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What manga has taught me about Japanese culture...

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Post #518103 - Reply to (#518089) by Badkarma
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I have a big

6:59 pm, Jan 19 2012
Posts: 1028

Quote from Badkarma
- In Japan, it's polite to vehemently deny the question "Did you see them?" when asked by a girl. Even if highly unlikely forces of gravity willed you to accidentally plow your face point-blank into her vagina, DENY IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT.
    +Actually, there is no right answer. You'll be promptly smote, regardless.

I loled. Thank you, Sir.

I also appreciate the fact that 99% of girls under the age of 25 will wear miniskirts and dresses 100% of the time. Even in winter!

Quote from jake174
-It's ok if you're a girl, to grab another girls large breasts while at a hot spring.

This I also find interesting. Guys don't go around grabbing each other's junk, so this must be a girl thing.

Post #518125
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0n3 Winged

9:41 pm, Jan 19 2012
Posts: 603

A lot of Japanese guys skilfully trip to grab boob...

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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Post #518206
user avatar

2:21 am, Jan 20 2012
Posts: 151

In SHOUJO manga:

No shoujo heroine will ever end up with, or even look at, any man who is not at least 2 heads taller than her;

...ditto any man who is not as pretty as she is or more so;

...ditto any man who has visible musculature.

Men, once you've got a woman, don't treat her nice! Abuse her and she'll love you. Your general meaness will make your few moments of kindness to her all the more precious in her eyes.

In SHOUNEN manga:

All boys except "players" will go into severe maidenly withdrawal whenever a girl show any interest in sex...or even kissing.

Boys shown even a glimpse of any of a girl's girly parts will tremble or flap their arms in consternation...kind of like the girl would do upon inadvertently showing same elsewhere in the world.

It is perfectly normal for a teenage boy and girl to date for months after a "confession" without kissing, and for any couple of any age up into their 20s to go for years without having sex....

which is one reason why 30 year old male virgin males are common in Japan..., but, on the other hand,

very shortly after any girl becomes involved with (or even just "near") a true male "player" she will flop on her back for him without even being asked.

Any interest in any aspect of sex, overt or merely guessed-at, by a teen boy will immediately be loudly labeled "perversion" by any teen girls who happen to be in the vicinity, but...

it is very common for teen girls to fall in love with men 10 to 20 years older than them, and in such cases his interest in her is in her eyes always true love, and never perversion... and, finally,

once girls grow up and become being moms they always know their teen sons have tons of pornography hidden in their rooms, and it doesn't bother them at all.

In both shoujo and shounen manga:

There are NO birth control pills in Japan. Don't even bother asking.

Post #518330
user avatar

9:06 pm, Jan 20 2012
Posts: 497

Gertrud and Maria/Mariya are perfectly fine names for boys.

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Post #518375

12:53 am, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 272

- in japan you lose your superhuman powers when turning into an a result there are always schoolchildren who are stronger,smarter and blessed with more knowledge and wisdom than adults

-the fate of the world always rests on the shoulders of japan. sadistic brother fate mostly picks on children and idiots in this respect

-bathrooms don't have locks

-every school has some strange members take their "profession" really serious while being better than all professionals,plain adults...and so on

-powerful delinquents and/or big violent gangs are found everywhere.just why don't the media tell us about the civil war in japan?

-the laws of nature can't stand against your will and conviction.anything is possible(with the right motivation).

-pulling an all-nighter before a test isn't uncommon because japanese won't be dead tired and have therefore no concentration-problems. if there is a rare exception being dead tired is still better than knownig a bit less since you can remember everything you did in such a magic night perfectly well, even in case you are dumb and deaf while haven't studied the whole time before the test

Last edited by jelzin89 at 11:30 pm, Jan 21

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Post #518383
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1:38 am, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 701

I love this thread.

- Saying lame/cheesy lines at the right moments will lead you to coolness and earn you popularity.
- After someone says something(like the above), their name is uttered right after by someone whom they were talking to.

- Japanese people like to think aloud.

- Gender/Age cannot be absolutely based on appearance alone.

- Promises are important, especially those made in your childhood.

Last edited by FormX at 3:01 am, Jan 21

"I'll shut your mouth~~~~~ with mine~~~"

Post #518388
user avatar

2:14 am, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 318

- condoms and birth control are not only nonexistent, but also irrelevant
- no matter how scrawny someone is they have superhuman strength
- all flat-chested females will grow a cup or two when wearing a bikini
- the student counsel has more authority than the government

Last edited by neonkitty at 11:59 pm, Jan 13

Post #518404
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I have a big

4:01 am, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 1028

How about some that are actually true? (Maybe?)

