Quote from geanime54
Quote from BoxBox
...
You're not wrong, but even if that's what she meant, it sounds like she could have handled it better/ been more considerate about it, even when talking to someone else. I'd have to really, really hate the person or have some deeply serious issue with them to say "ewwwwwwwww!!" in response to their supposedly genuine feelings. (serious issues like they're asking me out and they're married or in a serious relationship/ or they're way older and I'm underage/ they're going out with an extremely close friend of mine, etc. etc.)
That's just what I think.
Applause for your thoughts. A girl has every right to reject a guy for whatever reasons.
I just think very lowly of a person who proudly displays her insincerity. She talked to someone vulnerable, had him trust and confide in her his insecurities, and gave him advice and words of encouragement as a friend or at least someone trustworthy.
If you think about it, attractiveness is a very sensitive issue for many people, and it probably took him much effort to admit to anyone that he had issues.
Her telling me about it and laughing about the ordeal showed to me that not only is she an insincere person (her words of encouragement and/or friendship are worthless), but that she is also a poor judge of character. Did she actually think I would be impressed by that story? That's annoying and insulting.
What goes around comes around. I ended up being insincere to her, because I can only behave superficially to superficial people. Didn't bother to point out her character flaws. Oddly enough, she thought I was a friend because I was in her "social circle" (I belonged to every circle). If I was more sincere towards her, I would have told her outright that I wasn't her friend and why I wasn't.
I found out a couple years ago that, surely enough as I thought might happen, over the years she got dumped by numerous different people. Being a poor judge of character took its toll on her. She may have been passably physically attractive before, but her character flaws weighed down on her and she's now a weathered, single mother train wreck.
Only now do I actually pity her, having taken into consideration the pain she went through.. But all I could say to her honestly was, "Heh, you really know how to pick them."
Quote from ShadowSakura
Quote from N0x_
People who are annoying to me:
Well, that's easy.
Girls who cry about ugly guys. If you don't like them, then just reject them seriously. No need to bitch about their efforts.
well if they are just ugly, i don´t hate them. a know some people which looks are below average, but the have a great personality. But if they are sexuell harassing someone like ass-groping and calling girls with stupid nicknames like honey, darling and such (i tried to put it in english terms, but the words he uses are much to intimate). and the thing that it would be better if at least handsome people would be perverts isn´t because of the eye-candy, but you know why they have a reason the be overconfident
I see that I've touched a nerve.
I won't judge you, since I don't know you. I don't know who this guy is either. You have perfectly legitimate reasons to find him annoying and/or unattractive.
Admittedly, parts of what you and others wrote brought up memories I've had of stupid girls, but that doesn't mean I'll automatically assume you are the same.
One thing I will point out, since I have nothing against you personally and only wish you the best, is this:
It's odd to me that you would think "
at least handsome, would-be perverts have a reason to be confident"... but someone who gets good grades (according to yourself) but is physically unattractive has absolutely no reason to feel confident.
Having confidence doesn't require permission. Having confidence and being able to project yourself or at least practice doing so is key to the highest levels of success in this world, and I wouldn't fault ANYONE for trying.
---
Tangential note for people interested:Everyone knows that intelligence correlates with success.
Of
physical attributes that correlate to both attractiveness and success:
Height for men.
Weight for women.
The above two are the most objective measures of attractiveness. The correlation described in Freakonomics and some other studies was something to the effect of 1000 US dollars per inch more of height for men or per 5 lbs or so less of weight for women. Basically, taller men and skinnier women tend to be more successful.
The correlation was stronger for childhood height/weight (which usually translates to adult height/weight anyway), implying that this had a lot to do with childhood experience and
confidence.
For most of the exceptions/outliers to this correlation that I've witnessed in my life are people intelligent enough to be "aware" and break out of their insecurities and confidently project themselves without fear.
I strongly encourage everyone to find more confidence in himself/herself, and not let superficial critics get in the way.
Last edited by N0x_ at 2:31 am, Jan 20 2011
