Here's a page where you can tell us your favourate quotes you've heard in school 😀

I guess I'll start... hmm....
Okay, this one's more like a scenario, but here goes:
*My math teacher notices that someone fell asleep during class, and starts watching him for a while until the whole class quiets down and everyones watching him.
First he says "Does anyone have a camera? If you do, hurry up and take a pictue"
about half the class starts taking pictures as the guy wakes up
"You know, once, I fell asleep during a class in history, my teacher never forgave me, but I'm not angry with you, I just can't understand how you could fall asleep in the middle of something as fun as this" the teacher says as he points on an equation.

"What's this little horse?" about the greek letter Xi

• Some teacher

A math teacher shows how to do something, then skips a part and says "And now we get a 4 that doesn't excist"

A student puts his hand up

"Yes?" the teacher says

"A short question..." the student starts

The teacher quickly replies "You have no short questions, students name "

Cannon Penis

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

I have a notebook of stuff like this (at home, while I'm at school) that my friends and I collected during high school. Most of the ones I remember happened during band class...
"Use your toungs. I know you know how to."
"Blow harder, not faster."
"I've never heard so much sound come from three petit girls."
The rest of the ones I remember are even more perverted (if you're minds in the gutter).
There is a reason band students have the rep they do and it's not entirely American Pie's fault...

I am a breath of insanity in a world of chaos.

Me: Performing Random Acts of Klutziness for over 30 years.

This one was in Chem. class while we were exploding eggs by filling them with hyrogen and then letting a quick flame touch the top of the egg.

Me and my friend are extracting egg yolk
Me: "It's so goey, and sticky!"
Friend: "Yeah, its smells strange too."
Me: "What do we do next?"
Friend: "We have to blow the egg that way all the sticky stuff comes out."
Me: "Oh ok." Does as intructed
Friend: laughs "Seriously, do you realize how perverted this sounds. It's like your precious yaoi manga."
Me: surprised "I never thought about that" 😲
Friend: "Hey don't squeeze it hard, it might break"

🤣 This is gross. Though the egg yolk did smell bad >.>

Quote from XxKumagoroXx

This one was in Chem. class while we were exploding eggs by filling them with hyrogen and then letting a quick flame touch the top of the egg.

Me and my friend are extracting egg yolk
Me: "It's so goey, and sticky!"
Friend: "Yeah, its smells strange too."
Me: "What do we do next?"
Friend: "We have to blow the egg that way all the sticky stuff comes out."
Me: "Oh ok." Does as intructed
Friend: laughs "Seriously, do you realize how perverted this sounds. It's like your precious yaoi manga."
Me: surprised "I never thought about that" 😲
Friend: "Hey don't squeeze it hard, it might break"

🤣 This is gross. Though the egg yolk did smell bad >.>

bwahahahahahaha 🤣 🤣 🤣 Epic!
that pretty much made me die! 🤣

one of my teachers way back was talking about fairy tales and how the numbers are special, like 3, 7, 13 et cetera.
anyways, he was starting go a little off what he had planned, i think, and he was like:

"okay so 3 is a special number, right? and 12 is even more so. for see:"
writes on board
"3*3=12!"
very proud
us:
"ehhhhh" 😕

i still laugh thinking about it 🤣

In my Children's Lit class we had to read several pictures books and analyze them based on...whatever, I'm not going to bored you on that. Anyways, one group had to work on the story about Pegasus and when the prof. asked them to summarized the book, the girl said:

"It's about this boy and how he loved to ride this horse so much that all he ever wanted to do was ride it all day, everyday."

It's not really that funny [unless you're perverted 🤣 ], but the whole class laughed about it. I'm sure my high school classes had so much more interesting and funnier quotes, but I don't remember it much anymore.

From one of my professors at college:
"Research papers: one of the forms of torture not banned by the Geneva convention."

Only decent one that comes to mind atm.

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

• Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain

"Who wants to make some mini tasers!"

"If your hand is bigger than your face, then you have cancer!"

Gay book discussion thread

Quote from you_no_see_me_

this is not about cannibalism...please get back on topic

Quote from Toto

I think it is exactly the topic. I see nothing wrong.

Haha, I love the one about torture and the "blow harder, not faster" 🤣
Seems like this topic was more popular than I expected 😃

In that case, here's another quote

My CAD (Computer Aided Design) teacher walks in and sees his student's working
"Wow, a yellow candlestick, damn, that's ugly!"

My science teacher in 7th grade always called me Flash, since I was the slowest to get out of the classroom

At the end of a english class the teacher says
"Class is over, now get the f**k outta my class!"

Cannon Penis

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

This was years ago back when I was still in school. In English class we watched the movie Muriel's Wedding. When it finished the teacher started asking the class questions.

It was werid enough hearing the teacher ask, "So why did (some character) call the other girls c**k suckers?"

One of the girls in my class raised her hand and being completely serious she proudly answered, "Because they suck the good out of everything."

It wasn't until the whole room burst out laughing she realised what she had said.

A Petaluma man showed his gal a trick
He took a needle full of cocaine and shot it in his prick
They say he got the gangrene the pain it wouldn't stop
And when he took a hot bath that night his pecker floated to the top

Not a quote exactly...

In my business math class we were studying probability, & the prof used the example of putting varying numbers of different colored balls into a box, and then figuring out the probability of drawing out a ball of a specific color. The poor prof looked so confused every time he said something about "blue balls" and half the class started snickering. 🤣 😔

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

[url]http://www.mangaupdates.com/showtopic.php?tid=3859[/url]