For the past 17 years of my life I have never suspected this. but earlier today my dad said that young kids shouldn't be around gays because it will influence them and my mom said that she 'didn't want to judge this hairstylist, but he is gay'.

then we were talking about sushi and stuff when my dad says that he hates japanese people. He said 'look at the the things japanese people have done (rape of nanking etc)' and then said all sorts of terrible things about them while i sat there in shock. My mother agreed with him and said that native japanese people have something wrong with their head.

I tried to reason with them, but my dad asked me 'if you lived in pearl harbor how would you feel' and i replied that it was 50 years ago and nobody cares now. He said that i was wrong and japanese people are evil.

Then I asked, 'what about german people?' because we are chinese and the nanking thing is kinda connected to us, but we have no german connection. My dad said that german people believe they are better than everyone else. Then I asked, 'what about jewish people?' (considering they were affected most by the holocaust). my dad said that jewish people are cunning and only care about money.

My parents were talking in the way that you just know reasoning won't work. My sister got upset, cried, and ran to her room while my dad got angry. My mom tried to calm him down and tell him not to say things so meanly but my dad stated that 'they are facts. I'm not making anything up.'

I am so shocked right now. They aren't the people i knew anymore and I don't know what to do. I can't say anything against my father because he is the type of person that cannot be persuaded differently and he will get violent with me if i become too defiant. My mother, she is normally a nice person, but she doesn't or refuses to understand reason when it goes against her beliefs. I am crying right now and I have nobody to talk to-i had a very bad fallout with my sister and I am a loner. I can't believe I am going to mu for help but everyone has always been helpful and nice and I just need somebody to talk to right now

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[img][/img] A senpai tried to violate me after hearing about my transfer. BUT I RAPED HIM INSTEAD.

A lot of people still care about Pearl Harbor. Although the amount of people who still blame today's Japan for it is small.

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Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

There's little you can do about that just by being passive.
Just reflect on yourself whether you want to follow their example
and what do you gain by doing so or not doing so.
Most old coots can't give a reasonable, holistic view of anything,
but tend to follow the same schisms and isms until they die.
If it annoys you, tell them. If I had parents who make retarded,
sanctimonious remarks, I'd just let them know.
Though chances are that they probably won't care what you say and blame it on your age.
I don't really get to hear anything patriotic or stupid. Actually, I find the two to be synonyms.
My family is not religious, we don't live in the US
and we respect human and animal rights.

Regardless, you'll get over it. Acceptance is inevitable.

@silentkiller heyy man they're here to hear some words of encouragement not you're political corrections.

It does feel terrible when the you're family suddenly reveals themselves as people you just don't recognize. I can sympathize because I have had similar experiences with my family, I remember sinking into a slump and just feeling like the world was a different place...a much gloomier and vicious one. I live in a liberal city, so when I talked to my friends on the same subjects they expressed their views and I felt glad I wasn't alone. My family and I still disagree on those same issues but instead of trying to force my feelings on to them I decided it best to let it be. We'll always have conflicting ideas toward those things. You can't agree with someone 100% of the time but they still remain your family and they should understand that if they wish to debate on those things then they're looking to start trouble - so they'll avoid it as well. I am sorry to hear about this. I hope you'll be able to repair these shaken relationships, in fact, I know you will, my thoughts are with you in your difficult times.

People are racist and homophobic. It's unfortunately common; people are idiots, and hate things that exist beyond their comfort zone. Normally, anyway. Ignore it, you can't change their opinions at this point. Just be more accepting yourself if you feel ashamed of it. Generally speaking, time is the only factor that causes global changes in things like racism and homophobia. It only happens in gradual, generational ways. Of course activism accelerates the process, or perhaps is the key reacting factor, but most of the time the real opponents have to die off before anything changes. In about 30 years, homosexual marriage will probably seem totally natural in the united states, based on generational trends in political opinion. That's just how society tends to function, more often than not.

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Reviews of my Work:
You are kind of boring - Blackorion
Congratulations! Ur an asshole! - tokyo_homi
Your awesome!!! - Cherelle_Ashley
NightSwan also said that she wanted to peg me, once, but I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or a threat...

