Quote from mixxi

thanks a lot everybody^^ i respect your comments and i know im a bit to fussy 😛 and needy

sorry for that^^

and i know i cant change people.. but the feeling of wanting to be careed about.. wanting to matter is there... yet even though everybody is indifferent i wish they cared about me

i know its stupid but this is how i feel and i cant and will not change that

yes, we do care for you,
that's why all those people and me (of course) here on your thread, writing reply.

[img]https://i.imgur.com/lHjrfaR.jpg[/img]

The birthday thing is a silly way to test your friendships. Birthdays are hard to remember and everyone has a lot going on in their lives, you know? 🙂 Its not that they don't care about you. Remind them about your birthday if you don't want to celebrate it alone.

Also, I think you should say something about your concerns to your friends. All keeping it to yourself does is make you more depressed. Plus, (I'm taking a leap here, I might be wrong) it sounds like you have more insecurities with yourself than you do with the actual friendship. Sometimes low self esteem makes us more paranoid about things like that.

Happy future 20th birthday.

I wouldn't pin your whole friendship on whether or not they remember your birthday. Life is hectic and I'm always forgetting birthdays, even of my cloest friends.

However, you obviously need to examine the friendship. If they don't bother to contact you, hang out together and don't invite you or really pay any attention to you, they're not your friends. I judge my friendship how who will be there if I need them, and who I'm willing to be there for.

I relate with your need to test your friends, 10 years of bullying left me with huge trust and insercurity issues so I'm constantly testing my friends, even when I don't realise it. As we got older, my friendship group got smaller but we are closer than ever. They are the people I would do anything for, and I know are the ones I can count on in a time of need. So I forget a birthday, give presents 6 months late and have occassionally forgotten to pass along a message, those things don't matter to friends.

What I'm trying to say is that it isn't remembering your birthday which makes someone your friend, especially if you don't remind them. It's who is there for you, who you enjoy being with, who makes you feel good about yourself and who you can trust to be brutally honest when it's needed. If your friends make you doubt yourself, feel bad about yourself or if it seems more of a chore than a pleasure to hang out with them, maybe it's time to try and make new friends. Not that you should throw in the towel straight away, have you tried talking to your friends, maybe they don't even realise how you feel. I know I have often been shocked at the perception of my best friend, she will often be hurt by what I considered an inconsequential event. Maybe your friends are so used to you contacting them, they assume that if you don't it means you're busy. I would at least point out that you feel like no one keeps you in the loop and any other problems you have with them. I mean, there was a reason you started hanging out in the first place and the fact you're hurt means you care enough to want to hang out with them in the future as well.

Think of friendship like love, for all it's ups and down, being with friends should be enjoyable, but that requires a little effort, a little compromise and a lot of communication. No one is a mind reader.

I hope you work things out. Happy 20th Birthday for the day and you should always celebrate the day you came into this world, even if you have to organise your own party!!!

The pen is mightier than the sword...and considerably easier to write with.

Quote from CuthienSilmeriel

I wouldn't pin your whole friendship on whether or not they remember your birthday. Life is hectic and I'm always forgetting birthdays, even of my cloest friends.

However, you obviously need to examine the friendship. If they don't bother to contact you, hang out together and don't invite you or really pay any attention to you, they're not your friends. I judge my friendship how who will be there if I need them, and who I'm willing to be there for.

I relate with your need to test your friends, 10 years of bullying left me with huge trust and insercurity issues so I'm constantly testing my friends, even when I don't realise it. As we got older, my friendship group got smaller but we are closer than ever. They are the people I would do anything for, and I know are the ones I can count on in a time of need. So I forget a birthday, give presents 6 months late and have occassionally forgotten to pass along a message, those things don't matter to friends.

What I'm trying to say is that it isn't remembering your birthday which makes someone your friend, especially if you don't remind them. It's who is there for you, who you enjoy being with, who makes you feel good about yourself and who you can trust to be brutally honest when it's needed. If your friends make you doubt yourself, feel bad about yourself or if it seems more of a chore than a pleasure to hang out with them, maybe it's time to try and make new friends. Not that you should throw in the towel straight away, have you tried talking to your friends, maybe they don't even realise how you feel. I know I have often been shocked at the perception of my best friend, she will often be hurt by what I considered an inconsequential event. Maybe your friends are so used to you contacting them, they assume that if you don't it means you're busy. I would at least point out that you feel like no one keeps you in the loop and any other problems you have with them. I mean, there was a reason you started hanging out in the first place and the fact you're hurt means you care enough to want to hang out with them in the future as well.

