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Shyness...

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Post #492148 - Reply To (#491950) by AliceinAmestris
Post #492148 - Reply To (#491950) by AliceinAmestris
Member


14 years ago
Posts: 390

Depends...
Dad - 6-7
People I don't know - 4-5
People I know - 3-4
Friends- 1-2
Girlfriend, mom and siblings - 0

Yeah, dad is the person I'm more awkward with... We have a good relationship though.

I used to be bolder, but with time you learn that there are thoughts better not spoken and also learn to respect other peoples space.

Tokyo_homi

I don't think you got shyer, you just got more mature. Not wanting to socialize or choosing not to socialize is not the same as being incapable of socializing.


Post #492167 - Reply To (#491941) by tokyo_homi
Post #492167 - Reply To (#491941) by tokyo_homi
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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 566

Quote from tokyo_homi

I've noticed that the older i get (just 20), the more shy i become.
For most people shyness is something that is shedded off as the get older.
But for me it seems its been the opposite:
The truth is because when i was younger; i was reckless and irresponsible. But i've become ALOT more responsible and mature when i started college, i guess i just realized that play time was over and i need to start being a little more serious if i want to get some where good in life and with such a focused state of mind, i've shun away from most socializing, especially with women, my face even turns red if too many people are looking at me.

I'm actually the same as you. Well, I've never been the most outgoing person but when I got to college I became a lot more shy. I don't know why it happened this way, but I started to feel anxiety when I had to go into social situations where I didn't know anyone. Also, it was a lot harder for me to make friends than when I was in high school.


Post #492176 - Reply To (#492167) by KaoriNite
Post #492176 - Reply To (#492167) by KaoriNite
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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 797

Quote from KaoriNite

Well, I've never been the most outgoing person but when I got to college I became a lot more shy. I don't know why it happened this way, but I started to feel anxiety when I had to go into social situations where I didn't know anyone. Also, it was a lot harder for me to make friends than when I was in high school.

Think this is true for me, too. Well, in high school I at least knew a few people from my previous school whereas when I went to university last year I literally knew nobody and the whole thing freaked me out. The whole of the school year I was completely incapable of making any close friends, found it really hard to socialise because I knew I would barely know anyone anywhere I went and I always felt excrutiatingly self-conscious, and the whole time I was at least twice as shy as I normally am. (So maybe, a 9 at uni, a 4 normally?) I think I was too paralysed with nerves to talk to anyone, and I'm not very approachable so nobody talked to me... ¬_¬'

When I'm back home for break or anything though, I would say the familiarity of the people and the places makes me so much less shy. I'm still not good with strangers but I can handle it. As long as I'm with my friends I'm really outgoing and loud.


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世界のどこかに必ず
キミの居場所がある筈

Post #492410 - Reply To (#492167) by KaoriNite
Post #492410 - Reply To (#492167) by KaoriNite
Meh?
Member


14 years ago
Posts: 5

Quote from KaoriNite

I'm actually the same as you. Well, I've never been the most outgoing person but when I got to college I became a lot more shy. I don't know why it happened this way, but I started to feel anxiety when I had to go into social situations where I didn't know anyone. Also, it was a lot harder for me to make friends than when I was in high school.

Funny thing is, I'm about to enter high school and I'm feeling a lot shyer than I was in middle school. I did attend a summer course session at my high school this July-August, but I've had huuuuge trouble striking up friendly conversations on my own.

This inability to socialize has unexpectedly stirred up feelings of loneliness and depression. I want to slap myself in the face for starting freshman year so noobishly.

Regarding the scale, I would say that since I grew up in a not-so-good neighborhood, my shyness was around 2-3. But I'm naturally a docile person, so in high school, it ramps up to a 9-10.


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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 32

I'm kind of in the same situation. I seem to get more shy as time goes on. (But I'm getting better.) I'm usually only shy with people I don't know, those that have no real relation with me, or w/ certain topics.

On a scale of 1-10...About an 8 in general. (But with those I'm used to; 0-2.)


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"Alone, I send out signals...to the mermaid that will never show up."

