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New Poll - Family vs Friends

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2:13 pm, Mar 1 2021
Posts: 155


It's so interesting to see how everyone else is interpreting the poll, since the different results we're getting are a result of different ways people define their own categories of "friends" and "family".

I agree with HikaruYami. You can have family who are also your friends and conversely, you can have family who are lame and not friends. Thinking about a worst-case scenario, I would also not care to spend time or effort for "family" who may just want to take advantage of me or waste my time being toxic. If my friends were no longer friends for any reason, they would no longer be a part of my life, and I don't see how that's different when considering someone you happen to share blood with. For someone to remain a friend, regardless if they're blood-related to you or not, that is the basis on which I would value them.

I'm guessing some people just think it's bizarre to consider a dad or a mom also a "friend", so they draw a clear divide there, but still feel the need to give weight to the affection they consider for these close individuals. Personally, I just think generally of the term "friends" and don't feel to withhold that title from my family, either.

EDIT: Oh. I didn't expect to see comments about 'fake friends'. I personally don't tolerate those. I would just consider those people "acquaintances." I wouldn't consider fake friends a variable at all with this poll.

Post #789012
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2:51 pm, Mar 1 2021
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Poll made me think of this...How Many Friends Do You Have? from QI series H...

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3:58 pm, Mar 1 2021
Posts: 54


I don't know about you all but my friends ARE my family. Genetics have no bearing on who I consider family.

Post #789036 - Reply to (#789000) by dreamer00013
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12:45 am, Mar 3 2021
Posts: 439


Quote from dreamer00013
Family. Family's there, always, even if you had a seriously bad quarrel.

No.
Your family is. Not everyone's.
Quote
The socalled best friend? Can turn out to be a very self-centered bitch

Then they were never really your friends, in the first place.

Post #789037 - Reply to (#789006) by HikaruYami
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12:56 am, Mar 3 2021
Posts: 439


Quote from HikaruYami
So many people I see tolerate absolutely garbage parents into their 40s for no other reason than they feel some kind of obligation to them "because family". It's so backwards and gross to me.

Indeed.
Parents have an absolute obligation towards their kids. They brought them into the world. They have the responsibility to keep them safe, and guide them towards becoming proper healthy (incl mentally) independent adults. A responsibility that they have, until such a time that the kids have reached that goal.
They have no rights, to decide what friends, hobbies, likes, Significant Other, or desires the kids must have or not have (with a few exception: They should discourage them from being friends with nazis, or joining a cult or the mafia, and the like)
I am especially sickened by people who talk as if, or in some instances explicitly state, that the kids are owned by the parents. Owning another human being, is slavery.

The kids have no responsibility, "debt", or gratitude, owed towards their parents, for being born. They had no say in being born, and never asked for it. (not that they don't like being alive, but that's beside the point) The parents decided to have a kid …or were careless. Either way, it's their own decision, for themselves.
As for any responsibility/"debt"/gratitude owed, for having been taken care of:
That is the absolute minimum required responsibility of the parents. You don't get a prize, for not being horrible and irresponsible.

Post #789042 - Reply to (#789006) by HikaruYami
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8:15 am, Mar 3 2021
Posts: 130


I didn't vote and I don't disagree with your post. You just FRAMED IT DIFFERENTLY. The "Jooles" in your post has nothing to do with what I wrote; it's solely comprised of your inner demons. That mentality and anger of yours is fucking scary.

Post #789047 - Reply to (#789037) by zarlan
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9:12 am, Mar 3 2021
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This:
Quote from zarlan
They have no rights, to decide what friends, hobbies, likes, Significant Other, or desires the kids must have or not have


Directly contradicts this:
Quote from zarlan
Parents have an absolute obligation towards their kids. They brought them into the world. They have the responsibility to keep them safe, and guide them towards becoming proper healthy (incl mentally) independent adults. A responsibility that they have, until such a time that the kids have reached that goal.


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Post #789049 - Reply to (#789047) by Transdude1996
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2:37 pm, Mar 3 2021
Posts: 13


Damn that’s the biggest contradiction I’ve seen in my life

Post #789060 - Reply to (#789036) by zarlan
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3:21 am, Mar 4 2021
Posts: 418


Obviously that's my family, not everyone's families xD whole poll is super subjective.

And that's the thing: in the end, you'll value those more who stand by you in bad times. I figured my friends would, and was disappointed. My family was there and will continue to be there.

And I'd like to believe that said friend didn't used to be that shitty, but people do change and go through phases. You can only act upon it and watch where it goes, I believe. Either way, she was a very precious friend once that used to actually be a friend.

Post #789063 - Reply to (#789049) by Yask
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9:49 am, Mar 4 2021
Posts: 439


Quote from Yask
Damn that’s the biggest contradiction I’ve seen in my life

How/where is there any hint of a contradiction, in that, whatsoever?

Last edited by zarlan at 10:02 am, Mar 4 2021

Post #789064 - Reply to (#789063) by zarlan
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12:00 pm, Mar 4 2021
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You declared that the parents have the absolute authority and responsibility towards raising and nurturing their offspring in the best manner they deem acceptable, from birth to adulthood, due to the both of the (Assumingely mature) parents consenting to have sex (Which is how procreation occurs). Then, you declare that parents should not have the authority, nor the responsibility, over how their offspring are raised when it comes to their associations, pastimes, goals, and desires.

This presents the paradox: how can a parent be authoritative, responsible, nurturing, and raise their offspring if they cannot dictate or judge who their child interacts with, what activities their child can participate in, and what opportunities their child sees accessible and possible to pursue?

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1:48 pm, Mar 5 2021
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I think it honestly depends on the person. I can't choose either one because both are important to me. I have friends who I consider family and I have friends who I consider are just friends but are definitely important to me. I'm just gonna say both.

Post #789092 - Reply to (#789013) by toshirodragon
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3:00 am, Mar 6 2021
Posts: 189


Dam ,after reading this I totally agree with family. 🙂

But It's true this poll is too reliant on our interpretation of family and friends.

Last edited by Joese at 3:07 am, Mar 6 2021

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4:37 am, Mar 6 2021
Posts: 28


Myself.

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7:01 am, Mar 6 2021
Posts: 231


Good friends are family.

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