Spoilers below.
This is an unlikable to redemption MC story and for the first chapters I really struggled, I felt like Nokyoung was only being kind to reach a goal and avoid his fate, not actual trying to learn how to be kind or why what he did was wrong. But I also don't think you have to automatically know how or why to be kind to do it. I also struggled to grasp Nokyoung's character amidst the flashbacks of him being terrible and the current time where he was trying to be completely different. Like, who IS Nokyoung? But by the end I felt satisfied with how things played out, and I even went back to reread certain bits and had a greater understanding of Junil in particular. I think who Nokyoung was by the end was who he'd have always been if he hadn't lost his mother, but if he hadn't lost her he wouldn't have become so close with Junil in his second chance.
I think Nokyoung should've told Sangho about his regression or at least the story he told Junil about Shamanism and seeing the future. It would've made things easier on both of them.
I honestly found Nokyoung ugly for a while, and I'm not big on the shiny lips look in general, but found him cute by the end. Also, I feel like it's rare to see uke with big dicks too (lol maybe they just lightsabred it so much it looks big).
Nokyoung is confident in his looks and brags about them but it never felt obnoxious to me, and Junil teases Nokyoung a lot, and later is doting. Nokyoung can go head to head with Junil but he also pouts when things don't go his way, which I'm sure Junil finds hilarious. 😂 But Junil is also really kind.
Speaking on the sex scenes, I felt like this speaks more about my tastes but I kinda liked the sex scene from the past more than the future sex. Junil stopping Nokyoung from coming was hot okay, and the intense look on his face like he could hardly bear it...whew! Though I do like when Junil gets worked up in the future at the things Nokyoung does or says, like when Nokyoung says he took advantage of Junil in the past and Junil is basically like 'hawt'. 🤣
I really could've done without the Hyunjae x Hanil sex scenes, did they have to show them in such detail?
I like how complicated Hyunjae and Nokyoung's relationship was. Hyunjae found Nokyoung when he was a teenager living alone because his mom died when he was young and his dad ran away, leaving his debt on Nokyoung's shoulders. Hyunjae paid off that debt in return for Nokyoung becoming an actor under him. From then on he controlled Nokyoung by a carrot-stick method of seduction over and over again, making Nokyoung believe he had a chance with his savior and doing terrible things in his name and because of his insecurities until it all comes to a head when his face is ruined by an acid attack, Hyunjae takes one look at him and abandons him, and Nokyoung commits suicide at having lost his anchor. I'm no expert but I do believe this was a case of grooming. One of the other antogonists working with Hyunaje was more your typical 'attack things head on' villain but Hyunaje truly manipulated and controlled his way through Nokyoung's psyche. Even when Nokyoung went back, each time he had to be in Hyunjae's presence he struggled with going back into that place of subservience, but he had that memory of Hyunaje's face he saw him in the hospital and was able to push back.
I was really surprised when Hyunjae slept with a guy but it turns out in the webnovel he was sleeping with a woman, not a man, and he's straight. Maybe they didn't want to draw het sex scenes or thought it wouldn't go over well, but that would've made way more sense, especially when Hyunjae started wanting Nokyoung and was struggling.
There were definitely times where I had to suspend my disbelief (that whole sex party thing wtf Nokyoung) but overall I really enjoyed it. Also, I really enjoyed how the epilogues covered any loose ends and you got to see them being absolutely heartwarming as an established couple. :')
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