Okay, this has been bugging me a while... I'm not really sure how to explain the question, so I'll give an example.
Let's say Girl A is in love with Guy A, who has a crush on Girl B. Well, Girl B decided she'll date Guy A, and everything goes fine. Girl A doesn't like B, but pretends for Guy A and is polite to Girl B, etc. Suppose Girl A catches Girl B bragging about how Guy A is a lovesick fool or some other demeaning thing. Girl A confronts her and Girl B initiates a physical fight. Guy A catches them and Girl B claims that Girl A assaulted her. Girl A let's Guy A make up his own mind, and goes off. Now, as Guy A leaves with Girl B to comfort here, a spectator that was in the right place at the right time (Guy B for short), tells Guy A what actually happened. Guy A is devastated and breakes up with Girl B, the supposed love of his life.
Now here's the question: Should Girl A have told Guy A what happend? Or was she showing her love more by letting Guy A do what she thought would make him happy? Which is a stronger show of love, to never lie, or to put them ahead of yourself?
My question might still not be clear, but basically what I want to konw is what you think shows true love, what acts are indicators of this emotions and which ones don't quite make it.

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Saying "love" so easily sounds weird to me.

IMO true love happens when two people have been with each other for a while and think of the other person as part of their life and care strongly for each other. Lust or attraction is not true love. People can make different decisions at this stage. There is no right or wrong decision.

I think Girl A's action was not showing "love" or something. Feeling not being trusted won't make anyone comfortable. Seeing that Guy A was dating Girl B, she probably thought Guy A wouldn't believe her. That's why she didn't tell the truth, fearing not being trusted.

...

Well, from what I can see Girl A would've shown her love if she told him the truth even though there was little chance he'd believe her being the "lovesick fool" that he was. This is because she would've shown concern for his future and eventual heartbreak if he continued dating Girl B.

By not telling him, she chose to keep her pride over love which suggest her attitude was "Don't blame me when you find out she's a b***h that's been playing you" in turn doesn't show love at all...

...

I've been reading too much shoujo

No greater show of love is present.

Girl A should have done what she herself felt was right, for herself.
There is no "stronger show of love", didn't Girl A just hide away whilst not trying to keep fighting for what she wanted, leaving Guy A to figure everything out himself (since he might not even know about Girl A's feelings.) That's being a coward.

It seems pointless to me that Girl A acted in a semi-unselfish matter when all she most likely wanted to be was to be selfish and win Boy A (It really is OK to be selfish at times). Why not just go all the way instead of taking a half-arsed step for what Girl A really wished for? I could understand if Girl A... let's say knew she was a really bad person for Guy A to be with whilst wanting to protect him, maybe this is the case though.

"Love of his life", it's not something that just "is", it is something that "becomes". Girl A should just have slapped Girl B silly and told Guy A that he's stupid for falling for a false (not to mention effing mental(in regards to fighting)) person while not falling for her (Girl A). She would probably have done well in doinga german suplex on him, then kiss him and ask him to go out with her.

Oh... I'm probably getting confused and off track here, sorry. Youthful love though, it's great! I miss it!


I too, have been reading too much shoujo.

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Do you know what people did in the old days when they had secrets they didn't want to share?

They'd climb a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it, whisper the secret into the hole and cover it up with mud. That way, nobody else would ever learn the secret...

I actually read all the posts in the thread

Well, I would have liked more if Girl A confronts Guy A and gives him her opinion about Girl B, since it seems Girl A and Guy A are at least in good terms. As u11241897135181 said, Girl A should have been sincere with her feelings too, I think.

Now, love is selfish and viewing it from a more objective point of view one would be tempted to say that what she did was more "noble". Still, there is no place in love to use the word objectivity at all, so this make this pointless. Well, it's complex, I guess @_@.

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well Girl A messed up in the beginning..she suppose to tell Guy A and let him do what ever he wants to do..and Guy A probably wont notice it was an act of love probably and act of good looking out...Girl A needs to make her self more noticeable

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"when i'm sad, i stop being sad and be awesome instead."
- Barney Stinson

I second this.

We'll, since girl A doesn't have the balls to tell about
her feelings, she doesn't need to say anything.
Besides, teen romances suck ass and are not
worth it.

Lying is required to maintain relationships. It is the glue
of the relationships of today. If both girls would've just
blamed each other, the guy would've just ignored the
whole mess.

I guess to me, it's not her actions that show love, but her intentions. To me, love is selfless. If her intentions were to keep him happy, then that is "an act of love," whether or not it involved lying (Lying is "not right" and unfair, but who said love is fair? Fair is cold.) Besides. But if her intentions were spiteful, than no, of course not.

