I wanted to ask whether any of you are married in real life. (Or have been married.)

If you are, could you tell me what you think of marriage? It could be marriage in general, or your own specific marriage. Of course, if your spouse is also a B-U member, that might limit what you can say (don't want to cheese off the spouse!), but please try to tell me what you HONESTLY feel about marriage.

I'm seriously thinking about marrying and finally settling down, so what I'm basically looking for is honest and experienced advice from those that have been there and done that. Something that might help me in my own marriage, and will help me make better decisions...

So if you can, please answer the following questions:

1) What makes a marriage "work," in your opinion?

2) What makes a marriage happy?

3) In your opinion, what places the most pressure on a marriage? (e.g. financial difficulty, relationship with the in-laws, children, less time together, sexual issues, etc.)

4) Are you happier married than you were unmarried?

5) What are most of your marital arguments about, and how do you solve them? Also, how do you argue? (e.g. shouting, sitting down and discussing things, giving/receiving the silent treatment, throwing things, leaving the house for some time, asking a third party for advice/mediation, etc.)

6) How long have you been married for, and do you still want to stay married to this person for the rest of your life?

7) Have you or your spouse ever had or ever considered having an affair? If so, why? (Or why not?)

8) What are your regrets in the marriage or in your own conduct in the marriage? (e.g. is there something you feel you could have done better or are working on doing better, or you wish your spouse did better?)

9) What are the best or most cherished moments in your marriage? And what are your fondest memories?

10) Describe your basic feelings towards your spouse - positive, negative, ambivalent, anything you feel.

11) Does one spouse end up compromising more often than the other? Why or why not?

12) What has marriage taught you about life and people and relationships in general?

If you can, you may also tell me how you met your spouse, how you got married, whether you still celebrate your anniversaries, basically anything you want to say.

Thanks so much!

You've been asking a lot about things related to romance lately

Nope. I'm not married.

________________
Lalala~

Hahaha, I have, haven't I? I suppose I'm really obvious...

Thanks for responding.

I know a FEW of you that are married, and I hope that you'll come forward, but given the kind of questions I'm asking, maybe people will hesitate! I hope not... *shy*

Nope, wish I was.......

________________
<b>Reading</b> <!--m_gen--><a href='http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=1859' title="Click for series info"><u>Love Lucky</u></a><!--m_gen_end--><BR><b>Recommended</b> <!--m_gen--><a href='http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=5920' title="Click for series info"><u>B Gata H Kei</u></a><!--m_gen_end--> <3 <!--m_gen--><a href='http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=24665' title="Click for series info"><u>Conveni-N</u></a><!--m_gen_end--> XD<BR><!--img--><img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/chulian1819.png' border='0' alt='User Posted Image'><!--img_end-->

1) What makes a marriage "work," in your opinion?
Lots and lots of work. It's not hard work (not something you don't want to do) but, you only get out of it what you put into it. And it's the small things that add up and make things that much brighter. Anyone can remember things like Valentines Day, but the surprise rose or hand written card (or anything else you can think of) or even just letting the other person know you love them out of the blue goes a long way.

2) What makes a marriage happy?
The little things. Sharing as much as you can, but be sure not to overcrowd your spouse or try and change them. Everything is better when you're with your spouse, and if you can't be with them somewhere fun, you end up thinking of them the entire time and wish they were there with you.


3) In your opinion, what places the most pressure on a marriage? (e.g. financial difficulty, relationship with the in-laws, children, less time together, sexual issues, etc.)
Finances are probably the top of the pressure list (though we don't have children yet, so I can't comment on how that would change things, but for us I think that will end up being more bliss vs pressure). Having enough money to take care of the things that need taken care of is just one of the most stressful things in life in general, it's just more apparent when you support a family vs being out on your own and you can make a jar of peanut butter last for a month of meals when money is short.


4) Are you happier married than you were unmarried?
For sure, YES. Everything is better when you have someone to share it with. Having the same goals and dreams and working towards them together rather than alone is huge.


5) What are most of your marital arguments about, and how do you solve them? Also, how do you argue? (e.g. shouting, sitting down and discussing things, giving/receiving the silent treatment, throwing things, leaving the house for some time, asking a third party for advice/mediation, etc.)
We talk, I can't stand yelling and it doesn't help matters to get overly emotional when trying to deal with a problem. You can try and understand each other and solve the issue (spending is usually all we'll have discussions about), or you can fall apart. Communication is a big key in keeping a marriage together. Probably not what everyone does, but it works for us.


