To most authors a traumatic experience or a sad and tragic past/backstory= a redemption arc

But I don't really believe in that especially in manhua where the female lead has to put up with all the abuse from the male lead just because of his backstory

This also happens in shoujo manga where the male lead acts cold to the female lead all in the name if a traumatic past

I mean I get that your past can change you but you suffering in the past is not an excuse or a reason for making someone or lots of people suffer in the present

toxic is toxic

unless the character is under some psychosis that removes their capacity to understand right and wrong they're responsible for their behaviors and abuse of others

people don't learn how to make friends in kindergarten? when they're 5...? it's not rocket science

I guess the next logical question is
Do you find those toxic behaviors relatable? and enough so, do you consume media that features those stories for your [for lack of a better word]entertainment

even if the tropes show up in your favourite series; when you watch them you can always personally reject the MC's rationalizations and forgiving behaviors

other times the characters are just ridiculously young & dumb
and lose a lot of sleep worrying about the young & dumb members of your social group