but u still just HAD to write that?-_-

This is like entirely a misconception women have about something they glorify.

For one thing look at the way the character Barney Stinson is portrayed on How I met your Mother.. or maybe a fictional example isn't good. The point is guys DON'T think that's the correct behavior for themselves. That doesn't make someone The Man or anything.

Especially when it involves lying or general scum tactics, or disregard for people in relationships. Honesty and not having a guy willing to sleep with your girlfriend are pretty much big pluses.

That aside it's impressive when a guy is comfortable talking to women(and having an easy time getting a date because who wouldn't want it to go smoothly), and that's the extent of it. He doesn't actually have to sleep around a lot.

And the reason its impressive? Well I remember this article about a lesbian that dressed up like a man, and she realized how horrible it can be. Especially in a setting where a woman is judging multiple men quite rapidly(like a Club ect).

A rather embarrassing question
I was just chilling with a female friend and she started massaging and touching me all of a sudden, I couldn't help it but to get awkward boner while she was doing it, even though I have zero sexual interest towards her.
She seemingly saw my boner and put on a poker face and she left saying she had something to do.
the next day we are back to normal.
do you think she's disgusted with me? it's not a big problem but losing a friend is such a shame. moreover if she starts talking about this with her friends

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i have no idea what she felt like when she saw the boner but i can gurantee you she told her friends
i know a group of girls who are friends with this one guy, he got a boner once when talking to one of the girls in that group and eventhough the girls are good friends with the guy they all made fun of him for a while(without him knowing) but everyone forgot about it later...they still hang out with him and nothing changed
sorry if this is depressing but im sure she'll forget about it soon and i dont think it will affect your friendship in any way

ouch...
but seeing that you as a third party still remember that incident, I can't imagine that group of friends has forgotten it.. and it also applies to my case.
ah I'll just pretend to be ignorant in front of them from now on. hazukashiiii
thank you for your answer

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You must also consider that sarah(...) is not your age. I doubt a 19 y/o girl from almost any culture would go around telling her friends.
I agree that she may take it for something more than it is, but I also don't think it is "proof" enough for her to take any action.


I'm not a girl

true but if its about age im 2 years younger than the girls in my batch so most of these girls are 18
and trust me (most)girls talk a lot about people. this girl might not go around and spread the news but im sure she'll atleast share this with her close friends(who in turn, might share this with their close friends )

@whatnot
dont worry im sure she kind of feels awkward too since she's the one who initiated the whole thing. if shes a real friend she'll definitely understand that you dont have any feelings for her and that this whole situation was her fault. this will atleast teach her not to be too comfortable with her guy friends, and yeah just ignore it and it'll pass and soon you'll both forget about it.

It's just that I can picture a conversation like that

Close Friend: XXXX said me that Whatname got a boner while being massaged by her
Close Friend's friend: OMG! I need to tell this to TTTTT.

Or


Close Friend: XXXX said me that Whatname got a boner while being massaged by her
Close Friend's friend: Oh! (OMG! I need to tell this to TTTTT.)

Really, it's pretty pitiful. All I can relate to this conversation is a Duckface and a Fake Tan.

Well, I hope in some days it will be an "Oh God Why?" moment at worst. Just try not to overhink, its the worst you can do in that kind of situation.

haha people need to stop relating what they see in 90210, gossip girl and other crap shows to real life
its just that she'll probably go and tell her close friend(s) about this and ask them what they think of it and wat shes supposed to do, they might laugh about it for a while too but eventually they'll forget about it.

wow sarah.. you're sixteen? I failed to notice it the last time I visited your profile.
What are you doing here in 18+ forum?

ah, my female friend's 22 years old by the way.


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so? i replied to your question because i've seen a very similar situation take place

I didn't know what 90210 and gossip girl where until now, not very popular in my country. I don't believe every girl is like that, that is why I said it made me think about duck faces and fake tans.

Huum... I have been dating the same girl for some years and while I can say that I can understand most of her thinking and actions, her girl to girl relationships remain a mistery to me, so I suppose I'm in no position to discuss with you what she might do.


This conversation brought a question to my mind( I'm generalizing but it may only be true to my girlfriend, I don't know):

Why would you share all the small things with your friends and when it comes to important things you would only talk about them with your boyfriend? Not trusting your friends?

To me, it is always the contrary, my friends know basically nothing of my daily life, but I always trust them whenever things get harsh.

im answering this question based on my personal thoughts(i dont know how other girls feel about this so i wont generalize my answer)
i dont have a boyfriend atm but over the past few years most of my friendships grew fragile...probably because of the subject of your question
urmm how should i put it...i dont feel like my friends would understand my problems anymore since our mentalities arent as compatible as they used to be
so i mostly only talk about petty daily life stuff than important stuff
but this has a lot to do with the fact that im graduating from school at the end of this year and will part ways with most of them(so naturally most of them are changing, and i dont feel like i would gain anything out of trying to strengthen my friendships again)
i have to admit though that i dont really like to talk about important things with anyone besides my father or brother

Last edited by sarah-eats-cupcakes at 10:56 am, Feb 25 2012

Unless she's too embarrassed talking about stuff like that with her friends, I'm sure she will have told someone about it; she might not have shared it with her entire group of friends, but she'll probably have told her best friend by now. Girls talk; that's just what girls do...it's sad but it's true. Not like men are any better, because they do it too; maybe not in the same way, but I can say from my observations that men gossip too. When something unusual happens, we have to talk about it to get it out of our system.

That being said, you shouldn't bring it up again and just pretend it never happened; that's most likely what she'll be doing too. Let sleeping dogs lie; if you try to talk this out, you'll most likely only make it worse. Considering she's 22, she'll probably have understood that it's just a natural physical reaction that was caused by her getting touchy feely.
Also, whoever she tells will most likely not let you know that she knows about it.
So, just move on as if nothing ever happened.

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I think it depends where you come from. I have noticed English girls like American accented men....There is an affinity in between. I on the other hand LOOOOOOVE the pimpin kind of grooviness...I am Indian- teh Asian kind..with a love for hiphop.. I dislike the loud kinds tho...



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