I dropped a whole carton of eggs. What a waste. >_<

There's a alot...

But one that always comes to mind is something that happened last year. Well I was walking to school like any other day I go to my classes again like any other day, but I felt something was strange a lot of people whispering every time I went into a class and many giggles could be heard here and there. It wasn't until my best friend pulled me out of class and told me I had pigeon poo on my WHITE blouse. I honestly don't know how I didn't realize it sooner...it was a lot. So embarrassing. And the worst part was that I tried whipping it off and that just made it worst.

Let's just say I've hated pigeons with a passion since that day.

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One of my roomies and I were strolling down memory lane last night... and something that happened as a child that I completely forgotten got brought up. I'm pretty sure, at the time, since I was a kid I found it pretty awkward and embarrassing but now... after remembering everthing and actually understanding what everything meant, I find it pretty hilarious.
It was when I was 6... and my mum, "aunt" (close family friend), and her son (my roommate) and I were all at this ice cream parlor. We were sitting down on their patio on the edge (that had no rails or anything) which is a deck that sits about 6 ft off the ground. Minding my own business and eating my ice cream... and I guess I leaned back, thinking that there was something there to prevent me from toppling backwards... and the next thing I know, I'm in the splits on the ground below (remember it's about 6ft from the ground). Ouch. So my mum starts flipping out and I end up at the hospital to get examed. So I'm at the doctors where I'm being examed... which my mum refused to go in to the examination room with me (she didn't deal well with injuries that involved me) so she sent my aunt in. The doctor did his thing - which was probably the most awkward thing - and then explained everything to my aunt. Then after getting dressed again and going out my mum rushes up and asked what the doctor said. And my aunt said, "Well, your daughter is not a virgin anymore." Which made my mum proceed to flip out even more going on about how her baby wasn't a virgin anymore. Of course at the time... I had no idea what any of that meant... but now that I do... it's pretty damn funny.

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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

I don't have any embarrassing moments because I think to myself "Shit happens to everyone". If something happens I act quite natural and ignore the people.

just a few days ago. i was.. uhh.. "distracted" by a couple of female med students while jumping over a blockade..

and.. i landed on my knees instead of my feet..

gah.. they were laughing like a med students shouldn't laugh at a dying patient. and my almost healed wound on my left knee opened back up.

i hate that day. >.>

why do they have to wear those tight white uniforms that made me want to splash them with water over at the pool party in the first place...

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Let's get Kickin' ...whatever that means

maybe when i walked to the sauna after everyone else and thought that nobody else would be there (didn't have glasses on) but noticed that there was someone so i just said "hi" and sat down. after a while i got asked what im doing there, this is when i realized that i was my girlfriend...
i explained that i didn't have time to use the mens turn that was after the ladies and thought that i would come later when nobody else is there but the sauna would be warm still, she had the same idea apparently.
(this was a bit after we started dating, maybe a month or two after)

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In harsh times, the strongest currency is cooperation.

i remember one!
It was a fresh summer afternoon, I was attending summerschool classes.
Anyways, i had always worn these ballet type shoes, they were 5 dollars, cheap, and the bottom base of the shoe was made of cheap hard plastic. So whenever i was on a smooth waxed-floor surface, I would gliiiiide. I had gotten use to the feeling of it, so I knew how to control myself from falling.
So it was time for PE, and on one stupid day, I decided to wear my vans, which had really really good grip on the waxy floor.
I thought "Hey, it'll be allright, I wear vans all the time, I can run in them too."

So we had a relayrace. The one where you pass the baton and run back and forth, passing it back to the person that was lined up behind you. Well, the race was held in a small little gym area.

It was my turn to run.
They pass the baton to me.
I run.
Hey, i was the fastest runner,
passing everyone before me.

Then, i crash right into the wall. Hard.
The grip on my shoes were so good, that when i tried to stop to turn back, i flew due to my momentum of running, and just slammed the wall hard. (both my knees gave in.)

the gym went silent, and you hear "ooohhhhh! Holy crap!"
I could have died, everyone was watching. ;o;

Easy

When I was around, hmmm 3 or 4, we were in florida. My parents made me see the Little Mermaid as a play, and I didn't want to. I was furious. So when we came out, i started to furiously punch my dad's ass.

Turns out i wasn't punching my dad's ass at all, it was some random guy! He turned around and i can actually remember his face. He looked like he was going to thump me. I ran away crying My mum had to apologize for me XD My whole family was roaring with laughter though XD

lol
That reminds me of when I hugged what I thought to be my father's leg.
And it wasn't. It too was a random guy.

