As morally reprehensible as cheating is, getting the law involved would be a major problem.

There's the issue of privacy, first — and that's one right we should never let go of, never. (There's a reason a warrant is required in the States to break it.) Then there's the issue of different types of relationships and how they're defined; the problems of when the partners don't see things the same way, the state of the other relationship, the reason for the sexual contact, potential of false allegations, etc. Not to mention the issue of setting bad precedent. And while civil suits are sometimes used for relationships that were supposed to be solid (mostly marriage, since others don't typically leave documentation that may be used as evidence), there's a very good reason it's no longer a criminal offence in the civilized world.

As for STDs — it's typically only legally punishable when either someone knowingly transmitted it to an unknowing partner or when someone found out they had one or might have carried one and consciously decided not to inform those who might be at risk due to that. Not all STDs are exclusively transmitted by sexual contact, not all sexual contact is connected to a relationship on either side, and not all sexual contact is voluntary (i.e. rape). Due to these factors, transmission of an illness of any kind is a separate issue, altogether (and yes, people have been convicted for that kind of behaviour).

Answering "no" does not mean that you don't mind cheating; it means that you don't want the law and government involved. After all, there was a time when adultery was a legal offence in the Americas and Europe (primarily for women, but, to a lesser extent, also for men) — there's a very good reason that civilized countries no longer do so. (Try The Scarlet Letter for starters: the "adulteress" had every reason to think her husband had been lost at sea; he wasn't. There are other cases where one party wants to get rid of the other and so on. Human relationships are complicated, so…) Instead, cheating is solid grounds for divorce with extra compensation for the side that was cheated on (which mattered more when divorce was harder to obtain). And, even for those who do not believe in divorce (e.g. Catholics), depending on the circumstances, it can be solid grounds for legal separation or even annulment. Additionally, cheating is almost always a social taboo, with many cheaters getting their just desserts on a social level.

Answering "yes" is both opening a nasty can of worms and going backwards regarding basic rights.

So, yeah, basic law. Don't ignore it, please.

Last edited by blackluna at 10:40 am, Oct 1 2022

Well not "criminal" like go to jail, but there should be a punishment all the same, maybe an extra fine...if the infedelity results in a divorce sparked by the party that was cheated on. I will say that this should really only apply to marriages where the union is legally binding. Boyfriend, fiance, or whatnot...if your partner cheats on you then that is your problem since you didn't enter a legally binding arrangement with them. However if your union is legally binding, then yeah if someone cheats (and the person seeks a divorce because of this) some compensation from the cheater to the "victim" can be allowed.


Now I say this because ideally it sounds nice, hence the yes. However, I reserve the right to equally state that cheating compared to say embezzlement or burglary is pretty harmless. I think with the current society of holding people's past against them 10 years after an event might make being a "cheater" a tag one can't escape from or redeem themselves of. If the crime was murder, then it's understandable. I think ideally, a person who cheats (again in a marriage) should have to compensate the other party for harm (since you can always separate or divorce/annulment if catholic) but with a specific condition. Person A cheats on Person B, thus Person B is emotionally scarred and prompts to divorce Person A. The courts should fine Person A for cheating as the divorce process continues. If Person B doesn't divorce Person A for infidelity, then no punishment for Person A should be given by the government.


But the question really would boil down, if this process of punishing a cheating spouse won't be abused

If would be abused, since it would require either a loss of privacy or poorly worded legislation to be put into place. And people take advantage of what they can.

Edit: I meant "it would be" (sorry for the typo).

Last edited by blackluna at 5:43 pm, Aug 6 2023

In what country?!

Technically, there's nothing preventing abuse of those laws right now. You mentioned how those laws were enforced until about a century ago, and upon review, those laws still actually exist; with the severest laws in the U.S. being in Idaho, Wisconsin, Michigan, Oklahoma, and Massachusetts. The big question, however, is how they're enforced. Apparently, the last time there was an infidelity lawsuit was over a decade ago. And, since then, how spousal disputes are settled have been entirely flipped on it's head with #MeToo basing it's entire premise around "guilty until proven innocent" regardless of any and all facts.