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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 410

I'm probably more shy/awkward around those closer to me, such as my dad, aunts and uncles. Probably because their opinions matter more to me or they're the ones I have to interact with on a more regular basis? I absolutely loathe family gatherings. (8-10)

When it comes to strangers, I'm probably just more reserved than shy. I'm generally not an outgoing person - more of an introvert - who's in favour of a great deal of alone time. I'm not the kind who'd initiate a conversation and I'm very content with silence. Occasionally I'd feel a little self-conscious but generally, I'm more indifferent towards them. I feel comfortable with the fact they're not playing on important role in my life. Weirdly, strangers are the ones I can easily strike up a conversation with and be able to sustain it. (1-5)

As for my friends/peers, there's generally no awkwardness between us (well, at least I'm happy in their presence). There's still an aloofness about me but that's just me. (0-3)

Quote from Klapzi

Not wanting to socialize or choosing not to socialize is not the same as being incapable of socializing.

This.


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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 140

I'm decently shy around 6 to 8 or so around people I don't know. But once I know and trust a person, I'm a 2 to 3 probably. My dad I'm like 8 or 9, fear the boss lol. 😉


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14 years ago
Posts: 60

Quote from sarah-eats-cupcakes

uhhh depends...
with girls...im okay.it takes a while to open up but i dont really feel shy
with older women i feel a little shy (like 7 or 6)

with guys...i have a problem
probably because i spent my school years from 4th to 8th grade at an all girls school,then my parents took me back to a mixed school...i just couldnt get used to it
im ok with replying to stuff like "hey you forgot your book" or "can you lend me your notes"
but im terrible with normal conversations...my mind just goes blank and i dont know how to reply
with older men im totally okay i dont feel shy and i find it easier to keep the conversation going

in crowded places i get really paranoid and i feel very uneasy thats why i never go out with my family to crowded malls or parks

Ugh I really envy you I have such a problem talking to girls sometimes and it is something I try to change. With girls who chat/seem interested in making friends I often just blank out and start talking with them about something really banal. Only outgoing when most girls at a gathering are people I know. With guys I'm more instinctive and usually feel at ease pointing something out and picking up conversation on their wavelength. It is a matter of confidence!


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14 years ago
Posts: 70

Ugh, I am so bad. I'm like a 9.9! I don't know why I'm like this but... I really don't like talking to strangers. I'm not the kind of person that walks up someone and strikes up a conversation, sadly. I am more silly with family though. But even with people I know like friends, I'm very reserved. I often don't find the need to talk, because I honestly have nothing to say. Am I just weird? I really envy outgoing people; they are able to make a whole conversation out of nothing. I guess I'm a better listener than a talker. Trying to think about what to talk about isn't very natural is it? I really think about what I say before I say it, so I'm not much of a blurt-er.

I think it has gotten worse. When I was younger I had stage fright (still do), but I wouldn't say I was shy. But as I get older, I find that I am more quiet and that I have less to say. So I guess I'm not very good at socializing. I don't mind silence, but awkward silences are so depressing. I'd say I'm just terrible at expressing myself.

I hate being in strange places with absolutely no one I know. If I had even one person I knew, I'd automatically feel calmer. So kinda freaked out about college. Also, I've never been one of those loud sorts, except with my sibling at home. 😛 Lol, and overall, cluttering and stumbling over my words doesn't help either.


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14 years ago
Posts: 7789

One.


Post #496006 - Reply To (#495851) by CLouDFaeRie
Post #496006 - Reply To (#495851) by CLouDFaeRie
Member


14 years ago
Posts: 25

Quote from CLouDFaeRie

Ugh, I am so bad. I'm like a 9.9! I don't know why I'm like this but... I really don't like talking to strangers. I'm not the kind of person that walks up someone and strikes up a conversation, sadly. I am more silly with family though. But even with people I know like friends, I'm very reserved. I often don't find the need to talk, because I honestly have nothing to say. Am I just weird? I really envy outgoing people; they are able to make a whole conversation out of nothing. I guess I'm a better listener than a talker. Trying to think about what to talk about isn't very natural is it? I really think about what I say before I say it, so I'm not much of a blurt-er.