Thank you so much everyone.
I've gotten over the initial shock of all the hate my parents have for others. I've always been a very peaceful/cowardly person and have mostly lived in a loving environment so it was a big shock for me.I can see now that there's not much i can do about it, but maybe when they're older they will mellow out and lose some of that hate.

I will let it be and they will probably never bring it up again because of my sister's reaction. I'm not brave enough to let them know how i really feel about things right now and I don't want to lose the rest of my family.

Instead, I will just focus on becoming the person I am and will take this as a lesson learned to always be open minded about things. I don't want to become a person full of hate and I will try to keep others from becoming like that too.


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[img][/img] A senpai tried to violate me after hearing about my transfer. BUT I RAPED HIM INSTEAD.

Just providing some objectivity. There are a myriad of reasons why people think what they do. They may not be right and they may not be fair, and some may even be hurtful. It usually comes down to ignorance. Refusing to change your views despite all the evidence against, and not wanting to learn to know what the truth is hardly ever does anyone any good. Please don't take my bluntness as an insult. Some things are just easier to talk about for me when I'm not beating around the bush.

As for OP. This situation is messed up, and there's not much anyone can say to really make it better for you. I'm sorry that you'd have to learn of racism from your parents of all people in the way that you did, but sadly that is only the tip of the iceberg, because out in the world there are groups out there that are not just following a mantra laid by their ancestors but actually going out and actively perpetrating crimes on others based on the fact that this person is different from "me" in their eyes. But let's pull back and discuss your family problems since that is why you posted in the first place. let me ask this: Do you love your family? Are you going to stop loving them because you think they are wrong? I think you do, and I don't think you would.

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Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

i have sort of a similar situation. i have an aunt that has always been a negative person, who constantly insults and criticizes people she doesn't like. i wasn't so surprised when i started to hear her say racist and homophobic things. in the past, i simply did not want to get into an argument with her so i would just ignore her comments and not say anything. now that i'm older and an adult, i don't let things slide so easily. it's definitely a hard situation to be in. you're the younger person wanting to stand up for what you believe, but you know that saying anything will just result in an argument that won't change the other person's opinion. for me, i just try to not have as much contact with my aunt.

what i would advise for you is to let your opinions be known. i'm not saying you should start arguments. i just know that i really regretted letting my aunt say homophobic things about my other aunt who is a lesbian. in the moment, i just didn't want to start a fight. but now its one of the moments that i wish i could go back and change. anyways, sometimes there is no changing people's attitudes. you can tell when someone is willing to have a reasonable discussion about these topics, and when someone is so stuck in their ways that nothing you say can make them listen. you just have to be true to yourself. if your parents say these things again you can just say "i don't agree with you" and try to change the subject

You think your parents are homophobic? Ha!
My parents take homophobia to another level. They think they are depraved, evil, disgusting (think of a million more vile words used to describe things). That's not the worst part either. Most (like 90%) of my country believe that. Oh I live in Jamaica. Seriously they condone and even encourage gay bashing. The homosexuals are probably the only persons in my country that aren't homophobic.

And if I express my disapproval of homophobia almost everyone takes it as an admission that I'm a homosexual. So I don't bother to bring that argument to my parents. They'd probably have me exorcised (I'm being serious )

Last edited by secretdesires at 7:59 pm, Dec 25 2011

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No one gives a shit what trite garbage you write here.

Your parents are not bad people, they're just mistaken, because of their education, experience, blah-blah. You must be grateful they didn't pass that ideas onto you. That's a big achivement for them. My parents are the same. Now you have to master the 'you think I'm listening, you think I agree and that's how I want it', especially with your father.

Keep confronting/disagreeing with them politely and factually when they bring it up, you have a sister, if she is younger than you it is even more important that you keep it up. Family ties can be strong and you run the risk of agreeing with the insanity in order to just get along, like you've used to. Don't blow up in their face, not until you can leave, just make your position known rationally and politely. You might want to consider reading up on these issues.

