Quote from x0mbiec0rp

Quote from LunaMay

Okay I have two questions, and maybe something similar has been asked but oh well...

1- Why do guys insist that they are looking for a serious relationship, something new, a girl who is willing to commit...but then when you give them a chance the next day or so, they are with someone else who is nothing like what they say they are and appear to be the easiest girl around? Um like wtf? Are we suppose to take you seriously when you make such a huge leap >:-(

This question has been annoying me for a while now. First of all, this lacks context. Was this guy saying these things in idle conversation, or was he asking you out? If the first is the case, then you're probably misinterpreting. Basically, the guy never said he was looking for a girl who was serious and is less interested in sleeping with him. He said he was looking for a relationship. That probably means that he's grown tired of trying to meet girls at clubs, bars, parties, etc and seal the deal, and instead would like to maintain a relationship with a girl he could sleep with regularly by just giving her regular attention. You probably misinterpreted this to mean a relationship with a girl he could settle down with, raise a family with, bring home to mother. In fact, having a relationship says very little about the girl in question.

The other possibility is that he was trying to ask you out, saying he was looking for a serious relationship to convince you that you should take a risk on him, and then you, looking at his track record, rejected him. After this, he links up with a slut. You say he should have continued looking for a serious girl, and then you'd consider giving him a chance? What the heck is that? Does dating work on a credit limit? You date a certain type of girl long enough and then you can upgrade your "credit limit" for a better girl? Well, for now, I'll just say I hope not.

Or she could be asking, you know, in general?

As for your second paragraph, you know that if someone asks you out, you don't always give an answer right away right? Just cause you answer them a few days later doesn't mean you rejected them. Anyway, my point is that instead of assuming (you know what they say about assuming...) that there are only two options here, you could just ask her for the specifics if it bothers you so much.

@x0mbiec0rp- um yeah I think you're just making assumptions here. I was asking in general because it had happened to me before. As for your second paragraph you really shouldn't assume that I would reject someone based on past relationships, I think I've made that clear in previous posts.

But to clear up any misconception this is why I asked-
During high school I liked a guy who also happened to like me. I make it a rule to always get to know a person better before jumping into a real relationship. I told him that if he really was serious that I'd like to get to know him better, which he was fine with. I made it perfectly clear that I was always looking for a serious relationship and he said he was too, we agreed not to see other people while getting to know each other. After 2 months of talking, I thought it would be great if it would be the same once we were official. He official asked me out about a week later, and I decided to think about it for a few days ( I wouldn't like jumping into things even if I was sure of it.) Three days later I replied and said yes, he said he was sorry he met someone else. I was crushed for a few days but came to the conclusion that maybe he had lost interest and found someone he really liked while we were getting to know each other. Two days later I learned that the girl he said he had found was actually a fellow classmate who was known as the school slut for various reasons.

I guess he was never really serious and I was taken for a fool. That's why I wondered if some guys actually say they are looking for something, say 'serious' but in the end turn their backs. But as Chaos previously stated guys like looking for other options even if they have their mind already set on one.

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Quote from LunaMay

But as Chaos previously stated guys like looking for other options even if they have their mind already set on one.

Seriously, I don't really think that is right.

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If I were you I wouldn't take Chaos' words as fact or majority opinion. I rarely agree with him myself.

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You should totally Join Vagrant Scans. No experience necessary.

You should also totally read this cool blog.

@LunaMay: I almost wonder if you didn't hurt him by not giving him a response closer to when he asked you. Three days is a long time to wait to hear back from someone. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he felt rejected that it took you so long after you'd been getting to know him for 2 months.

If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Just like a few ppl have already said I don't understand how a guys is supposed to know he likes someone. If you never dated in your entire life and the most important relationship you have been in has been mere association what can you do to find out if you like the person in question? It's like how can you like something without ever having liked something similar before. You never had the same feelings so in what way would you know the feelings you had were lust or true "feelings?" 😢

I know its pretty confusing but can someone elaborate on this ideas

😁 😁 😁 😁 😁

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Quote from Pirate1019

If I were you I wouldn't take Chaos' words as fact or majority opinion. I rarely agree with him myself.

🤣 You may be right. I just thought that was one of the few times that his comment seemed right. But I didn't mean to say his words were basic facts, he clearly stated that some guys were like that not all. Of course he would probably disregard his comment completely and say otherwise.

Quote from Liria

@LunaMay: I almost wonder if you didn't hurt him by not giving him a response closer to when he asked you. Three days is a long time to wait to hear back from someone. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he felt rejected that it took you so long after you'd been getting to know him for 2 months.

