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New Poll - Not Having

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7:28 am, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 10096

This week's poll by jacob66 is a bit more philosophical in nature. I'm not sure how to expound upon it more besides just retyping the question. Maybe you should go read Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes.

You can submit poll ideas here

Previous Poll Results:
Question: You finish watching an anime and discover there's a manga that continues further with the story. Do you...
Start the manga from the beginning - votes: 2509 (66.4%)
Start the manga from where the anime ends - votes: 1119 (29.6%)
Not read the manga - votes: 148 (3.9%)
There were 3776 total votes.
The poll ended: August 15th 2020

Gotta read what the anime skipped, right?

A just ruler amongst tyrants
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11:05 am, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 1143

Warn: Banned

Have had and lost because then you know what NOT to do the next time.

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11:57 am, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 150

If never had at all it is kinda more regrets... So better to have something and lose it that way fewer regrets...

I am envoy from nowhere in nowhere. Nobody and nothing have sent me. And though it is impossible I exist. © Trimutius

12:37 pm, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 145

They're the same I feel both situations are vexing, but for me, either can be worst if I let it. You can hold on to the feeling of having lost someone (or something) or you can let time or counseling ease it. In the same way, you can let jealousy or regret consume you over not having something (or someone), or you can let time or counseling ease it.

The mental fix for either of them are the same so none should really weigh more. I know the physical troubles cause by them (or any situation) can be very different, so it can be harder to think they have the same weight when the physical baggage is different.

Internet Lurker At Heart
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Lone Wanderer

12:48 pm, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 2097

It's definitely worse to have had and lost. Can't miss what you've never had, after all.

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Seinen is RIGHT

9:34 pm, Aug 15 2020
Posts: 2200

Is this the moral conundrum of Death Note Vol 12? Lol.

Never have had at all is worse. Go and read Sandman issue 13: “Men of Good Fortune” to find out why. You don´t even need context for it to work. Mostly.
It is also adapted in the new audio drama in full.

I also read EU/US comics and am a librarian.
Manga-Masters, My ANN-Lists + Imdb
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3:36 am, Aug 16 2020
Posts: 291

The question is worded weirdly because it's usually "better" and not "worse" so I clicked "have had and lost" but realized my mistake after. I wonder how many people misread/misclicked because of the switch from "better" to "worse."

Must Read Webcomic:

Western Webcomics
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6:53 am, Aug 16 2020
Posts: 600

It's answer Never have had at all because I do not like feel remorse like I could not save them from death or I could not use the opportunity. It would have big impact on me.

1st: Death Note
Post #779495

6:53 am, Aug 16 2020

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Post #779516 - Reply to (#779487) by mikako17

12:22 am, Aug 17 2020
Posts: 327

I did the same thing =.=" I read the question, thought for a solid minute about which I'd prefer, and then selected "Have had and lost" without re-reading the question, thus providing the opposite of the answer I actually meant....

Anyway, my real answer would be "It Depends", because I feel like with things like love and family it's better to have had, experiencing the feelings of loss when your family dies is a healthy part of living.

Meanwhile on the topic of wealth, it's honestly better to live right at the poverty line your whole life than to go from a millionaire to lower middle class. Obviously the worst situation is literally starving and being completely homeless because you're far below the poverty line, but people seem to be a LOT better off at living paycheck to paycheck and barely making ends' meet if they have no idea what it's like to... not live that way. I'm a well-paid software engineer at the moment and I can't even imagine how miserable I'd be to lose everything. I don't even keep most of my money in index funds because of my paranoia (though I plan to invest if the market crashes again).

So yeah, my real answer is that it's worse to Never have had at all, *except* on the topic of wealth.

Edit: and from the replies in this thread, roughly half of the people made the same mistake as we did... but then still didn't notice the mistake even after voting and commenting. transdude and otakuch both answered in such a way that implies that they are still reading the question wrong. lambchopsil: if you're going to have a poll worded differently than usual, at least make it one that people don't have to think about before answering! I think the thinking time is what's really making us forget the question before voting.

Post #779518 - Reply to (#779516) by HikaruYami
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12:49 am, Aug 17 2020
Posts: 418

This. Completely agree with this. And I think I mispolled, too. Yay. Personally believe most things are better to have had and lost, rather than never having experienced them, because you'd miss the positive, too.
Except wealth. You are absolutely right on that point.

Post #779575

7:37 pm, Aug 18 2020
Posts: 382

In the case of wealth:
It's good to grow up with proper nutrition, stimulation, exercise, education etc having had at least a comfortable level (not growing up with a very high level, would be best, IMO), would be best. I'd say not having had wealth is fine, but having been poor isn't.
Granted, there are negatives of having had a decent economic level, and then losing it (compared to always having been poor), but they're mostly short-term.
You adjust and adapt.
Having had, and lost, wealth and/or status is better than never having had it

Opportunity? It's obviously better to have had, and then lost, isn't it?

...but love, family, friends...
The loss of those, is far more serious.
It kinda depends, I suppose, but I lean towards "having had and lost", as being worse.
Though I'd say that there should be yet another option, that I'd say is the real worst option:
Having thought you had, but then realise it was all a lie.
All those great friends of yours?
They were never your friends.
They said they were, and mostly acted (to your face) like they were, never actually had any feelings of friendship or respect towards you.
And then your eyes are opened to this fact, and you see that you have no friends
....nor do you have any ability to trust anyone, any more.

Post #779580
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9:05 pm, Aug 18 2020
Posts: 561

Generally it’s better to have had something. I’ll be sad when my parents die, but I’m not going to wish that I didn’t go through many years of life with them because of that. Likewise I would rather be wealthy for ten years than be poor for my entire life. Poverty is stress about paying the rent or affording groceries and any reprieve from stress is welcome.

The exception for me would be romantic love. I don’t date anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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8:22 pm, Aug 19 2020
Posts: 47

The question is about "which one is worst" right?

My answer is both. I imagine this something as love, family, friendship, and such.

If I never had those somethings, isn't it really worse? Not growing up in love, or never experience any kind of love is sad and lonely, in my opinion. I learned this from fictions, either it was novel or manga. I remembered character like Voldemort though. This might be generalizing and full of bias, but it's just what I think.

On the other hand, if I had it and lost it, of course I would be devastated too. My pa was sick for a year. He's still going on for treatment. I'm not really close to him and sometimes I did get annoyed because of him, but I can't imagine loosing one of my direct and closest family member someday.

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