I'm chinese and so are both my parents. My dad is the exact same with his opinions: stubborn, self-righteously stuck up, and gets violent quickly. Several of you say 'stay passive' but I find that hard to do when it's your dad--someone you see and interact with everyday. It's even more difficult when they're so self convinced that they're absolutely right and do the whole 'I'm just stating the facts!' spiel.
Of course, the tendency for chinese middle-aged men to get all worked up, red and puffy and do the whole table smacking and dominance-asserting fist-raising doesn't help any of this -American- passive aggressive logical reasoning approach. I'm 21, and for the past 6-7years I've grown more aware of much of my dad's temperament and lack of reasoning, and both my mom and I have tried to argue with facts, statistically backed reason, straight-forward logic, but he's so locked into his own presumption that even if 100 people told him he's wrong he'll say, 'They're all idiots! I'm the only right one. You're all stupid!'
My dad used to hit me all the time when I was little--for small stuff, trivial mistakes, etc.--a knuckle to the head here, and slap there, a smack and a kick here and there. He'd throw my stuff on the ground and scream personal insults and get all nasty. Wasn't too fun doing anything with him 'cause he'd get all controlling and judgmental. ...guu.... I'll stop my rant here. lol

Not sure if it helps but my friend's dad was the same, until one day my friend snapped and shoved back and said "Just one more year and we'll see who's bigger!" They were at my house and I guess my dad kind of caught on lol. In my case, I grew up (physically) and the whole violence thing went away. Then we got into a couple nasty arguments with profanity strewn about and somehow we've ended up on semi-equal grounds. I think OP is a girl? I don't know if any of this helps smh sorry I'm terrible at this. Well.. I know how you feel though. Dunno how old you are, but I'm sure as you get older and mature, your parents will begin to respect your thoughts more. Just find lots of evidence to back your facts and present to them, and maybe after they've asserted their domestic reign and sent you to your room with more math problems, they'll consider the reasoning behind your argument.
tl;dr: Be happy you're ahead by not being homophobic and racist, and no matter how stubborn your parents are and no matter how many walls are punched in, just remember that the dinner table was flipped with unconditional parental love.

Just who was the kid here? Your dad's behaviour sounds like that of a 4-year-old throwing a tantrum.
Sure, my parents spanked me when I was little when I'd been bad, but they didn't exactly beat me. Thinking back at it, I really did deserve it those times, and I got away with a lot more than I would have permitted if I were my parents. Naughty children must be punished, but you can take it too far... There's a difference between disciplining and child abuse.


Really? I'm 21 and I don't feel that my parents respect my thoughts all that much. My parents are like "as long as you live under our roof, you'll live by our rules", and that's it.

@ the OP

Your father getting violent with you at age 17 if you're being "too defiant" is not normal. If this continues, I suggest you consider reporting this to the appropriate institutions.

About parents being racist and homophobic, mine are too; especially my dad, my mum not so much. My dad has an especially outspoken hatred of Muslims and black people; he hates Muslims because "they're out of their minds with their 'honour killings'" and "they're all living off our tax money and refuse to work", and black people because "they're lazy and won't work hard". He doesn't have that big a problem with homosexuals, but he still doesn't think it's right.

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I can't say I didn't expect this. Many Chinese still hold deep hatred for the Japanese. Hatred that is taught, unfortunately.

On the topic of outspoken parents, my dad is sorta similar..though not in the direction that yours is, but he can be quite offensive and insensitive sometimes.
What I do is just ignore whatever he says. I try to not even be in the same room as he is when possible. We only talk when there's a purpose. No empty conversations. Stubborn people are difficult to change, so I don't bother. Staying quiet and ignoring them is more respectful than mouthing off at them. It also helps with avoiding confrontation.

Either way, they're still your parents. They're the people who brought you up. By good fortune, you didn't grow up to be like them, but you have to be thankful to have grown up at all. You're stuck with them until you're old enough to be legally independent (you're not too far away!).

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Everyday I'm tumblin'

I'm chinese too, but my parents never hate the Japanese, maybe because we flew away from mainland before I even born.

sometimes I'm really glad even the fact that my father education level is only on elementary level he is pretty much open minded, reasonable, and he can accept my critics as long I'm the right one.



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"we are people because of other people"
"I am who I am because of who we all are"