I highly doubt that since he, himself told me to take a few days to think about it because he didn't want to seem like he was pressuring me. I was actually quick in giving him a reply. Maybe it was too late though.

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Quote from LunaMay

I highly doubt that since he, himself told me to take a few days to think about it because he didn't want to seem like he was pressuring me. I was actually quick in giving him a reply. Maybe it was too late though.

Nah, now he just sounds fickle, or like he wanted something he didn't think he was going to get from you. (Hence the woman he switched to.)

The problem with having conversations like these is that there is no universal truth to any of it. Once you figure out one person, that's fine, but you can't apply the same methods and/or logic to anyone else, because everyone is different. That goes for personality as well as physicality. (What one person likes sexually is entirely different from what the next enjoys.)

This is why guys says women are hard to understand, and vice versa. You can't presume that what worked before will work again.

If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Quote from LunaMay

@x0mbiec0rp- um yeah I think you're just making assumptions here. I was asking in general because it had happened to me before.

Yes. I was making assumptions. Lack of sufficient data forced me to suppose possible scenarios. However, you are not asking "in general". In fact, asking in general is an insult to the opposite gender as a whole. You're assuming men lack some sort of individuality and that you can project the actions of one onto the whole. You wouldn't want men doing that towards women, right? You don't necessarily have anything in common with someone else just because you're both women, after all. You further disproved that you weren't asking "in general" when you actually gave the example. Because that is clearly what you were asking about.

As to why he would start going out with someone else in the example indicated? You're clearly being unreasonable, is why. Two months lacking an official dating status to get to know someone is silly, as he is left hanging without a response for a long time. You've also asked him to be friends, a common rejection which might lead him to believe you were being evasive.

Also, before getting offended by my post, keep in mind that you've misrepresented the situation, (You've said he guy was looking for a serious relationship. He was looking to go out with you, then gave up because he wasn't sure you'd ever make a decision. Not the same) and I'm simply trying to provide you an answer without proper information.

Quote from LunaMay

as Chaos previously stated guys like looking for other options even if they have their mind already set on one.

Although chaos may say something that clicks with what you are prone to believe about guys in the first place, that doesn't make it true. His overgeneralized answer is that men are just always after girls? No, the boy in question, after waiting for a LONG time to get an answer, then being told to wait MORE was just moving onto a girl who didn't make him wait for god knows how long just to move into a relationship where you would continue to slowly make up your mind (I should remind you that all these character assessments could be made while you were dating. Part of dating is getting to know the other person. It's not all just making out and sexing from the point you say yes).

Quote from LunaMay

a fellow classmate who was known as the school slut for various reasons

This is just a mean thing to say.

This signature was recovered from Hades to serve in my rotting armies.

Quote from LunaMay

But as Chaos previously stated guys like looking for other options even if they have their mind already set on one.

I did?

You have to tell me where because I don't remember >_>

You playing with players? Guys willing to commit? where? the ones that are looking for a serious relationship are not THAT many and some players use this to their advantage, there are only 3 kind of guys that think about commitment: The inexperienced ones that don't know Hack shit about anything (highly religious guys fit very well in here), the ones that already have experience, but are looking for something else, and the others...

The others = the ones that don't fit in neither of the 2 main groups.

Oh yeah, I am saying commitment = the road to marriage... if you mean to be loyal to a single girlfriend that is a complete different matter, men can be loyal, but remember we have a hunter genes and some just can't stop hunting.

That is my answer to your question -_-

Unless you are talking about that Joke about the store that sells husbands?

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Quote from x0mbiec0rp

Yes. I was making assumptions. Lack of sufficient data forced me to suppose possible scenarios. However, you are not asking "in general". In fact, asking in general is an insult to the opposite gender as a whole. You're assuming men lack some sort of individuality and that you can project the actions of one onto the whole. You wouldn't want men doing that towards women, right? You don't necessarily have anything in common with someone else just because you're both women, after all. You further disproved that you weren't asking "in general" when you actually gave the example. Because that is clearly what you were asking about.

Didn't read the rest of your huge wall of text, nor the last few posts from other people but just wanted to point this out.

Lack of sufficient data actually didn't force you to do anything. Again, you can ask someone to clarify before being "forced" to make assumptions.

Also, if you haven't noticed, throughout this entire thread, people ask questions about the other gender IN GENERAL and they receive answers that often show that it varies from person to person. That's kinda the point of this thread - to clear up misconceptions that one gender has over the other. I'm not sure why you found that post particularly offensive (or maybe you posted similar responses and I didn't see it) but it's hardly unique to this thread.