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Hrodulf and Bjornolfr, you will not be forgotten.

And if the world were black and white,
you would be my rainbow in shades of grey.

Click 'n Play!

If I had a fantasy self, it'd be a tentacle monster.

When I was in 3rd grade, the teacher told the row leader to always go get the textbooks. I was the row leader for my row. We always raced to get it to see who gets it first. I ran and but I was the last one to get all of the textbooks. When I got up, everybody started laughing. I laughed with them because I thought they were laughing at the fact that I was last. A guy friend (not really, but still a friend) told me to look down. I asked "what?" a couple of times, and finally looked down, only partially, because I was horrified what I would find. Turns out, my dress (I used to go to a Catholic school, so we had to wear uniforms) flipped up and everybody could see my panties (the fabric was hard so it stayed up there until I flipped it down)! Thank God it was a leotard. And just so YOU know, I'm a heavyset girl so it's even more embarrassing. Lol. I was so embarrassed that I wasn't even paying attention and wasn't sitting right the whole time. I still kept my smile though. Lol.

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Another time was just recently (well, not really, lol). I was arguing with somebody (I hate to call him a brother) for pinching my mom (not a little pinch, but it was very hard) and threatened her to say sorry for spitting on his finger (he was disrespectfully pointing it on her face so she did it out of anger). At first, it was just all laughs. But when it got serious, I went crazy. You see, when I get crazy, I say stupid things. I said that he is like a "monkey dancing for money" (?! LOL!) and stuff like that. I was also putting my fingers on his forehead and pushed it and say that I can "do what I want". But I was hysterical because I don't like it when someone touches my mom. To get to the point, I was going crazy and my aunt and uncle was there. Imagine a crazy person on the streets yelling like I did: You would've called the cops! But we were in the car. After we went out of the car, I wanted to fight him (omg!). After I got back to my senses, I was embarrassed for how I acted. Ever since then, I realized I have an anger management issue. It does not go well with how quiet and shy I am.

In my last year of university, a guy I knew from a game on the internet came to visit me. (We'd known each other for a couple of years at that point but had never met in person. I had a huge crush on him at the time, so I was thrilled.) He and I stayed up late into the night, stretched out in the lower bunk, talking very quietly. My roommate was in the top bunk, sleeping.

At one point, we started talking about personal flaws. We were talking about ourselves, but just at the worst point in the conversation my roommate woke up and misinterpreted what she was hearing, thinking we were talking about her and making fun of her under our breath. I felt so bad about it.

She was so upset that she moved out of the room the next day. I did apologize in the morning, but it was damage done at that point. I'm not sure she ever really believed that it was a misunderstanding.

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If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

When I was playing basketball in P.E. class. I was going for a lay-up, but some ass decides to pull down my gym shorts while I'm in mid-air.

Well, not only do they pull down my shorts, they also pull down my boxers, so I'm pretty much naked from the waist down in mid-air with no way to block the view until I get back down.


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I went to the mall to meet my mom once....
there was a woman who had the same jacket as my mom....
well, me and my mom have a bit of an..."agressive" relationship you might call it?
I went right up and whacked her across the head.

....it wasn't my mom

it happened recently at school too. There's a girl who wears the same pants as my friend and as I passed her I whacked her on the shoulder when I realized it wasn't her
I didn't even get the chance to apologize because of the crowd of people behind me that were pushing me


SOMETHING EMBARRASSING OF OTHER PEOPLE:
in grade 4 my music teacher sat on the desk of the boy next to me, farted REALLY loudly, and it turned the pages of his music book
oh god I'm roffling remembering that

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Why hello thar young one >:3

Something like this happened to me too but I was on the other side.

I was waiting in line at my school's cafeteria when some guy hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear, "Hey David (not my name)". I froze up and sloooooowly turned around and just said "You got the wrong person man". I said this without changing my expression and in the most monotone voice I have. The look on the guy's face was priceless. He had the most horrified look on his face and he just mumbled "sorry" and rushed away without getting any food. Luckily, I kinda knew the guy (knew who he was but never talked to him) and David was my friend too, so I knew that they always acted gay towards each other (hell I did it sometimes too ). I laughed like a maniac and still had a grin on my face when I told David what happened like an hour later.

Oh, I've done something similar to that... though it has a two-handed ass grab. We were at a festival and my one buddy went off to get some beer from one of the stands. Figured he'd need some help so I decided to go find him and help. Saw him, snuck up behind him and grabbed his tush and he turns around... and not my buddy. I of course laughed about it and apologized but the guy's girl didn't seem to happy.

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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.