but pretty for myself i hate looking at myself looking ugly

learn to be pretty guys bigrazz its nice to look at


i completely agree. I'm a guy, and i just enjoy looking at pretty girls. I can't really speak for a girl, but as a guy i dress up and make sure i look good, partially for myself and for others. It's much easier to be more confident this way, what kind of confidence can you have if you are dressed like a slob? and by looking good, you get to know way more people. I won't say that as long as you are good looking everything works out, but being good looking sure helps and does count.

Quote from N0x_
There's nothing inherently wrong with being judgmental if we're smart about it.

In liberal democratic countries, there's been an accelerating trend of inversal of gender roles. While women have been gaining power and equality (which I applaud, good for them), an unfortunate correlative effect seems to be that men have been pussified.

Also, many of my female friends who complained that they can't find dates have confided in me that part of the difficulty lies in the fact that they want to find a man who is taller and has a higher income than themselves. Thus, their standards will naturally grow and men's options will become increasingly limited as women displace more men from the workforce and their income rises. I'm not saying that's a bad thing that women are getting fair treatment, but this is the natural detrimental regression for men if most women (despite what they say explicitly) still keep the same high standards for men.

In stark contrast, men have very low standards for women. I've rarely heard a man think poorly of a woman who can just take good care of her health. Most men are simple-minded and don't care about a woman's income (which takes real work/effort) or her height (which is extremely difficult to change, unlike the rest which can be fixed by makeup).

At the same time, while there's no social stigma for women to complain about social pressures (to be skinny, beautiful, etc), there's a massive stigma against men who complain, even from their own.



Sorry i don't understand much of what this even has to do with the topic at hand. Nevertheless, although i do see some reason in the point you make, there are a few discrepancies. The point you make that women are making more money, means that it wll be harder for men to find a mate does not look at the entire picture. Either way, the income of women vary widely from poor to rich. Therefore, the richer women would marry richer men, and the poorer women would marry poorer men. As long as the richest person in the world is not a women, then there is no problem for many matchups to still be made even with such requirements.

As a guy myself i kind of reminisce on the old tiimes of being a "gentlemen". Certainly women have been raising their status to come closer to being equivalent to men. However, although i agree that some men have been "pussified", but that is the exception and not the norm. I still very encourage, and see many others as well, being the "classic gentlemen", opening the door for a lady, lending his coat when she is cold, insisting on paying for dates.

However, due to the fact that these comments have digressed from the original topic I will end my statement here. i just needed to point out the fact that "true gentlemens" are frequent and numerous. Ne-yo had even declared the year 2008 to be the year of the gentlemen.

Last edited by lambchopsil at 5:23 pm, Jan 18 2011

Post #440678
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5:57 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 36


well as a couple of guys said there is social pressure and even peer pressure but there is also something more in my case i learned to like to try to make an effort and that´s not just cause of the boys but because of myself i feel more confident when i look pretty as shallow as it may sound it is true.

Post #440681 - Reply to (#436362) by namuffy
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6:30 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 282


Quote from namuffy
Or.. sometimes it's for competition.
If there is someone more pretty then you, you have the need to look prettier than them.
It's sort of stupid.. I really hate people like that. but it's the truth.


seconded. there are a lot of people who feel like this.

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Post #440698
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9:39 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 184


Quote from chris930421
Sorry i don't understand much of what this even has to do with the topic at hand. Nevertheless, although i do see some reason in the point you make, there are a few discrepancies. The point you make that women are making more money, means that it wll be harder for men to find a mate does not look at the entire picture. Either way, the income of women vary widely from poor to rich. Therefore, the richer women would marry richer men, and the poorer women would marry poorer men. As long as the richest person in the world is not a women, then there is no problem for many matchups to still be made even with such requirements.

<snip/>


My point is definitely on topic. To truly dig deep into a topic, we're bound to go off on semi-tangents as we make comparisons and look at the larger picture of the social pressures on peoples' need to be pretty. Semi-tangents are to be expected in any heavily-discussed topic.

Your point that income of women varying widely from poor to rich holds just as much for men, and I think you missed the point where I mentioned that:
1. Most women actually care about income.
2. Most men don't care.