- People always drink milk after a bath.
- Shoving leek/spring onion up your ass is a cure for the common cold. Also known as my Saturday night.
- Japanese people rarely eat sushi.

Ok that was boring. Now more of the good stuff:

- All Japanese people love red bean paste.
- 9 out of 10 Japanese parents are irresponsible deadbeats who a) can't hold down a job, b) are reclusive shut-ins, or c) disappear or otherwise leave the country never to be heard from again.
- The hottest teacher at a school is always the school nurse. The school nurse is never a dude.

Post #518471
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insomniac Kagehime

11:45 am, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 2706

- Your parents want to marry you of while you are still in high school
- People often turn into deformed figures
- japanese people can see perfectly fine even if they have their eyes closed al the time
- training is allway inhuman
- girl´s eyes are always covering half of her face
- being blond and blue eyed makes you special, but pink or silver are perfectly fine. dark blonde doesn´t exist
- japanese actors are always very good
-japanese girls only have menstruation when they´ll get pregnant soon
- every dubious person can become a teacher
- a normal girl can become insanely strong if angered
- beware of the smiling ones
- children can walk freely around on murder scenes
- there are no psychologists in japan

Last edited by ShadowSakura at 11:55 am, Jan 21

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currently reading: Nyotai-ka
please support me
Post #518572 - Reply to (#518404) by sunder

11:57 pm, Jan 21 2012
Posts: 272

Quote from sunder
How about some that are actually true? (Maybe?)

- People always drink milk after a bath.

actually around 90% of all asians can't stomach milk but maybe that doesn't matter because we only see those with superhuman abilities which,of course, aren't affected

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Post #518579
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Lawless Resolute

12:49 am, Jan 22 2012
Posts: 138

Every girl in japan is flawless and has either gigantic or non-existent boobs, no in-between must be one or the other.
The most poplar guy will fall for the girl with the least self-esteem.
The student counsel is all powerful and usually corrupt.
Bad things happen to people who sit in the window seats.

"I don't hate people, I just feel better when they're not around."

Bum bum be dum bum bum be dum dum

"Don't you fly?"
Post #518585
user avatar

1:28 am, Jan 22 2012
Posts: 56

- little kids are fine even after seeing hundreds of dead people
- there are always "princes" in high school and every girl likes them
- peolpe with glasses are only pretty if they take them of
- there are no self-confident girl
- guys get nosebleeds all the time

Post #518592
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An F to judge M!

2:30 am, Jan 22 2012
Posts: 383

Quote from Schneefloeckchen
- people with glasses are only pretty if they take them off

Yea, that always bugged me too. Good-looking people are good-looking people and no amount of corrective eye wear should hider this fact. The whole glasses=ugly mentality that some manga portray is somewhat irritating.

- Japanese firework shows have no 'set in stone' start-time. But don't worry - the fireworks will begin the very instant your date musters up the courage to confess their love.

- Mistaking a pants-wearing girl with short-hair for a man is commonplace in Japan. However, upon discovering her true gender, she will spontaneously sprout a pair of breasts, become 50% curvier, have make-up on, and you will NEVER see her wearing pants again. I call this the Anju Rule.

- Band-aids heal everything.

- Swords are the weapon of choice in Japan. This has nothing to do with strict gun laws, mind you. Rather, guns are weak, predictable weapons that are easily dodged because they can only be fired in a straight line.

Post #520017
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Zombie Porn!

4:52 am, Jan 30 2012
Posts: 334

The only kinds of sicknesses are violent ones that cause you to faint and be nursed back to health by your significant other.

[img][/img] A senpai tried to violate me after hearing about my transfer. BUT I RAPED HIM INSTEAD.
Post #520021
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5:31 am, Jan 30 2012
Posts: 97

-Any woman riding a train is almost guaranteed to get molested
-If you want to see girls panties the wind will blow up their skirts at just the right moment
-If your head collides with another persons head you will switch bodies
-The fate of the world is always in the hands of someone 16 or younger
-Japanese girls can either cook extremely well or bad enough to send you to the hospital
-It is mandatory for men to peek into the womens side of an onsen
-If a girl falls over on you no matter which way you were facing she will always end up sitting on your face
-If you go to an all boys/girls school half of the students are gay/lesbians
-If you see a japanese girl naked she will make you take responsibility and marry her
-Promises made as children are binding contracts for the rest of your life
-The police are too incompetent to solve crimes and must get the assistance of children
-All mothers leave messages in their children's bentos
-If you are popular your shoe box will be filled with love letters that spill all over the floor
-All of the creepiest looking people are otaku/fujoshi
-It is customary for women to air dry their panties to make it easier for stalkers to steal them
-Parents leave their children to live alone in Japan while they work overseas

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