6) How long have you been married for, and do you still want to stay married to this person for the rest of your life?
10 years (11 in November) and we will be married for the rest of our lives. We truly do compliment each other, no one else in the world could replace one of us.


7) Have you or your spouse ever had or ever considered having an affair? If so, why? (Or why not?)
Nope.



8) What are your regrets in the marriage or in your own conduct in the marriage? (e.g. is there something you feel you could have done better or are working on doing better, or you wish your spouse did better?)
We married young (18 for her, 23 for me) but now we wouldn't change it for the world. I wouldn't recommend getting married that young, but it worked out for us (it took many years and a lot of work). Everyone is different though, so it's not something that is easily based off of others. We've just both agreed that we really were not ready for marriage when we committed.


9) What are the best or most cherished moments in your marriage? And what are your fondest memories?
Vacations. Being together somewhere unique has always been the best of times. Driving around talking for hours as well (I forget where we are going half the time and drive on auto-pilot, but that just shows how much we pay attention to each other even after 10 years).


10) Describe your basic feelings towards your spouse - positive, negative, ambivalent, anything you feel.
Love.


11) Does one spouse end up compromising more often than the other? Why or why not?
We work to avoid that. It's not a relationship if one person takes advantage of the other. It's give and take, not take and take.


12) What has marriage taught you about life and people and relationships in general?
It will be work till the end. You won't get anything out of it if you don't invest anything into it. And the moments with your spouse are more enjoyable than any of those before you were married.


If you can, you may also tell me how you met your spouse, how you got married, whether you still celebrate your anniversaries, basically anything you want to say. smile
We met in an anime chat room on yahoo on the 1st of the year in 1999. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, but of course, two weeks later we were dating (long distance). Had a small wedding in front of two of my friends and a justice of the peace. We plan to renew our vows on our 20th or 25th in Vegas with family (so that we get the larger wedding we didn't make for ourselves earlier). Of course that means we sill celebrate our anniversaries. We go out to eat, or I make up some expensive lavish dish at home that takes me most the day to make.

Every day with her makes me happier. It was the best decision of my life.

And wow, that was a lot of questions (I swear I've been typing for half an hour!)

Wonderland, just wanted to say congrats.

Thank you

same here man

@tartufo
How old are that you think it's about time to settle down

p.s.
No i'm not married or have been married. although i too started wondering about settling down recently

________________
Words to live by: "Let sleeping dogs lie"
[CENTER][/CENTER]

1) What makes a marriage "work," in your opinion?
It comes down to compatibility and being able to work things out between you when issues arise. Just because s/he trips your trigger doesn't mean that you can put up with everything that they do. Sometimes, no matter how much you like a person, there are things they say/do that are like oil to your water - they just don't mesh. Trying to fight it is generally a losing battle that will eventually make you both miserable. There's always an amount of give and take, but a marriage works when you've figured out the balance of give/take that won't annoy the hell out of either one of you. For some people, there never is that balance. For others, there is.

2) What makes a marriage happy?
TRUST. We trust each other completely. We can literally tell each other EVERYTHING. He knows every skeleton I have, and I know he won't tell anyone I don't want to know. We can talk about past lovers without jealousy. We've even lived with past lovers of his and mine in our house, and it was never a concern between us, because we know without a doubt that they are just that - past lovers. We're both good friends with a lot of our ex-s, and we've become friends with them. We can talk about everything candidly. Hence, I have no fear of writing the total truth here, even when he's a member (albeit sporadically) and he can read this at any time.

Also, that same balance I mentioned above will keep things happy. You don't have to share every ideal between each other, but you do have to respect every ideal between each other, even if you don't think the same way. My husband (arawn) and I have differing opinions on some things, and similar opinions on others. (More similar than dissimilar, as to be expected.) But even if we don't agree, we respect the other's opinions. Sometimes we are swayed on matters, and sometimes we aren't, but we always listen. You really have to make sure that you share common major goals within the marriage, though. If one partner wants children and the other doesn't, don't go into it thinking "Oh, I can change their mind eventually." That's a recipe for resentment.