I think it has gotten worse. When I was younger I had stage fright (still do), but I wouldn't say I was shy. But as I get older, I find that I am more quiet and that I have less to say. So I guess I'm not very good at socializing. I don't mind silence, but awkward silences are so depressing. I'd say I'm just terrible at expressing myself.

I hate being in strange places with absolutely no one I know. If I had even one person I knew, I'd automatically feel calmer. So kinda freaked out about college. Also, I've never been one of those loud sorts, except with my sibling at home. 😛 Lol, and overall, cluttering and stumbling over my words doesn't help either.

Well, I'm kinda the same, always trying to figure out what to say and all, though I fin it less dificult to express myself when I'm with outgoing people or some of my friends. Also, I have stage fright as well, Which is rather weird since I play in a band. In fact, it only acts up when I'm supposed to talk in front of people, even if it's just two of them, and i've got a feeling it's getting worse...

And, well, I'm so worried I might say something wrong in an unknown environment I usually take forever to say just a few sentences, which I mostly end up not saying since the topic's usually changed by then.

Also, when I do manage to say something, most of the time people tend to not notice I said something, or fail to notice me at all, which doesn't help either. Another (and sometimes rather funny) side to that is that I regularly and unintentionally manage to scare the living daylights out of people when they do notice me. 😀


Member


14 years ago
Posts: 208

I have social anxiety too, so I don't know if my response would be 'valid'. I used to be very outgoing until the age of 4- I loved to go up on stage and sing in front of people back then. After highly traumatic experiences during early primary school (racism), things started to go downhill. I have been excruciatingly shy in front of people I'm not very familiar with (probably 9-10). I'm still very shy- especially around men and people I perceive to be cold or non-receptive. I'm fine with friendly people as long they're not stunning lol. I am seeking conselling and advise others with the same problem to get help a.s.a.p. It really gets in the way later when you start vocational training or going on placements and entering the workforce- I'm on my way to becoming a speech pathologist, so shyness/social anxiety is something I really have to try and manage successfully!


Post #496102 - Reply To (#496006) by fukou
Post #496102 - Reply To (#496006) by fukou
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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 83

Well, I'm kinda the same, always trying to figure out what to say and all, though I fin it less dificult to express myself when I'm with outgoing people or some of my friends. Also, I have stage fright as well, Which is rather weird since I play in a band. In fact, it only acts up when I'm supposed to talk in front of people, even if it's just two of them, and i've got a feeling it's getting worse...

And, well, I'm so worried I might say something wrong in an unknown environment I usually take forever to say just a few sentences, which I mostly end up not saying since the topic's usually changed by then.

Also, when I do manage to say something, most of the time people tend to not notice I said something, or fail to notice me at all, which doesn't help either. Another (and sometimes rather funny) side to that is that I regularly and unintentionally manage to scare the living daylights out of people when they do notice me.

I think I 've heard of a singer who had something like stage fright when he sang, so he would simply sing with his back to the crowd. Intresting way to handle it.


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his and her sonnet
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14 years ago
Posts: 1127

Quote from Fansomedreams

I think I 've heard of a singer who had something like stage fright when he sang, so he would simply sing with his back to the crowd. Intresting way to handle it.

are you talking about jim morrison?


Post #496347 - Reply To (#492091) by dione
Post #496347 - Reply To (#492091) by dione
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Member


14 years ago
Posts: 4

Quote from dione

Idk if my response counts, due to the fact I have social anxiety.
But my shyness varied from age to age:
In the primary school years, I was very shy with everyone (8-10).
In the early years at HS (6-7).
At 17-18yrs old it went anywhere from 5-11 (11 being panic attacks).

Now, at 19, I normally sit at around 4-6. All thanks to the nom nom anti-anxiety meds I take. 🤣

social anxiety as in an actual phobia or like stage fright without the stage? so you had a panic attack? wat happen?

I don't know that I'm shy but i don't really like to start conversation with ppl much, unless they seem interesting. It's not really that i can't, i see new ppl where i'm at all the time and do just fine talking with them, but in the civilian world, i can't seem to find a reason to talk to others much.


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