This means that *generally* women with income above 50% of men will not be off-limits to 50% of men when it comes to long-term relationships. On the other hand, no matter how much a man makes, he'll never really be off-limits to the hypermajority of women, because chances are he doesn't care how much a woman makes. This gives women, when it comes to this dimension, much more flexibility. This holds regardless of the variability of womens' income.

The same is applicable to height, which is next to impossible to change. Men generally don't care as much about height as women. This again gives women much more flexibility and breathing room.

While I make more than 99% of people in the world and can sit more comfortably, I still can't help but think about poorer men in most parts of the world who aren't living in upper-echelon developed countries. Women, ones of just presentable appearance, are being snatched up from their poor villages by men of slightly better fortune (slightly less poor villages, who had their own women leave for greener pastures). Just read about the "bachelor villages" in the world. It gets highlighted most in China, but I do hear that it's not just China, but many poorer countries in the world.

The phenomenon of gender migration I see from women, not men. "Bachelorette villages" are *unheard of*.

While I can sympathize with the women chasing a higher social class, they have the option to do that. Men don't. Most woman won't even look at men from a lower social class. Most women in the world would rather die single.

At the same time, men are stigmatized for pursuing beauty the way women do. They can't use makeup to improve their looks, can't adjust their height, can't do this, can't do that. (Let's be honest, women care just as much about looks as men. They care about face and height.) The social pressures on men ("to be pretty") in the world are just as bad as those on women, at the same time, they lack the same options.

Last edited by N0x_ at 10:14 am, Jan 17 2011

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9:45 am, Jan 17 2011
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i dont really...most girls do but i dont care about being "pretty".

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10:01 am, Jan 17 2011
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I always feel pretty.

Post #440705
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10:10 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 184


Quote from chris930421
As a guy myself i kind of reminisce on the old tiimes of being a "gentlemen". Certainly women have been raising their status to come closer to being equivalent to men. However, although i agree that some men have been "pussified", but that is the exception and not the norm. I still very encourage, and see many others as well, being the "classic gentlemen", opening the door for a lady, lending his coat when she is cold, insisting on paying for dates.

However, due to the fact that these comments have digressed from the original topic I will end my statement here. i just needed to point out the fact that "true gentlemens" are frequent and numerous. Ne-yo had even declared the year 2008 to be the year of the gentlemen.


Nothing wrong with being a gentleman. That's just displaying courtesy.

But as society is increasingly liberalized, this need for men to be remain gentlemanly and maintain gender-based responsibilities is a bit unfair. Since women have demanded and gotten the right to work along-side men and the opportunity to be bread-winners for the family, shouldn't that naturally imply that men should win custody of children more often than they currently do? After all, both genders are capable of being workers and/or stay-at-home parents. Both genders are capable of paying child-support/alimony.

Being a gentleman by paying the bill made much more sense when it was mostly men allowed in the white-collar workplace. As of now, why is a man still required to pay the bill himself when going on a date with a woman who makes just as much as him?

Also, I don't think men being pussified is the exception. In some surveys, about a third of Japanese men are uninterested in sex or pursuing relationships. I don't trust those surveys, but they come with other cultural revelations about Japanese "herbivores"/"grass-eaters" who've seemingly just gave up on life and have no ambition any more. I see comparable phenomenon in many other countries.

Note that I am the only male who bothered to point this out ("men have just as many pressures"). Most men I know personally wouldn't bother... out of fear of offending or being criticized/insulted by liberals/progressives/feminists, etc... having their "manhood" attacked. Not that I mind social progression, I'm just pointing out that societies are rushing ahead in liberalism, while still maintaining the same standards on men.

Post #440706
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10:19 am, Jan 17 2011
Posts: 2


I like to feel pretty, try different types of makeup, hairstyles and clothes. I do it mostly for myself but ofcourse everybody do it for other people. It's not only for me.
My big brother had a girlfriend and she was really pretty, but by the time they were dating she cared less and less about how she looked. When they broke up she started to dress up again so I think we do it without meaning to. bigrazz
But my brother and the girl are together again and their expecting a baby soon. :3

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