3) In your opinion, what places the most pressure on a marriage? (e.g. financial difficulty, relationship with the in-laws, children, less time together, sexual issues, etc.)
Counselors will tell you that money is the number one stress in most marriages. Though that is true for mine, it's not ever something that's been divisive between us - just a cause of stress (since he's been out of a job for over a year). Fortunately, we both love our in-laws and most of our extended families, so that's no problem whatsoever, though it admittedly can be another cause of stress and divisiveness. We just had our first child, so I don't know how much pressure that will add, but I doubt it will be any. We both want children.

4) Are you happier married than you were unmarried? Most definitely. But then, I've always known since I was little that I wanted to be married and have children. I could not fathom a life without such. That's not true for everyone, though, so I don't expect everyone to agree with that sentiment. There are people who are happier to be unmarried, even though they're in love.

5) What are most of your marital arguments about, and how do you solve them? Also, how do you argue? (e.g. shouting, sitting down and discussing things, giving/receiving the silent treatment, throwing things, leaving the house for some time, asking a third party for advice/mediation, etc.)
We bicker good-naturedly more than we argue. When we do argure, most of our arguments are because we have opposing views/angles on something, and we're trying to get the other to understand our point - not AGREE with it, mind you, just acknowledge where we're coming from - a validation of what we think on the subject (because we're both stubborn sometimes). Sometimes it's because I've asked him to do something and he hasn't done it, so I have to nag him, which is annoying to both of us. We've never actually been at war with each other over anything. He tends to go very quiet when he gets angry, and we have to walk away from each other for a while before one or the other of us calms down enough not to be as angry and finish talking it out. We've never gone to bed angry with each other because we've never truly been angry with each other.

6) How long have you been married for, and do you still want to stay married to this person for the rest of your life?
This past March was our 6th anniversary, and I absolutely want to stay married to him.

7) Have you or your spouse ever had or ever considered having an affair? If so, why? (Or why not?)
I seriously doubt he has, though he'd have to answer for himself. I'm in the "look, but don't touch" category. Meaning: have I seriously considered it? No, I don't want someone else. Have I fantasized? Yes. The amusing thing to me is that even if I'm dreaming about some guy I knew/crushed on years before I met arawn, I wind up feeling too guilty subconsciously to go through with committing adultery, even in dreams. Consciously fantasizing is different - that's no problem - though I tend to fantasize about characters, not real people anyway. The only harm in that is if you let it start to affect the marriage. Truth be told, he's benefitted from it, not been harmed by it, because I don't want to be with anyone else but him.

8) What are your regrets in the marriage or in your own conduct in the marriage? (e.g. is there something you feel you could have done better or are working on doing better, or you wish your spouse did better?)
My biggest concern is that I don't have the same libido he does, and I wonder if I satisfy him often enough.

9) What are the best or most cherished moments in your marriage? And what are your fondest memories?
The birth of our daughter, by far and away. After that, meeting him for the first time in person is my fondest memory. (I met him online first.)

10) Describe your basic feelings towards your spouse - positive, negative, ambivalent, anything you feel.
We amuse each other, which keeps us happy. There's love, trust, understanding, acceptance. As cliche as it may be, we complete each other in many ways. And thank goodness that neither of us is high maintenance. We're both pretty easy-going. He's almost everything I've ever wanted in a partner, husband, and father.

11) Does one spouse end up compromising more often than the other? Why or why not?
In every relationship, there is always one side that is more committed to making that relationship work than the other - one who loves the other more, quite literally. Sometimes the disparity between the two is very slight (almost to the point that it doesn't exist) and other times it is fairly large. It will help you to realize which of these two you actually are in the context of your relationship. I have no illusions that he loves me more than I love him. That's not to say I don't love him, but I know he's the more committed of the two of us. He would say that he adores me. I'm in love with him, but 'adore' is probably not a word I would use to describe how I feel. Anyway, all of that was to say that the one who loves more and is more committed will always be the one that compromises more often. Please note that I do compromise, and he doesn't compromise that much more than I do, but I'm certain that he compromises more just because of his position in the relationship between us. The variance in compromise is directly proportional to the discrepancy in commitment between partners.

12) What has marriage taught you about life and people and relationships in general?
Not enough people truly TRUST each other. If you hold something back, that will be a strain on your relationship. It may only be a small strain, or it may be(come) a large one, but that strain will be there.

