I'm looking for a manga where MC has a very bitter love like lover(one-sided crush preferebly but lover is good too) makes him angsty all time,he's jealous,anxious and scared to lost him and at the point of his life he thinks if it's really a love like "is love supposed to be so wretched?so sad?so heavy for me?" or something like that...Ewon from Totally Captivated is perfect exemple of what I want.His relationship with Mookyul made him cry,scared for his lover's life,how could he live on if Mookyul died and etc so Ewon decided to break up with him.