Met/married my wife that way 10+ years ago (met in person 6ish times in 11 months, rest was net/phone...and met online).

If it wasn't possible, I wouldn't have the life I have with her now.

I agree completely that relationships can and do start online. Prior to being called love, I simply think there has to be some serious face-to-face time. Most people jump the ball on using the L word anyway. But yeah, if what you mean is as I underlined from your post above - then I'd agree fully.

I believe others can, but for me I need that personal relationship.

I believe it's possible for some to care for people they've met online but don't know about love. Well it might be just because I don't really understand love so Guess I need to figure that out.

Hmmm, maybe but you can still be in love with something. Which can also include figments of imagination...Thats none living right?
like i said it comes down to your definition of "love". Being "in love" with another being/thing is possible.

Really, it just depends on what you THINK love is and for some it can be more materialistic.

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I used the Ifle tower as an example because some women married it.

Last edited by fr33noob at 4:41 pm, May 8 2010

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.

I believe you can meet anyone anywhere, including on the net. So, yeah. Just gotta be careful and all.

I met my wife online....

I think that forming relationships through the wire is here to stay.

A lot of people ranted and raved when facebook first arrived "Why?" "What's the point?" "What a waste of time..."
Now, even the biggest companies and organizations accept that the Facebooks and Twitters need to be embraced and incorporated, whether they like it or not. This is the way people are communicating.

Isn't love about learning about a person and as time passes, becoming attached to them?
This is a pretty big oversimplification... but it does involve learning about someone.

But on the internet, there is such a gigantic blind spot when it comes to knowing who people really are. People care about what others think of them and they want to be accepted and admired.
It's easy to embellish, or even not mention certain uncomfortable things about ourself - there's a lot of margin to do this online. Or maybe lie about everything. The friend you have on the internet might be very different from the person in the real world.

Can people find the perfect person for themselves online and build a solid long-term relationship through the wire?

Yes.
Is it enough?
No.
They need to see each other in the real world, see the good things and the bad.

I must say, I do like waffling. ^^

Yes, I believe in falling in love online. The internet is just another venue to find someone special. Like what happens in the real world, being made a fool of or finding real compatibility can still happen.

It's like a long distance relationship in reverse (you meet the person long distance first before you see each other face to face).

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"I love you like the plant that never blooms yet carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul" - Sonnet XVII

It may work for others, however not for me. Considering that I usually need 1-2 years to feel my friends IRL truly close, who knows how much time I would need to fall in love online xD I might develop crushes, but no love.

Not to mention that this type of love would only bring me pain. Why does this need to live abroad

Pft just import it. ;O Not that hard.

It's definitely possible to be attracted to someone as long as there is a form a communication. For anything further to develop I think you'd need to meet in real life because physical attraction is just as important.

Ok, I've already shared in the other thread how I met my husband online, so I won't talk about that here. However, long before I knew him or even played on the game on which we met, I played on a different MUCK and met a guy from Sweden. We both crushed on each other pretty hard. I wrote him letters regularly (almost weekly) while he was in the army and we talked on the phone once or twice (after I made sure that I had an international calling plan so that I wouldn't be paying $500 for a 30 minute phone call). We essentially "dated" each other for over a year without ever having met in person, and we were fairly happy for most of it. (According to him, the guys in his unit were jealous of the letters he got from me so often.) This was back before webcams were super common, and Skype didn't exist yet.

Was I in love? I would have told you at the time that I was, and I still think now that I was. It didn't feel like just a 'crush' - and I wasn't "in love" with someone he wasn't. I knew that upon meeting him in person, but I didn't know that until meeting him in person (hindsight). He was exactly who he always was. I've had online crushes before too, but I'm introspective enough to realize when I'm building someone (or the idea of the relationship) up to be something that he's not - those are the crushes, and the relationship with my Swede wasn't.

I don't remember why we finally called it off. The distance was definitely a major contributing factor. (I've always said that "the Internet brings people together and keeps them apart at the same time.") But we did drift apart after a while. I'm not sure which contributed more to the break-up, but I remember that I was the one who called it off. (He wasn't happy about it, but he understood.)

I did eventually meet him when he got out of the army and came to the States to travel the country for a couple of months. He stayed the entire time with friends he met on that game, me included. Though we knew that we were over, we were still fond enough of each other to mess around some when we met since neither of us were dating anyone at that time. (No sex.)

I've met over 100 online friends in person. Some of them I liked, some of them liked me, and some of them, it was mutual. The emotional attachment will usually come first in an online relationship, but there's also something to be said for physical attraction and knowledge. There was one guy I met who liked me more than I liked him. He wanted to hold my hand while we were walking, so I did. And holding his pudgy little fingers between mine was the biggest turn-off for me - I just couldn't stand it. (You're welcome to call me 'shallow,' because I know that's exactly what it was, but let's face it, everyone's slightly shallow or sometimes forms opinions based solely on looks or other physical factors. That was not my sole basis of judgment, though. He was a relatively nice-looking guy, but he was also a bit on the creepy side personality-wise, so that was one of the less pleasant meetings with an online acquaintance I've had. I wanted to meet him as a friend. He was hoping for something more from the meeting.)

So, yes, you can form legitimate crushes/infatuations online. And yes, online relationships can work. And yes, they can also fall apart for various reasons, not the least of which is personal habits which you just can't know about until you've met and hung around for a while with each other in person.

QFT.


Last edited by Liria at 2:10 pm, May 10 2010

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If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Love is different for everyone. It's triggered by different things for different people. I think it is possible. It's never happened with me but I think you can find sincere love in all kinds of ways. I think love first starts with the connection you have with people. And if you "click" with someone then you just "click." I don't think it's necesary to actually know the person (in which I mean face-to-face).

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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

What if I don't exist irl, does that mean I can't fall in love?

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Far-off places with sweet sounding names.