If you can, you may also tell me how you met your spouse, how you got married, whether you still celebrate your anniversaries, basically anything you want to say.

The short version of our story is here, on the website of the game we met on:
http://www.swmud.org/players/gallery/married.htm#ichthus_liria
(Auth. note: 'cide = suicide = delete his character from the game; RN = the news system.)

We aren't big on celebrating our anniversary. We go out to dinner, but it doesn't have to be that night. We're fairly easy-going. We have also tended to go pretty easy on Christmas gifts because of monetary constraints. We're as likely to get a joint gift between us as we are to getting each other an individual gift. We make it work. =)

Last edited by Liria at 10:52 am, May 3 2010

________________
If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

@Liria and Wonderland, you guys are my GODS, seriously, I never thought that there would be people so sincere and sweet in their replies as to answer every single one of my questions! (I was hoping that maybe people would bother to answer one or two... Lol. I think I underestimated the awesomeness of B-U members. Clearly a mistake I shan't repeat!)

I'm fascinated that both of you met your spouses online. Care to comment about how things started, how they developed after that, and how they eventually led to marriage? Because obviously many of us here might find our loves online (we spend so much time on manga-related communities!). I'm just fascinated by how online interest can become an offline romance and then even a marriage - and a successful marriage at that. How awesome!

Congratulations to you both and to your wonderful spouses! You both deserve all the happiness life has given you! Thanks to your advice, I feel a lot more grounded in my own approach to getting married. You both are so nice, oh my god. Lol, ok, I should stop gushing now...

I knew OF arawn for around 3 years before I really started speaking to him in any capacity other than polite chatter within game context. Either he was in a relationship or I was, and so it never really occurred. The link above is to the story of how we met/started talking to each other. It started with that first conversation, and within a week we'd progressed to talking to each other for a couple of hours on the phone each night. Within another couple of weeks, I decided it had been forever since I'd been to an amusement park and decided to go to one, and lo' and behold, there was one I'd never been to that was about equidistant between where he and I lived, so I invited him to meet me.

Ok, so here's where I get into the public safety announcement and the "Don't Do What I Did, Kiddies" - because I invited him to stay in the hotel room with me, just the two of us. Had we not been the people we claimed to be, that could have been a Very Bad Situation. Fortunately it turned out not to be so, but we both should've been safer than we were for the first time we met in person, in unfamiliar territory.

Anyway, after several weeks of nightly phone calls and lots of built-up tension, we met at the hotel on Friday night. You can probably guess what happened. Anyway, yes, we did get to the amusement park the next day and had lots of fun. Around lunch time we went back to the hotel, and the TV was on.

There was this commercial on for some credit card, I think (I don't really remember what it was a commercial for anymore). It was a man and a woman doing lots of date-type things together: dinner, movies, walking on the beach, etc. and eventually they were getting married. At the end, the announcer says: "Don't you wish you could just skip everything and go straight to the honeymoon?" I turned to look at arawn and said, "Please tell me you didn't just have the same thought I did." To which he responded by "whistling innocently," which is to say that he'd had exactly that same thought. And thus it was that we already knew that we wanted to be married, and we'd only met in person the day before and had only been talking to each other for 3-4 weeks. We just KNEW. (At the time, I was 27 and he had just turned 23.)

A couple of weeks after we met in person, I drove up to his house to meet his parents and stayed the weekend. Then a few weeks after that, for Halloween weekend, we drove separately to visit some other friends that had hooked up online. (One was from England and was in the States visiting a friend of arawn's, who had hooked them up together. The guy from England was from the same online game we met on.) That was when he proposed to me (around 2 months after we first started talking), mostly because we'd already started talking about what we wanted to name our children eventually, and he thought "You know, if we're going to discuss this, maybe I ought to actually propose to her!" (I don't remember exactly when I introduced him to my parents. Probably sometime in December.)

We were married in March, around 6-7 months after we'd first started speaking. Because he didn't have a job at the time and the job market was better where I lived, it wasn't hard to decide that he should move down to where I was, and since I was already paying for the apartment, it wasn't like it was any issue for him to move in with me while he looked for a job. He moved in during December, I think.

Like Wonderland, we had a simple Justice of the Peace ceremony in front of a few family members and friends. Primarily we got married that quickly and without a big ceremony because 1) we knew, and didn't see any point in waiting, and 2) my lease was up and I was changing apartments in March, and the practical side of me said that I wanted to do my name and address change all at one time, so let's just get it done.

