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Yabai Kimochi  
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From DMP:

Toru is a shy and quiet student who has developed a special crush on his close friend Ryoji, the most popular member of the high school swim team. In front of Ryoji, Toru hides his feelings and acts as if he is just one of Ryoji's good friends, but in a moment out of the blue his world will be turned upside down as Ryoji will confess a secret desire for Toru. Dazzled, Toru can barely hide his excitement for Ryoji and quickly accepts his offer. As time passes, Toru's happiness begins to fade knowing that his affair with Ryoji was just a fling based out of Ryoji's sexual curiosity.
Toru, adamant about his feelings for Ryoji, confides in another one of his close friend, Kashiwazaki, about his dilemma. The two set off to devise a plan to test Ryoji's true intentions by faking a romantic relationship. Soon after, a frustrated and jealous Ryoji attempts to pry Toru out of the arms of Kashiwazaki. Is it just as they planned? Yeah! That is of course until Toru realizes Kashiwazaki wasn't really faking! How could he not have seen it coming?
Both Toru and Ryoji have hidden their feelings from each other in the past, but now they have discovered that they were not the only ones. Will Toru and Ryoji be reunited or will their true feelings for each other go unfulfilled?


Related Series
Yabai Kimochi (Novel) (Alternate Story)

Associated Names
Desire (HONAMI Yukine)

Groups Scanlating

Latest Release(s)
c.extra by me&cie over 10 years ago
v.1 c.2 by Peccatore Sanctuary over 11 years ago
v.1 c.1 by Peccatore Sanctuary over 11 years ago
Search for all releases of this series

Status in Country of Origin
1 Volume (Complete)

Completely Scanlated?

Anime Start/End Chapter

User Reviews


User Rating
Average: 8.1 / 10.0 (363 votes)
Bayesian Average: 7.97 / 10.0
 24% (88 votes)
 22% (80 votes)
 25% (90 votes)
 14% (51 votes)
 8% (29 votes)
 2% (9 votes)
 1% (2 votes)
 1% (5 votes)
 1% (3 votes)
 2% (6 votes)

Last Updated
April 23rd 2016, 3:12am PST



Category Recommendations





Original Publisher

Serialized In (magazine)

Licensed (in English)

English Publisher
Juné (1 Volume - Complete/Print)

Activity Stats (vs. other series)
Weekly Pos #547 increased(+269)
Monthly Pos #1225 increased(+597)
3 Month Pos #3601 decreased(-68)
6 Month Pos #4630 increased(+492)
Year Pos #5433 increased(+1389)

List Stats
On 112 reading lists
On 194 wish lists
On 1125 completed lists
On 10 unfinished lists
On 243 custom lists

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User Comments [ Order by usefulness ]

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I Want to Like This   
Rating: 8.0 / 10.0
by toastmuncher
April 15th, 2017, 5:51am
I do. I really do want to like this. The art (especially the art with all its subtlety and tenderness) and premise interest me greatly and the metaphor of the desire/blue to give thematic coherence to the manga really moves me.
But the characterizations of Toru and Ryoji kill it for me. While I find them endearing
on one level (the sweet, pushy, idiot one), still I find them exasperating on another
level (grow a spine, the world isn't made for you, and be more sensitive). Also, Tadashi and Kashiwazaki characters, especially Kashiwazaki's, could have added more depth to the story and the main pair as well.
Though I will say that the ending resolution didn't feel rushed or forced to me. It was the ending note that actually make me like it so much.
I just wish that Ryoji wasn't such a douche.
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I don't even know what to rate this   
Rating: N/A
by timenchips
September 1st, 2014, 4:37am
The story telling was pretty amazing and so was the art. But at the same time, the plot was just---AHHH. Was Toru blind? His love interest was 100%, without a doubt the embodiment of cheating scum. I don't understand what Toru saw in him at all. Forget being a love interest, I don't even see how he thought what's-his-face even qualified as a decent human being. Someone below said that the good guys lost out, and I could not have worded it better myself. I just don't understand how the story progressed the way it did. Toward the end it definitely felt like the author forced the relationships to turn out the way they did rather than just letting the story progress naturally.
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Rating: N/A
by OmNom
April 2nd, 2014, 12:05am
Wow, I'm surprised that I actually managed to finish this manga without going insane. Seriously, I know a lot will disagree with me here, but boy was the story frustrating. And then to add on to the list, the characters are completely intolerable to the point it drove me crazy. Gosh I could feel my brain cells die from the pain it received after reading this.

Okay, rants aside, even from the beginning of the manga I already had a vague idea of how this story was going to turn out. I wouldn't say that it's too predictable, and the story telling is actually quite good in my opinion, but that alone couldn't help the volume from turning out a little anti-climatic in the end. The resolution definitely felt a bit forced and convenient. That said, I must say the subtle humour scattered here and there throughout the story is pretty enjoyable, and although the artwork is a little dated, it suits this school-life-themed manga about boys in love quite well.

Now about the characters, I have to acknowledge I haven't come across such a douche of a character like the one here in a while, and his 'love interest' (or rather f*ck interest, seriously, where the hell did all the love come from) didn't help to save the situation one bit with his indecisiveness and helplessness. It's so frustrating, and frankly annoying, that they end up together with a happy ending, while the real good guys always lose out in the end. Oh well, considering how they both managed to annoy me so much, I guess they really were made for each other after all..? Hah.

