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Post #93226
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Member

3:55 pm, Nov 13 2007
Posts: 452


Well I never tried this but here is a long joke. Please forgive me if it's told before. Don't wanna look through 30+ pages. it may not be that funny. Here goes:

Spoiler (highlight to view)
A priest and a hunter were taking stroll in the forrest, when the hunter suddenly spotted a monkey. He aimed, shot, but missed and cursed loudly: "F*CK, I MISSED!!!"

The preist was offended and said: "If you curse like that our lord will one they strike you with lightning from the skies".
The hunter didn't care much of the priest's blabbering 'cause he had just spotted a squirrel. he aimed, shot, but once again he missed, cursing even louder: "F*CK, I MISSED!!!!"

The priest was getting annoyed and scolded the hunter: "If you curse like that one more time, our lord will certainly strike you with a heavy bolt of lightning!"
The hunter didn't care at all. He had just spotted an elephant on the run. He aimed, shot, but yet again he missed, cursing his heart out: "F*CK, I MISSED!!!!!!!!"

Then the skies opened up and started to rumble loudly. Out of nowhere a giant bolt of lightning struck the priest, and killed him. The hunter was petrified, and shortly after an almighty voice from the heavens uttered: "F*CK, I MISSED!!!"


Perhaps not that funny... it's kinda old so you've probaly heard it before. biggrin cool

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Post #93366
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4:08 am, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 9026


laugh

That of vince is kind of sad.. no

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Post #93381
Member

5:01 am, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 189


American gridiron players when they say rugby players don't wear enough padding. makes you laugh so much. eyes eyes eyes

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Post #93407
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6:30 am, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 635


Vince that was genius I'm still laughing laugh

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Post #93515
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12:31 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1364


Lol @ vince's joke. gjoerulv, nice one, too! :]

Okay, this may be offensive to some, so don't say I didn't warn you:
Achmed, the Dead Terrorist

On a lighter note:
Harry Potter Rap

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Post #93516 - Reply to (#93515) by Layhe
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12:34 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 9026


Quote from Layhe
Okay, this may be offensive to some, so don't say I didn't warn you:
Achmed, the Dead Terrorist

My brother kept nagging me to see this.. >.> It's okay.. laugh Though I have no clue where they get the idea of x virgins.. >.>;;

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Post #93517 - Reply to (#93516) by Dr. Love
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12:36 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1364


Quote from Dr. Love
Quote from Layhe
Okay, this may be offensive to some, so don't say I didn't warn you:
Achmed, the Dead Terrorist

My brother kept nagging me to see this.. >.> It's okay.. laugh Though I have no clue where they get the idea of x virgins.. >.>;;

72 virgins, it's from Koran, I think >.> Although I'm not 100% sure

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Post #93520
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12:41 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 9026


Well, I don't think it's that..

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Post #93539
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1:53 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1199


OMG SO GROSS!!!!
The Fly evolves

Correction....It isn't a fly at all. It's a Cicada

Last edited by vinceasuma at 1:58 pm, Nov 14 2007

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Post #93541 - Reply to (#93539) by vinceasuma
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1:56 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 7784


Quote from vinceasuma
OMG SO GROSS!!!!
The Fly evolves


O_O
Ewww!

Post #93544
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2:08 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1502


reminds me of some pokemon... forgot the name...

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Post #93546 - Reply to (#93544) by moritana
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2:15 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1199


Quote from moritana
reminds me of some pokemon... forgot the name...

Yanma?

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Post #93547 - Reply to (#93517) by Layhe
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Mome Basher
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2:17 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 3380


Quote from Layhe
Quote from Dr. Love
Quote from Layhe
Okay, this may be offensive to some, so don't say I didn't warn you:
Achmed, the Dead Terrorist

My brother kept nagging me to see this.. >.> It's okay.. laugh Though I have no clue where they get the idea of x virgins.. >.>;;

72 virgins, it's from Koran, I think >.> Although I'm not 100% sure

The media keeps saying that and people actually make fun of it. Seriously though, I say it's really funny people actually believe it. I'm not saying the 72 virgins bit is wrong or anything, I'm just saying for those of you who think these men are so horny that they would actually blow themselves up just to get to a harem paradise...I mean....SERIOUSLY!

man1: damn I'm so horny...and there's no chicks around to do!
man2: yeah man. And even if there were, god says it's forbidden
man1: fo shizzle?
man2: fo rizzle ma nizzle yo
man1: well...that just blows me away....
man2: wait a second..."blows me away"!
man1: say what?
man2: we could commit jihad!
man1: erm yeah...every good deed is jihad, I already know that, but how is that gonna get me laid?
man2: dude...i'm talking about killing ourselves, blowing ourselves up to be exact, so that we could get 72 virgins straight after, in heaven!
man1: dude...that plan's DA BOMB!
*hi-fives*

see what I underlined there? That's the real meaning of Jihad; to do a good deed for the sake of god. Dying for the sake of religion is only a tiny part of it.

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Post #93549
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2:21 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 1199


Would you really want 72 virgins? I would trade them in for 3 women that know what they're doing!

Also I heard that Al Queda literally means "the base" or "the home". Like "after a night of drinking the guys returned to al queda to get some rest" or look at the al queda I built in the backyard, it's made of cardboard boxes". So any time the Americans wanna kill some one with brown skin they say they have ties to "Al Queda" and they aren't lying.
This is just something I heard though, I could be wrong.

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Post #93550 - Reply to (#93549) by vinceasuma
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Mome Basher
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2:24 pm, Nov 14 2007
Posts: 3380


Quote from vinceasuma
Would you really want 72 virgins? I would trade them in for 3 women that know what they're doing!

Also I heard that Al Queda literally means "the base" or "the home". Like "after a night of drinking the guys returned to al queda to get some rest" or look at the al queda I built in the backyard, it's made of cardboard boxes". So any time the Americans wanna kill some one with brown skin they say they have ties to "Al Queda" and they aren't lying.
This is just something I heard though, I could be wrong.

Well, I don't know arabic...but wikipedia says its right >_> Though it's spelled Al-Qaeda ;)

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