I find polygamy to be a bit weird, and I really don't understand the reasoning behind it.

I'm polyamorous, though, in the sense that I do not commit to one single woman (With three billion out there? I don't think so.) and spend time with several, doing all kinds of relationshippy things apart from having sex, but I'm not in a relationship with any of them. They're free to see other people, and so am I.

I don't get why everyone's so focused on being in a relationship. The desperation of being in one is a clear sign that you're not supposed to be in one. Co-dependency. A relationship only works with two people fully content with being alone/independent.

I think you don't quite understand what polyamorous means. If you're not in a relationship with any of them, you are not polyamorous. What you are describing is friendship (friendship with anyone is pretty much everything a romantic relationship is minus sexual stuff). As for your last point, not everyone goes into a relationship because they are desperate for codepence. That's actually pretty dysfunctional and destined to fail.

Anyway on topic: I am not personally ok with polygamy or polyamory but if other people want to do it and I'm not involved then I don't care. Uh, but I don't think polygamy should be legalized or anything simply because of how complictated it makes everything (imagine a divorce involving more than 2 people, especially with kids).

Not so hot about polygamy. It's main function was, in the old days, for women to have more children so the line would continue. Marriage has changed, and is no longer about just making babies (although.... that's an important part) it is also about love, and marrying the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I'm not too fond of Polyamory either, that must be exhausting......
I think gay marriage should be legal, though. It's not like polygamy.It is a commited relationship between two people who would like to legalize that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Ugh, this remind me of my years in catholic school.

Last edited by Tsubaki21 at 4:06 pm, Feb 23 2010

I confess to playing the field. I know it's totally taboo for a girl but I don't hop into bed with every tom, dick and harry so can't see the problem with trying before buying. Basically if the opportunity arises I will date several guys at once and if I particularly like one I'll then properly go out with them. I'm always completely honest about it with the guys and since I'm not in the market for a boyfriend right now, not enough time to deal with one, I make sure any guys knows this from the get go. I only have one relationship going on atm, we're both totally fine with it being very casual, 'friend with benefits' type and we take precautions. We also know that neither has a claim on the other and when not together on a date we are each free to do as we wish.

When I choose to settle I will settle but I'm not ready to tie myself down atm so I'm not against people having several relationships as long as no one is being decieved. It's just cruel to toy with people's emotions like that. Naturally I'm faithful when in a relationship and expect the same of my boyfriend otherwise why bother being together like that. I couldn't have a serious relationship with more than one person, if I can't stay faithful I obviously don't love them enough and vice versa.

Since someone mention the effect of age I'll add that I'm 21, 3rd year uni student with no idea which part of the planet I'll be in this time next year. Just so you understand my reluctance to get serious.

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There was a lapse in language-skills. What I meant was that I do all that other stuff AS WELL AS fuck their brains out.

Not everyone does, but I wouldn't say that more than a small percentage of relationships are actually based on what they say it is (which is often "love"). Convienience, sexual appetite and the big one: lacking something in their own self - respect, esteem, etc.

Because relationships do fail. (Real life isn't based on fiction-instilled notions of everlasting love and social constructions about how monogamy is the proper way to live.) This is not only attributed to the fact that one or both parties easily could've gotten the same emotions from A LOT of other people, but also because no candle is supposed to burn forever. It's about how bright it shines when it's lit. I've got several friends that are romantically involved, but there's only a very select few of these relationships that I see as real. The difference is in the strength of character of those involved and the abundance they have the ability to choose from.

But in the end, it's about the reality you choose to live in. To each his own.

im muslim so im used to the idea of polygamy. none of my close family have any polygamic relationships - its not for everyone. its not simple and easy. one can only imagine how many more responsibilities one wil then have!

i've never really been in love so i can only imagine thats its quite a strong feeling! The best literature out there deal with love because its such a strong and intoxicating emotion. it is possible for 1 to love more than 1 person. But,in society, there has and still is a big difference between the status of wife and mistress. A mistress will face shame and be ostracized. The mistress's children are also viewed differently than the wife's children. its unfair for her to be treated and made to be inferior just for loving someone. So i totally accept and feel that polygamy should be legalised. my religion has rules though for when a man has more than one wife which ensure and stress that he treat all equally!

btw da president of my country, Jacob Zuma is a polygamist, has 5 wives and 20 children. polyamory is extremely wide spread amongst the african tribes.

I don't like the idea of both Polygamy and Polyamory but I'm not going to care if people around me are doing it, but it is pretty hard to ignore it all together. I'm probably spouting liquid hate from my eyes right now as I'm reading these comments on people practicing polyamory but I'm not going to lash out at you, I've just been brought up to be very traditional and old fashioned. It just goes against my values that have be constructed from the first 20years of my life and at this point in time it is very hard for me change these values since they are a huge part of what I am today. Call me arrogant but I think its integrity.

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It's true, but in tribes polygamy has its uses.
My aunt was telling me how in Tanzania one man would have one wife to take care of a certain amount of livestock. When the livestock multiplied to a level that wife couldn't take care of he would get another wife. Now that's economic!

But here in capitalist Americas, people get married for love so that doesn't work the same.

When it comes down to it, marriages should be dealt with by each individual church and should be completely separated from state. Or, they should be two different things. I have no real idea about how it would work but it would be something to look into.

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to each their own. if a person believes they can have a few sexual partners in a loving relationship at once, let them have it. as long as everyone agrees, and no hard feelings develop, i see no reason why a woman cant have a few husbands who know of eachother and approve, same thing about men with wives who agree and approve.

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There is an Asian culture that takes the practice opposite (it's been a while since my anthropology class, so I may be a bit off on facts, though I think I'm accurate). In the region, because land is scarce, and because of that the families haven't wanted to break up the land further, a woman marries into the family on the land. So 2-3 brothers would share the same wife who would move in with them on the family plot. Interesting way to keep population down a bit though, and to keep land from being split up every generation to the point it would not feed the families anymore.

I don't find anything wrong with them myself, just not something I'd practice. Taking care of one wife takes quite a bit of effort for me as it is, I wouldn't want another =p

I don't know why some people go and have more than one lover at a time when they know it is going to cause them trouble later. The way I see it, if you want more than one lover at a time, then change your profession to a 'street' profession, if you know what I mean. You want romance, find ONE person. If that one person isn't enough, dump them and look for someone you can give ALL your love to.

@Wonderland: I agree that practice isn't too bad either, but that is done out of necessity. People who choose to have more than one lover because they feel one isn't enough need to get some relationship counciling. I also agree with the last part of your post. Why have two women you can't satisfy? That just means twice the yelling and nagging about how lousy you are. My guess is that polygamists are all masochists.

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I wonder how you would feel about more than one husband then At least in general the stereotype is that men are easier to satisfy (i think it's true). Wouldn't it be useful then to have more than one husband if everyone can get along?

Polyamory sounds hot. Threesomes ftw.

personally, polygamy would be too much for me to handle, and the thought of having, like, 50 children scares the shit out of me.

bt if some people are happy that way, why not?
i think we have to start keeping our noses and politics out of people private lives, its not like gays ask you to be gay, so let them do whatever makes them happy

I do not accept. Isn't one person enough?

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