... Last updated on December 9th, 2014, 3:25pm
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too much shoujo   
Rating: N/A
by gwkimmy
November 16th, 2013, 12:25am
lovely art, but read just like a shoujo with a spineless uke and a selfish and pushy seme. almost NO development of any characters, just some drama rama we're expected to care about. typical jealousy plot, but with a character so bland and flaky i didnt care about him at all and forgot his name.

yawn, disappointed.
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OOOHHH...!!! \(´▽`)/   
Rating: 10.0 / 10.0
by fisukisuki
March 10th, 2012, 5:59am
I want to cry! I don't think that this manga would be so touching...
I think they will continue to be trapped into a misunderstanding. Fortunately it's not like that in the end. I'm happy, this manga is not as I imagined. If this manga is really like what I imagine, I would definitely decrease the rating! It's like the real life, the love that they felt.
I would love to recommend this manga to everyone who love ' drama love story'! smile

... Last updated on March 10th, 2012, 5:59am
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what with the summary!!!!   
Rating: 9.0 / 10.0
by whitespade
January 12th, 2012, 3:50pm
thats like telling 75% of the story >.< i still feel excitement when reading this but too bad its not due to plot progression because i already know what happen next. overall, this is quite a sweet angsty hot manga. i especially love the art that is quite...i dont know, whimsical? it make the hazy feelings of the characters even more heavy and melancholic. i like the characters, they are likeable in their own way. nice to read a seme that is very dominant but not completely overwhelming, and uke that is weak but master to his own feelings and considerate 'rival' that make the story smoother without tiring drama. overall, a good story!
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Desire - Novel   
Rating: N/A
by sevLight
December 26th, 2011, 8:40pm
Personally, I LOVED it. I paint in pastels and that last earlobe reference rated a really long awwwwwww. I'm dying to get my hands on the manga that came before the novel - If anyone knows a source would you please pass it on?
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Rating: 6.0 / 10.0
by Namiya
October 17th, 2011, 1:29pm
Well... I enjoy a good BL manga with tragedy, hurt, wrong decisions, jerk characters and so on so I'm not completely against this one. Still, Ryoji was a major bastard and I wish he had gotten what he deserves for acting the way he did. The uke was way too nice and forgiving.
Spoiler (mouse over to view)
The issue with letting himself being persuaded into trying out sex like that is so-so. Nowadays teens younger than that sleep around without even crushing on someone, so I don't think that is unrealistic. Personally though, I think he should have just told Ryoji to go to hell and gotten happy with the art club president, lol...

Anyways, the art is very good. Storywise I would only recommend this to someone who looks for a character to seriously hate!
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not in love with it, but it's still good   
Rating: 8.0 / 10.0
by pleochroic
April 7th, 2011, 10:49am
i'm rereading this after several years, and i think it holds up well in comparison to much other BL i've read since. emo high school stories are a dime a dozen, but this one actually has a fair bit of character development. mostly in touru, who is a pushover at the start, but has by the end of it pulled himself together and is doing the right thing for himself and towards others. i quite like touru even though i am generally not fond of doormats, but he's young, he's generally a decent guy, and he does learn from his experiences (which is more than can be said for most BL characters). ryouji i am not as fond of, mostly because he neither thinks very hard about what the right thing to do might be, nor considers other people's feelings sufficiently. but hey, he's a teenager, what can you do; it's certainly not unrealistic. and he isn't an utter jerk, but kazumi didn't do a good enough job of showing that; she mostly tells us through touru's words how nice ryouji generally is to touru, which isn't as effective as showing us. so yes, ryouji does care about touru, it's just that his brain switches off when he gets that idiot idea about sleeping with him out of curiosity. i think its pretty clear that he has special feelings for touru even before that, he just has no clue about them; he comes to realise them a bit at a time. and indeed, he doesn't treat the girlfriend well, but that, too, isn't unrealistic -- and at least he does break up with her when he figures out that touru matters to him rather more than he originally realised.

technically the pacing is off towards the end, because everything resolves pretty much in a flash; woops -- if you blink you'll miss it. the art is typical honami; sensitive and uncluttered; i always like it and this is no exception.

i don't exactly love this manga, but i think it is an above average representative of the emo high school romance. the novel has additional material that continues the story beyond the end of the manga; if you like the manga, you'll probably like the novel as well.
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i neither hate it nor love it   
Rating: N/A
by juls91
March 28th, 2011, 7:55pm
i like the art and i liked other sotry by this magaka so well i read this one...
In the other story i complained about too much talk to the point of not wanting to read, just wanted see what was happening(i still read it all but u know it was a bit tiresome soo mcuh talk). In this one.. well 4 chapters everything happened right there, and there was no real climax...
the less likable character would be obviously Ryo, not that i hated him, but as others said he was a bit too rough, insensitive; so toru saying ryo cared about him and all that was a bit"what really?"
but his nice side was shown sometimes. I think the mangaka wanted too much for just 4 chapters and for the characters to be this and that and still this blah blah...
Anw, it was fine xD

... Last updated on March 28th, 2011, 7:56pm
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