So, I binged this, in two sittings only because I was ill, up to and including Chapter 127, but unfortunately, the remaining 4 chapters have yet to be translated. I doubt much of interest would happen in them beyond closure, so I’m writing this review having not read them. (I never have the patience to wait for chapters.)
Edit: Finished it!
Lately, I’ve been obsessed with psychological dramas so that I can psycho- (and over-) analyse character motivations, and this manhwa managed to really scratch that itch. The entire story carries an undertone of unease, and I’d say the plot is character-driven and medium-paced. The focus is mostly on the characters' psychology and the drama is uncontrived, though the extended flashbacks did get a bit boring at times. The manhwa also didn’t dive into relationship development (and the accompanying steam) until season 3, which was to my taste since I’m not a fan of steam (gimme R drama but with PG scenes only plz 😭). I also don't really think the title is very reflective of the manhwa itself. Maybe it's a reference to Skylar's love of photography or the characters' escapisms, but oh well.
Characterisation:
Both of the main characters are multifaceted and well-developed, portrayed with vulnerability and insecurity. I really liked how the author themselves stated that they didn't want to confine or limit the characters to defining characteristics such as 'dominant' or 'receptive', and that truly comes across in the nuance with which they’re written.
Cirrus starts off as pretty manipulative, so it's understandable that Skylar hates him. But his backstory is tragic—
he was a lonely kid who became a target, and it’s sadder still that his coping mechanism was to curate a false personality to cover up his true, twisted self in an attempt to seem like he had a healthy, happy life just in order to avoid being exploited again.
Cirrus' insecurities lead him to become co-dependent and obsessive as he grows closer to Skylar,
but his manipulations stemming from his unhealthy possessiveness do eventually get a little comeuppance.
While Cirrus can be self-destructive, he is always the first one to reach out to Skylar. In contrast, Skylar is impulsive, often jumping to conclusions, with his trauma causes him to often run away from his problems.
Skylar begins as the main character but I feel as though it shifted to Cirrus being the main character. Cirrus has a few breakdowns, but those breakdowns help him reshape his personality to one that is more reflective of who he truly is.
Friends in the extended friendship group provided light comic relief with their bicker and snarky comments. Side characters aren't that central to the story, except Chan il.
Chan il saying that Cirrus and him were best friends when reconciling was such a lovely and unexpected scene.
Coming of Age:
This is definitely a coming-of-age story, with both characters battling their past traumas while growing up. Teenage sexual awakening is hard, and the flashback shows how it could go wrong—especially the frustration with parents who try to help but nearly end up making things worse.
There are miscommunications between the main characters, and both have said some pretty mean things to each other. But hey, they’re still growing and learning. They work through their differences and mistakes, deciding to trust each other in the end.
Character Motivations:
Although I don’t think everything the characters do is justifiable, the psychology behind their actions is fascinating.
For example, Minwoo’s motivation for bullying Skylar was that he wanted Skylar to feel as disgusted as Minwoo himself felt.
It’s often twisted, but so interesting how humans may try to justify their actions. I’m also glad that the objects of trauma aren’t shoehorned into the story, appearing only in the flashbacks.
Art:
The art style is especially beautiful in some scenes. Skylar’s character design remains pretty consistent, but Cirrus’ changes a bit too often (his eye colour shifted between red and blue or just blue, and his build seemed to change unexpectedly), which felt a bit disjointed. Personally, I found the emphasis on the characters’ pouty lips a little uncomfortable, but it looked really cool when eyes brightly flashed neon, especially against otherwise darker tones.
Trigger Warnings:
Despite the darker thematic undertones, there aren’t any explicit scenes other than making out (later in the manhwa). However, there is non-consensual and dubious consent (especially at the beginning), heavy themes (including insinuations of child sexual abuse, abusive family members, and severe bullying), and some blood. I’d give it an age rating of 15+.
Quotes:
If the person I like thinks I'm disgusting, [as a homosexual person,] I can't say anything to defend myself.
There's an invisible line between us. We lived in the same home, but we weren't family.
I'm suffocating in this unchanging distance between us.
I'm afraid that you'll lead a normal life and leave me all alone, afraid that you'll find your happiness without me, afraid that I won't be able to go on without you.
If you're this sweet, I might forget what it's like to be alone.
I can't even remember how I managed to live without you.
You and I aren't close enough to be talking behind each others' backs. [LOL]
Who caused you so much pain that you wanted to erase their name from your memory? I'm jealous, you'll probably remember him forever.
I want to be everything for you. The best and the worst person you knew.
I'm so cold [but not because of the rain...]
I wished for your happiness, but I believed that I couldn't make you happy.
He is slowly finding a path of his own. You won't have to worry about him, just watch and you'll see.
Candy, your soft gazes and your warm cuddles are what kept me from falling apart. [😭🐶💕]
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