Anyway, let's all move on yeah? I don't wanna see this thread closed since it's one of my favorite threads on here. If anyone has more responses, it might be better to just pm. I'll start off with another question:

What do girls expect on a first date? I never know how intimate/romantic to be on one of these.

Quote from shade449

Quote from x0mbiec0rp

Yes. I was making assumptions. Lack of sufficient data forced me to suppose possible scenarios. However, you are not asking "in general". In fact, asking in general is an insult to the opposite gender as a whole. You're assuming men lack some sort of individuality and that you can project the actions of one onto the whole. You wouldn't want men doing that towards women, right? You don't necessarily have anything in common with someone else just because you're both women, after all. You further disproved that you weren't asking "in general" when you actually gave the example. Because that is clearly what you were asking about.

Didn't read the rest of your huge wall of text, nor the last few posts from other people but just wanted to point this out.

Lack of sufficient data actually didn't force you to do anything. Again, you can ask someone to clarify before being "forced" to make assumptions.

Also, if you haven't noticed, throughout this entire thread, people ask questions about the other gender IN GENERAL and they receive answers that often show that it varies from person to person. That's kinda the point of this thread - to clear up misconceptions that one gender has over the other. I'm not sure why you found that post particularly offensive (or maybe you posted similar responses and I didn't see it) but it's hardly unique to this thread.

Anyway, let's all move on yeah? I don't wanna see this thread closed since it's one of my favorite threads on here. If anyone has more responses, it might be better to just pm. I'll start off with another question:

What do girls expect on a first date? I never know how intimate/romantic to be on one of these.

You're misinterpreting my offended level. And look at my rush to provide data more as a time saver than anything else. Anyway, I was extrapolating data to better answer the question, and hoping no one would be bothered by it. Hope that simplifies things for you. Sorry for trying to provide a useful, accurate answer based on actual human thought processes rather than sexist assumptions commmonly made by both genders.

This signature was recovered from Hades to serve in my rotting armies.

I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone when I asked the question, I was merely curious and wanted to hear others opinions (this is what this thread is for after all), which I received and took to consideration. If you would have bothered to read my previous posts you would have noticed that I meant some guys not all, and if I failed to make that clear then I am sorry, I really did just mean some guys. I know fully well that everyone is different and I shouldn't label others based on one persons doings.

Quote from x0mbiec0rp

As to why he would start going out with someone else in the example indicated? You're clearly being unreasonable, is why. Two months lacking an official dating status to get to know someone is silly, as he is left hanging without a response for a long time. You've also asked him to be friends, a common rejection which might lead him to believe you were being evasive.

I've already explained this, I'm guessing you couldn't bother reading it through though.

Quote from x0mbiec0rp

Also, before getting offended by my post, keep in mind that you've misrepresented the situation, (You've said he guy was looking for a serious relationship. He was looking to go out with you, then gave up because he wasn't sure you'd ever make a decision. Not the same) and I'm simply trying to provide you an answer without proper information.

Again, I've also explained this. And yes your post has indeed offended me. The way you came across doesn't fit well with me.

Quote from x0mbiec0rp

This is just a mean thing to say.

Mean? Maybe. But I'm sure you don't know the situation to say it is so.

Sorry for those I have offended. Anyway, everyone is different. Lesson Learned.

Quote from shade449

What do girls expect on a first date? I never know how intimate/romantic to be on one of these. On first dates I always analyze my date, sort of like a test just to see what kind of person they are. There shouldn't be that much intimacy on a first date, it is the first after all. You just have to be comfortable and always have a back up for lack of conversations...it's always awkward when no one's speaking for like 10mins (and never bring up past relationships, you'll dig your own hole.). It's good to be romantic but never overdo it, you might scare the girl off. Just play it simple. I think girls just basically expect to see how the guy really is, never try to be something your not on a first date, it will end badly.

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ok weird question but its been bugging me lol

How do girls feel if their boyfriend masturbates...
do they get offended, disgusted, or do they really just don't care

sorry if this was asked already...i didnt feel like reading 101 pages of Q and A

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Quote from Berzer

ok weird question but its been bugging me lol

How do girls feel if their boyfriend masturbates...
do they get offended, disgusted, or do they really just don't care

sorry if this was asked already...i didnt feel like reading 101 pages of Q and A

Why would I care?
He has the right for self pleasure.

It's also good for a guy to have that skill. A girl might have a "headache" or something. 🙂

I say- Jerk off as much as you like, just don't stain anything.

Or did you mean in front of the gf?

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