[m]I need a yaoi where the seme is emotionally unstable and abuses the uke both physically and mentally (or rapes him). The uke on the other hand is in love with the seme. Later the seme realizes he loves the uke too. I'm not perverted lol I just like these kind of stories.

Some of Yamakami Riyu's works like Deep Flower, Sasayaku no wa Sono Yubi
and Motto Shigekiteki na Kankei are with a cruel seme although some to a lesser extent

Others recommendations I can think of at the moment:
Sakura Gari- not entirely certain, haven't read it for a while
Kichiku Megane- kind of...
Bi no Isu to a certain extent, seme never actually says he loves him

Thanks! I've mostly read some of those lol Thanks though :3