So, thinking about it, the question seems to be less how they will be enforced and more how will they be judged in court.


Both the articles I linked about STDs were about the U.S., but here's one about England.

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Mobilizing police force for this? LOL, that's insanity.

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grammar mistake is intentional, grammar nazis need their entertainment.

I can see why some would want this to be a law for married couples but I believe this could go wrong very fast with government involvement. The flames of false accusations needs no more fuel. (Whoops typo)

Last edited by MarinBlue27 at 2:59 am, Aug 10 2021

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I agree with you.. But that's why I have a hard time to choose yes and no. 😂 It depends on the context. YES they should be punished by criminal law if they're married and cheating (not to mention when they have children). NO if they're not married..

In the end I decided not to choose either. Lol.

This. This sums it up very nicely. I don't think I need to add anything more.

But I have to say, considering how many people actually appear to cheat, I'm surprised everyone here hates it. I'd think we've got at least some fidelity breakers ourselves here who want to protest their actions.
Then again, being cheated on always sucks.

In my (secondhand) experience, people who engage in infidelity tend to get very upset when the shoe is on the other foot. Generally speaking, I've been unsympathetic to their complaints.

On the other hand, it's still infuriating to hear of cheaters prospering as a result of their cheating. I knew a guy who was having a long-term affair with a married woman, which he broke off after she got pregnant with a third man's children. Her husband, who had apparently been willfully blind to her first affair, finally realized she was unfaithful at that point and divorced her.

She wound up getting child support from all three men, plus took half the husband's assets. (She had 5 children—one from the husband, two from the guy I knew, and twins with the 3rd guy.) Not exactly a disincentive for her behavior.

in a perfect world I would say Yes;
but family law is already so very punitive in most places
you can follow the rules and be an adult, but you still lose all your assets and future income
and that's without cheating.
all the romantic notions about supporting your partner during their difficulties just makes the band-aid harder to pull off when they inevitably don't return to their baseline

there already is real punishment for cheating when you are tried in the court of public opinion; everyone is already familiar with concepts in cancel culture, victim blaming and equity distribution.

I am truly sorry for anyone who finds themselves in a position where their partner doesn't care for them anymore.

I have coworkers who are unhappy in their marriages and cheat with whomever wanders into the office.

Finding a partner when you're no longer 'young & dumb' is an exercise in abject futility

I put yes. I know a bunch of people that had (part of) their lives ruined because of a divorce/ terrible break-up even though they were cheated on. Ex: the person they cheated with beating or inducing someone to beat the other part up, extortion after being cheated, withdrawing the common account ...

Of course I'm considering were talking about adults and in an place where divorce and break-ups are common. I see no excuses for cheating on someone if a break-up is possible. I think there should be some kind of consequence if it wasn't limited to cheating or at least some way to link the legal procedures.

Currently some countries legally reflect the status of couple (even without marriage), with all the legal connotations and terms, they're sometimes open to additional clausules and some paralegal practices. It's a given that the disbandment of a couple is also reflected. It's pretty wild that after getting cheated on, having to pay all the negative consequences for it and some punishable stuff being overlooked because of the couple status.

Of course in the case that divorce isn't a possibility/is stigmatised or the couple was made without the total consent of both parts or a rape is being viewed as an infidelity , I think to problem would lie elsewhere.

Last edited by Joese at 12:32 pm, Aug 8 2021

It's scummy, but I don't see it as something worth going to jail for. There's a thing called holding others accountable for their actions, you don't need to make every thing a law.

While cheating is bad... We don't need more people with criminal records...

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The fact that a lot of people here thinks that it's actually normal and it shouldn't be punished legally, explains the reason behind divorce rate. I just hope that my country won't become like one of those 'modern first world' shitholes.