a couple of months ago i heard that a relative of a friend of mine went to the usa to study and after he graduated he told his family he wants to marry a girl in the usa and they were completely shocked and told him that if he marries someone they didnt chose (btw they are gonna probably chose a relative of his) they will cut all contact with him and Disinherit him (from a lot of money) and he still chose to marry her.
the reason this was so odd to me is that a lot of rich closed off form the outside world families in my country send their sons to study in foreign countries and i havent heard of anyone that made the choice he made, so i thought it would be nice to know what people from other cultures think

Now, I am assuming this guy is reasonably intelligent with a somewhat bright perspective of the future.
In that case, saying "screw you" to your uptight, conservative family would be my choice as well.
I don't need that money, I just got a degree and there's plenty of well paying jobs in my future. Maybe I would't be as well of as I could have been, but I can take pride that what I earn is my own hard work and I can lead my own life.
However, were I not someone with bright future prospects and a high level degree, I would go home and live in luxury. Unless the girl I want to marry is really really hot or the girl my parents choose is really really ugly.

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Do but despise reason and science,
The highest of all human gifts -
Then you have surrendered to the Devil
And must surely perish. - J.W. von Goethe

the money is not the issue the family includes his brothers and sisters and cousins the real issue is the family

Oh but it is part of the issue.
If I have the ability and the means to lead my own life, I would pick that. Even if I would not be able to live as luxuriously.
The point is, if my family withholds me from leading my own life when I am capable to, I would drop them like a brick.
If they are unable to respect me living my own life, then they are not worth respecting in return.
But if I am unable to live my own life, then I would likely let them dictate it for me.
That's what it boils down to, at least for me.

________________
Do but despise reason and science,
The highest of all human gifts -
Then you have surrendered to the Devil
And must surely perish. - J.W. von Goethe

family...
cause i love my family and my family loves me...

________________
oh please do click this!
The sweeter the apple, the higher the branch. The quieter the fart, the nastier the smell.
GUESS WHO??

For me, that would never be a problem
My family is very supportive of me and the things I choose in life ^^
That person would become a part of our family, and that is important to me.

I would have serious second thoughts about a person my family didn't like.

love
my family is really bad. our way of comunivation is shouting to each other and i still have scars from my sisters nails

for the one i love i´d sacrifice my own life and those of others

Last edited by ShadowSakura at 2:59 am, Jul 3 2010

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currently reading: Nyotai-ka
please support me

wholly depends on the family. in my case, i've had a good upbringing, i love my parents they love me and everything is happy happy. there'd never be an instance where i had to choose between love and them (extrem cases aside, like say, a heroin addict whore or something. my parents would seriously question my decision. but i've yet to be in such a situation, so i don't really know how my parents would react)

as long as there is "love" the question should be nonexistent. picking your partner in marriage for you is not "love". disinheriting you because you choose your own path is not "love"

e: last paragraph obviously means parental love or love within the family

I can't say "family" or "love" for sure, because - well, if a family is against their child's happiness, can it really be a family? So of course love would come first, but - but family, if it's a real family, IS love. It's born out of love. So it won't oppose love on such stupid grounds (money, inheritance).

That said, I have already broken up with someone in the past thanks to my parents' opposition, but it was because I agreed with them when they pointed out that this person I was seeing wasn't good for me. It wasn't for shallow reasons, but because of certain deceptive/abusive tendencies in him that I was pretending not to see (y'all know that love is blind, right?), but my parents helped me see it and helped me get through it and get over him, and I am so, SO grateful for that. They practically saved my LIFE, as is evinced by the fact that the next woman that guy got into a relationship with ended up having to go to the police for protection, so, YEAH. Parental advice = Good. If it's genuine advice given out of love, anyway.

So sometimes, family has GOOD reasons to oppose "love," if it isn't real love or if it's something you're just mistaking for love because you're too young to know any better. The important thing is to know your family really well, and to know whether they really do love and cherish you, as opposed to just an image of you (as an "heir" or whatever). If they care about you and your happiness as a PERSON, then it is BETTER to follow their advice than to chance it with some flight of passion you might be having.

However, if your family has a weird, unsympathetic, dysfunctional and/or abusive past, then you probably shouldn't listen to them and should just go with whatever your gut feelings are.

Depends on the family, I guess? And on the lover you have at the time, and how they stack up against each other in how much they GENUINELY care about you. Most families do genuinely care, and in my case, I know I would trust my parents' advice unequivocally, because they just want my happiness so much.

Family is always at the top of the pyramid, even when i hate them Thats how it is...
But can you hate your "love" and still prioritize them?
You can drop them but they are always your family. Its premature to drop them without much thought.
Might momentarily leave them but your always back at the end of the century or less.
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In the the situation above i would be selfish and do what i wan't Premature but if i don't get respect what do you expect.

Last edited by fr33noob at 4:44 am, Jul 3 2010

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.

Well my family are usually very supportive of me, even when I mess up, so I would choose them. After all, relationships with lovers can fail but no matter what my family will always be there for me. Granted I can't stand to be around them sometimes but that doesn't me they don't love me or I them. Basically, blood before water. Always. No one else in the world will still be there for you no matter what you do.

________________
The pen is mightier than the sword...and considerably easier to write with.

Family.
There has never been any doubt in my mind; nor will there ever be. I agree with Cuthien Silmeriel 100 per cent. No-one has done more for me than my parents, and no-one can make me smile the way my siblings do. I understand that some people have terrible, abusive families, and therefore aren't privileged enough to choose that option - but thankfully, I'm not one of those unfortunate souls.

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You guys took the words right out of my mouth! My family is my life. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them <3

It depends obviously on the situation. But if my family's reasons for not allowing me to be with her is legitimate and logical then ofcourse family. Most of the time i would choose family unless ofcourse their reason for denying me the choice of being with this girl is illogical and stupid which it won't be if your family truly loves you and is looking out for you like my family does.

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Angel Beats--best anime of the 2010 spring season

Love, because in my case family is just money grubbing psychos. Water over blood.