Could someone recommend some BDSM manga with clear distinction between the roleplay scenes and their daily lives? This can include aspects like aftercare, safewords, 100% consensual sex (regardless of how the scene plays out, it should have an undertone that the boundaries were agreed beforehand), and/or even snippets of their relationship outside of the BDSM scene.
Preferably yaoi, but yuri and het are both fine too. (Doujinshi welcome)

A good example and really the only one I could find so far would be Yoru wa Tomodachi

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Try Partners its supposedly first manga with realistic gay BDSM, lots of focus on relationship, safe procedures, rules for the guys some outside life

Also Hoshi no Yakata & Sadistic Boy are famous for BDSM and storyline but I had not read them personally

Kimochi no Yukue (MEIJI Kanako) with life scenes focused on the s guy, (after re reading ....sorry but no rules there....)
Hard Core Heart has "lessons" on proper bondage and some drama

From other side Nana to Kaoru - i only had a glimpse but it seems its pretty focused on relationship and outside life, dont know if they use safe words and such

The titular story in Henai (and its sequel) is the only one I can think of right now.