And our honeymoon? It's the picture you see on the SWmud website with our story - we went to Star Wars Weekends at Walt Disney World in Orlando! =)

Instead of a wedding, we had a big 1st anniversary party to which we invited all of our friends and relatives. I don't really regret not having the big wedding, and several of our friends have since told us that they wish they'd done things the way we did, because the wedding planning was really stressful. We've both said that we're sometimes too practical and logical for our own good, but sharing that in common helps us, actually.


I always thought that it was really weird that my parents got married after having own known each other for 6 months (and this December will be 45 years!!). How could they know that they wanted to spend their lives together that fast?? And then I went and did the same thing!! All I can say is, we just knew.

________________
If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Wow, Liria & Wonderland. You guys are the lucky bunch. Having met online, and marrying differently than most people. Both of you seem to really have wonderful, loving relationships. Do you have any advice for the doubtful?

I'm not planning on marrying yet, I'm waiting until after college because I know I can't handle that much stress. But didn't you ever wonder if you were doing the right thing or not? Whether your parents approved of what you were doing or even if you had found the right one?

________________

Not marrying. Ever. (With marriage comes children and with children.. well... I don't want them for many many reasons.)

But that said, it's good to see that there are people who're married and able to maintain a stable relationship.

1) What makes a marriage "work," in your opinion?

For us, being on the same track and understanding each others goals has been a big part of making it work. anything from monetary goals to the number of children needs to be discussed before you tie the knot. It can be a lot like religion or school, if you never attend to it, it will not work out(that's where wifey/hubby time comes from).


2) What makes a marriage happy?

Normally two happy people do. In a marriage it is not all about yourself anymore, it becomes about you and your spouse(and children if you have any). some people get centered into the idea that they can still look out for themselves, and that doesn't work. A marriage is about two people, caring and loving each other first and then themselves. so instead of doing things for YOU as you are probably used to, it needs to become doing things for him/her/us. Most normal day to day decisions are going to be the same, but when it comes to bigger things, it needs to be discussed with your partner. Quitting a job, starting a new job, spending money(aside from normal day to day, eg. groceries). I never leave the house without letting my partner know where I'm going and telling her that I love her at least twice(because I care about her, not that she requires me to)


3) In your opinion, what places the most pressure on a marriage? (e.g. financial difficulty, relationship with the in-laws, children, less time together, sexual issues, etc.)

All of the above, money matters, children, and time together tend to be the bigger ones. Sex and family are important as well, but are the easiest of the grouping to manage(unless you have really nosey in-laws). the biggest thing to remember is communication and keeping things together. Nothing ruins a relationship quite like secret bank accounts. As i said before, children matters need to be discussed before you get married, how many, how to raise them, how to punish them, how to reward them. Get all the gritty details at least talked over so when it does come down to it theres no confusion.

4) Are you happier married than you were unmarried?

Much happier, I honestly find myself chasing skirts less and following my studies more. Which is beneficial to us both.

5) What are most of your marital arguments about, and how do you solve them? Also, how do you argue? (e.g. shouting, sitting down and discussing things, giving/receiving the silent treatment, throwing things, leaving the house for some time, asking a third party for advice/mediation, etc.)

Usually useless shit, people go through emotional cycles(both MEN and WOMEN) and can get into irrational moods that cause useless and stupid arguments. The biggest advice I can give is never shout or look down upon your partner, and never end the day feeling upset with your partner. Do your best to sit down before bed and talk things over and come to an agreement. If this cant be done, then at the very least be sure to understand why one/both of you are upset and do your best to sort it out.(also, if you are the guy in the relationship, watch every word that comes out of your mouth, it can/will be twisted and used against you in a court of law, not kidding, sorta, maybe about the court of law part.)


6) How long have you been married for, and do you still want to stay married to this person for the rest of your life?

coming up to 2 years here, and yes, I find myself more in love every day. Eventually I'll explode from the swelling mass of love for my partner, but in the meantime I'll enjoy it as best I can.

Also, Im currently 22 years old, will be 23 when my 2 year comes up so were not your typical middle aged/old couple either.

7) Have you or your spouse ever had or ever considered having an affair? If so, why? (Or why not?)

