like treat the characters like real people, represent them better, their struggles being a sexual minority, etc.

E.g: Ao no Flag, Koimonogatari, I Hear the Sunspot, Here U Are, Doukyuusei, Given

Shimanami Tasogare
Smells like green spirit
Dear brother
Konbini-kun.
Hatsukoi Wa Gunjou Ni Tokeru
La esperanca
Hishakai shindo
Usagi no Mori
Kono Koi ni Mirai wa nai
Senpai
Bokura ga Koi wo Ushinau Riyuu
Slow starter (Ichikawa Kei)
What did you eat yesterday?
Dining bar akira

Any work but the following authors
Hidaka Shoko
Yamashita Tomoko
Bikke
Nishida Higashi
Hideyoshico
Tagura Tohru
Hayakawa Nojiko

Actually a lot of older shounen-ai (pre-2005) are realistic and very mild. Same goes for older yaoi. 🙂

Quote from z_goes_undercover

Shimanami Tasogare
Smells like green spirit
Dear brother
Konbini-kun.
Hatsukoi Wa Gunjou Ni Tokeru
La esperanca
Hishakai shindo
Usagi no Mori
Kono Koi ni Mirai wa nai
Senpai
Bokura ga Koi wo Ushinau Riyuu
Slow starter (Ichikawa Kei)
What did you eat yesterday?
Dining bar akira

Any work but the foll ...

Wow! Tysm!! 😀

I’m pretty sure it’s yaoi, but Dear Green is still probably the most realistic gay manga I've read 100% recommend!

This doesn't contain homophobia, but the characters are written "seriously" and there's not the typical top/bottom dynamic you see in most yaoi:

On Doorstep by CTK