Since you are Asian, I can't say I am surprised. I am totally used to my parents' racism, sexism, anti-gay views, and opinionated mindsets. But I don't pay attention to them.

Edit: my parents aren't really racist towards other asians, just white people and black people.

Last edited by Pikapu at 11:45 am, Dec 28 2011

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Best advice this whole thread. I just hope you didn't mean just completely ignore their existence.

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Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

Lol, nah. Meant I don't pay any mind to their snark comments. Hmmm... Not sure if snark can be used as an adjective, but you catch my drift.

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I'm asian as well. I find that the demographic most racist against asians is....other asians perhaps it's because they're the ones that are more aware of the difference and like to stress their differences. But no matter the ethnicity, disdain for other groups based on things that happened in their history will remain indefinitely. Even when our ancestors are long gone, their hatred is spread through textbooks and directly to us, their descendants. I'm Korean and Chinese, both have a well-known dislike for the Japanese, and since I identify as Korean and Chinese, it is easy for me to feel the sting when hearing about how my people were treated by them. I'm American too, so visiting the sight of Pearl Harbor was an intense moment. Hate is irrational, hate is unacceptable, hate is stubborn, hate is vile, but hate is also...understandable.

So, in other words, you find your parents "traditional". lol

But perhaps you should be trying to take an impartial view on this. Your parents saw and experienced a world much different than yours. To assume your parents would have the same ideals and views would be to assume they lived through a same experience which is undoubtedly false. (I forget who theorized experience -> views... anyway...)

The views of your grandparents may be far worse as they're the first hand witnesses to the world wars.
http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/nrsc9/til_wwi i_japan_killed_4_million_more_people_than/

Another reason for the largely different views of germany vs japan from a asian view is that other asians were attacked by japan, not germany. A distant atrocity is much less significant than a local one. To top it off, germans apologized and shunned their acts during the world wars. Japan on the other hand still deny that they ever committed genocide and never apologized for their actions. While the nazi party lost their power, the Japanese aristocrats and the wealthy during the world war never lost theirs and are still the "rich an powerful" among not just japan but surrounding countries as well. So the hate lingers with much more ease.

All the current generation sees from Japan is pretty anime pictures. All the past generation saw from japan was blood.

And... I'll just leave it there... before people think I'm a racist/homophobic...

Btw, your parents may be just as shocked to find your views as you found yours. You are right -- that it's wrong to be a racist and a homophobic, but without knowing why your parents became who they are, you're really not going to budge a several decades of life experiences.

Last edited by Grumpy at 2:26 am, Dec 27 2011

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The Company
[b]Batoto

Here's a List of war apology statements issued by Japan, taken from the reddit page you linked.

just to be a fly in your ointment, they have also have history of refuting their deeds during the war and revising history in their favor. Mainly older high ranking ultra nationalists though they may be. so you cans see where people get the notion Japan doesn't give two squirts about what they've done in the past.

whoa man

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Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

That's the point. Even the worst documented ones like Nanking are never mentioned and denied. There's no genocide there, there's no war crimes. There are war apologies. All the formal apologies comes purely through peace treaties and rest are some random politician meetings. The apologies do not specify and are very broad like... I'm sorry for killing you... I'm sorry for having a war... Obviously they won't deny that they had a war and lost.

I have a (bit distant) relative (passed away now) who was in the "comfort women" which they deny ever existed. How could I possibly go up to her and say "you shouldn't be a racist against the Japanese"? Or to any of her close relatives? I guess I'm kinda leading this topic a stray, but I'm saying that racism (or any other forms of group profiling) are not necessarily irrational nor is it something you can easily convince.

It's obviously wrong to just hate all japanese for what was done during the world wars or etc. But scars will take a long time to heal. So, you can't just say, racism is irrational, be rational and start loving them. It just doesn't work like that. If you want your parents to be less of a racist (or w/e), let them understand why you see it the way you see it and you should at least try to see why they see things the way they see it.

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The Company
[b]Batoto

Well, it is in the nature of people to think in generalities. The face that your parents aren't being very understanding of others just means that they are accepting their own narrow-mindedness without having compassion with large groups of other people. They don't care about those people, is what they are saying, cause they don't need to. If they actually think those things are true for every individual, then that is sort of different. That means that they don't think things through very well, cause it is obvious that there are always exceptions to every generality.

Same here. I'd used to get all confrontational about it, but all that happened was I earned myself a beating. The only thing I'm grateful for is the fact they didn't try to impose their views on me - we just have differing attitudes and upbringings.

Hate is no rational IMO. Having enemies, beating them, even killing them, that can be rational, but not hating them. The rational thing is understand others POV, as you can learn a lot from them, but hating doesn't teach you nothing, makes you hotblooded, useless for you, other people can use your hate to make you do things they want you to do. If it doesn't produce nothing useful it can't be rational in my book. But I agree it's understandable some people hating other people because sh!t happened, that doesn't make hate rational.

You could just remind them all of the horrible things Chinese people and Americans have done... For example currently China sends N Koreans that escape back to NK, where they are tortured and often killed for escaping, and Americans are responsible for the largest genocide ever recorded (or rather, the people coming to America, our ancestors).

Or when he's talking just say "*cough* Great Leap Forward *cough*"

Be happy at the fact that you can recognize it and move on. Knowing which battles to fight and which ones to avoid is part of being a balanced person. (Course, sometimes going into a battle knowing you're going to lose can sometimes be just as or even more important than winning a battle.)

Hello there.
I hardly ever post on MU but i have been visiting the website and forum for more than a year.
I am a French girl with a French dad and a Cambodian mom, and I don't exactly know where you are from. I am 17 too.
I know it has been about two weeks you posted this topic, but I wanted to tell you this.
Your parents may be narrow-minded, say things you totally don't agree with, and even hurt you by doing so, but that doesn't mean they actually don't like you.
Maybe what your father said was because of his "closed" (sorry, I am not sure this can be said in english, but I guess you get the idea) education, and also because of the widespread homophobia where you live.

I had the chance of having tolerant parents about homosexuality. My older sister is bisexual and has been going out with other girls for a few years now, and althought my mother is against it, she still treat her girlfriend well, same goes for my older brother. The rest of my family, including grandmother and father are okay with it, probably because they only want their daughter or grandaughter's happiness, regardless of sexual orientation. As for me, intolerance, especially racism and homophobia are things I hate the most.

So..., I don't think I have a lot of good advices to tell you, since most of them have already been told. Anyway, not approving someone else's doctrine doesn't mean going against them. Humans are supposed to coexist by accepting other people's thoughts. I you parents understand this, then it should be okay. If they don't, er...

Finally, I thing you should be proud of being an open-minded person. Think that hate only engender hate. Hate is made of fear of the other and the things we don't know. Homophobic person are often people, especially men, who actually fear of becoming homosexual, and so are not sure of their own sexual orientation.They mustn't know a lot of LGBT and have a lot of prejudice due to society against those unknown people. They are people who should be pitied more than hated. When you have child, make sure they are taught about tolerance, so that they do not follow your parents's path.

That is all I have to say. It's the first time I write a post this long in english. I apologise if I made any mistake.

You don´t need to be highly educated to be smart, intelligent and open minded I know professors who are friggin´ idiots in life and i really don´t know how they can teach others when they´re so damn stupid (one woman with a PHD that i know does not flush the toilet after taking a dump cuz she lives alone and it doesn´t bother her that theres poo in the toilet, WTF?? other one who is a doctor of pedagogy, can´t handle her two little sons who are little monsters)

My mom also finished only elementary school and she teached me a lot, was always my greatest source of wisdom.