Neither of us had, neither of us have been interested in affairs honestly. Were both human, but also not very sexually driven either. my best advice for this is to remember that you would never be able to look yourself in the mirror or look at your partner the same way after going behind their back. Keep your love where it belongs.


8) What are your regrets in the marriage or in your own conduct in the marriage? (e.g. is there something you feel you could have done better or are working on doing better, or you wish your spouse did better?)

I could be more productive, my spouse works 40-60 hours a week between 2 jobs, and I'm a full time student(which can be an equal workload). But my time is more open and available for the most part and I don't use enough of it to support my partner and our household.

9) What are the best or most cherished moments in your marriage? And what are your fondest memories?

Being able to just lay down with my partner and talk, having heartfelt discussions and truly understanding and loving each other. these are the moments I cherish with my partner and are my fondest memories.

10) Describe your basic feelings towards your spouse - positive, negative, ambivalent, anything you feel.

My spouse is my grounding, keeping me down to earth and alert. without my partner I would be in deep water both emotionally and educationally.

11) Does one spouse end up compromising more often than the other? Why or why not?

We try to keep it even, both opposites to tend to attract, one person can be giving and another taking and help to balance each other, but I have found that over time I try to achieve a balance naturally with my partner, taking less myself and giving more.

12) What has marriage taught you about life and people and relationships in general?

42


I hope this helps, understand I am a 22 year old Caucasian male and she is a 21 year old Caucasian female. I wrote this as sex-neutral as possible because I feel the views apply to both male and females reading it. I love her with all my heart and hope that I can continue to love her til the end of the universe.

For us it was a really random encounter. She started up a conversation with me in one of those old yahoo chat rooms (are those still around anymore?) about anime, and just kept talking. Over a week or two of talking, we then ended up calling and finally speaking on the phone. Within around two weeks we started dating, though neither of us was looking for anything before we 'clicked'

She lived about 4 hours away from me, so maybe a month or so in I got in my car and drove to see her. I picked her up at her door (I told her several times she should have a friend meet as well, she didn't though, and she was lucky I was who I said I was =P), and I meet this cute, little Asian girl (she had been saying she's fat so much over the phone that I thought I was picking up a mack truck...and I was fine with that after we'd connected so well over the phone and net).

Anyway! We walked around an outdoor strip mall, (she nuzzled into me which I loved) and we saw a movie (horrible "You've Got Mail"), had our meal, fooled around a bit, and then I took the long drive home. We almost broke up a month or two later, her Dad didn't want us to see each other (but we decided to meet in secret online, and we were unable to see each other again till she went off to college in the fall).

I went to see her once or twice when she first got into college (and gave her an engagement ring, with no date planned), the third time I brought her to my house for the weekend. When I took her back to campus, I ended up with a call that night and her crying that she didn't want to be away from me anymore (this was the end of October). We talked it over, and I offered to have us married sooner than planned and have her live with me from there on. She of course (as history would now prove) agreed.

Now comes the fun part. I drove the 6 hours to pick her up. She dropped out of school (so she could pick up again where I live), and then before heading back to my house, we decided to stop and tell her parents...(ugh). We went in saying we were married already (and thank goodness for that), and her father was furious. Her father said some things about calling a lawyer and all, but, and the end of the night I left with his daughter (luckily they didn't keep too traditional or they may have disowned their daughter). Two weeks later we were officially married, and even got a phone call from her dad who had calmed down and wanted to talk with us (things were much better after that).

We were married within the same year we met (all happened in 1999 from January to November).

So that's the shortened-as-much-as-I-could version of how we met, and married by meeting online (it's dry and boring I'm sure!) A side note though...for those with daughters, don't tell your daughter not to see someone unless you want them as part of your family!

@ daisukidesuyo, just do what feels right, and, please be careful if you're meeting someone from online. My wife was lucky I was who I said I was, and that she wasn't harmed in any way. I do think it's best to wait it out till an older age than we married, but, you don't want to pass up the right person just because you think you're not ready or too young, ect. We had a bit of regret of marrying early, as we did have some growing pains together (not every day was stable, the beginning few years were a bit rough), but now that we've matured to this point in life, we couldn't enjoy life with anyone else. Our philosophies, morals, beliefs, and even eating habits are all in sync. We compliment each other in different ways as well. (one of us is always good at something the other may struggle in to make up for it).

Enough rambling from me...my pillow calls. (sorry for the novella).