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guys are blunt, rather listen to the whole truth than have to go through these movie-like scenarios.

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"Hip-hop was set out in the dark. They used to do it out in the park"

Why can't girl A and girl B make up and get along with Boy A and they can even invite girl C.

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I'd swim to the bottom and never come up

Personally, I think Girl A not telling Guy A was a good move. If I were Girl A, I wouldn't want a guy that trusts some other girl over his girlfriend even if we were good friends. And if Girl B is such a *beep* he's going to find out sooner or later anyway, but it's something he does need to learn for himself. A guy whose feelings are easily swayed by what other people think and rumors isn't good "boyfriend" material. Assume Girl A tells him the truth, he breaks up with Girl B and dates Girl A. How long until some other jealous girl tells him something that makes him break up with Girl A?

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I am replying without reading the subsequent posts to not taint my judgment... My opinion is:-

imho, there isnt anything called "ideal love". You just have choices and consequences. It was lucky for Girl A that Guy B was there but its not like that helped Girl A to get any closer to Guy A, by ur description at least. Maybe in future, it would be different.

So to answer ur first question, I think it was good for Girl A that she didnt tell on Girl B but had Guy A come to know what the case was and that Girl A knew, it would have crapped the relationship anyway.The "best" thing for Guy A is what had happened though he got a heartache. But from Girl A's point of view, if she told him about that, she might have taken the risk of being rejected as a friend. So even though Girl A could "gloss over" and say "I didnt tell him coz I didnt want to hurt him" but in reality she might just be saving her own skin as in most cases, guys would hate to be treated like a 'fool' unless they are TOO MUCH in love OR they know and accept that they are treated like that as long as the girl stays with him. ANOTHER thing is that had Girl A been responsible for the break up with or without sacrificing her relationship with guy A, and by any chance (anything and everything impossible about people hooking up HAPPENS when u disbelieve it too much.. ) they come together again, Girl A would be marked a "villain". and it is a bit hard to live with that too if u guys have the same environment (school, dorm, workplace, neighbourhood etc). So I think what happened was for the best but dont be surprised if Girl B and Guy A hook up again ...

Now to answer the second question, ideal love, true love or whatever u call it isnt "rewarded" in RL. I know I sound depressing but I cant say how many times I have seen, some "worshipping" type gals/guys are treated awfully by their adored ones. You dont usually need to "show" love but you just "need to be there" at the time of need. I call THAT true love when both reciprocate each others feelings instinctively and for a long time. "True love" from one side doesnt always result in a relationship neither does it always make both parties happy- I look at couples and relationships when I think of that term so I guess I will say that sticking through thick and thin because of trust and "love" is what "true love" is to me..and it also involves fighting, forgiving and accepting each other's faults and still trusting each other and the unadulterated want and need to be together not because of money or any dependency besides emotional and perhaps spiritual and beyond if you want to let loose ur imagination..

On this respect, one thing comes to mind from the manga Nana- if you know the story, Now that is one indication of true love for me. There is also a similar dialogue in Clover too . I hope this helps

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There is two acts of "love" by Girl A in that story. #1 is not telling Guy A about Girl B. #2 is confronting Girl B with her attidude.

Everyone has already chimed in about #1 so I'll comment on #2

Ok - switch the genders in the story and the fact there was a physical fight makes a LOT more sence. Boys are more inclined to "play" a girl, and physically fight for said girl. Girls are more inclined to tattle to each other. The fact it happened the way it did says something.

Boy's usally only "tattle" on a romantic fight when they want to get rid of competition for a girl. So, I'm not trusting Guy B's motives right now.

Girls (usally) have to be heavlly provoked before they physicaly hurt someone. Yet it was Girl B who was throwing the insults and the first punch. Could be lots of reasons for that but most of them involve Girl B thinking she is not "worthy" of Guy A. Girl A is showing true love to both Girl B and Guy A by confronting her. (Also no need to get Guy A involved, boys usally suck at the whole "feelings" thing)

I've run in to this situation in Real Life and it was actually Guy A and Girl B that made a great couple, and got even better after dealing with their issues. Guy A and Girl A were too simular to make a good couple (great friends 'tho), and Guy A knew it. So he never made a move on her.

Difficult question. It's all subjective opinion... if Girl A did love Guy A, she'd want him to be happy... but that doesn't mean she has to destroy her own happiness in the process. If she stayed near to him and was nice to him like a friend...maybe one day he'd realise she was better than Girl B?

If Girl B is a lying person who says behind her back, bad things... Guy A would just find out and be hurt Anyway...so it wouldn't have been too bad if Girl A had told him what happened.

Oh my head spins now ;