Think of friendship like love, for all it's ups and down, being with friends should be enjoyable, but that requires a little effort, a little compromise and a lot of communication. No one is a mind reader.

I hope you work things out. Happy 20th Birthday for the day and you should always celebrate the day you came into this world, even if you have to organise your own party!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!!

you understand exactly how i feel^^ 😀 i also used to get bullied a lot^^
but i dont want to talk to them about it... im scared... i dont tell them my secrets or my pains

the true me is ugly and scarred and i have been betrayed ot much by people close to me

my brother sexually harrassed me... my dad threw me down the stairs once and my mom bashed my head into the wall... my best friend passed away... i got stalked.. harrassed

i cant talk about it with them... but i wish i could

but they would judge me as weak....... stupid and lame i guess

i wish i could break my walls down... but im scared to show them my true me........... the true me is ugly and stupid

besides^^ they already have other stuff planned on my birthday so there wont be a party^^ problem solved 🙂

Quote from mixxi

soon it will be my 20st birthday^^

yet funny enough i am not planning to celebate it with my friends nor even tell them...

when we talk or meet its because i contact them.... and it makes me feel a void inside
i didnt even hear that our weekly meetings were gonna take place once in the 2 weeks now...

but everybody else but me is still seeing each other...
if tthey even forget my birthday... i think i will be devasted with sadness

but i guess i already am... maybe im shallow.. and i do think they care about me

i really dont know what i must do.... tell them or not tell them?

would it be right to test them or wrong..

WHY SHOULD I EVEN WANT TO TEST THEM IF THEY ARE TRUE FRIENDS 😕

Cool story bro.

[img]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/the-burden/jamesbcopy.jpg[/img]

Lol.... true friends has nothing to do with them remembering your birthday... To some people it may be part of it, but remembering it doesn't determine if they're true friends or not. As long as you keep in touch with each other, talk, hang out, when they got your back... I think those are factors that play into friendship.

[img]https://i.imgur.com/cWeUK2w.png[/img]

Quote from LawX

You are like the dense main character in a shoujo manga.

Quote from Crenshinibon

And you will murder someone one day, pika. If you're my daughter.

Geez...being devastated over the fact that your friends don't remember your birthday?
So what?
No, really, so what?
Why the need for such attention?
So if they don't remember one insignificant date, they're not true friends?

WOMEN.

[img]http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa229/azrinirza/makotoshinkai1_zpse3901c5a.gif[/img]
Everyday I'm tumblin'

Quote from mixxi

soon it will be my 20st birthday^^

yet funny enough i am not planning to celebate it with my friends nor even tell them...

when we talk or meet its because i contact them.... and it makes me feel a void inside
i didnt even hear that our weekly meetings were gonna take place once in the 2 weeks now...

but everybody else but me is still seeing each other...
if tthey even forget my birthday... i think i will be devasted with sadness

but i guess i already am... maybe im shallow.. and i do think they care about me

i really dont know what i must do.... tell them or not tell them?

would it be right to test them or wrong..

WHY SHOULD I EVEN WANT TO TEST THEM IF THEY ARE TRUE FRIENDS 😕

You say your nearly 20...Perhaps it's not too early to start acting like a 20yr old?
Friends can forget. I know i do. Doesn't mean i don't care. The only people who "should" absolutly know are your family. You could test them i guess.

I think on my last birthday i had to be reminded 2-1 day before that it was coming up, totally and completly forgot about it.
I can never understand why people place so much importance on a day...

[img]http://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k528/fr33noob/on3winged9.jpg[/img]
I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
[img]http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/26.jpg[/img]

Quote from fr33noob

Quote from mixxi

soon it will be my 20st birthday^^

yet funny enough i am not planning to celebate it with my friends nor even tell them...

when we talk or meet its because i contact them.... and it makes me feel a void inside
i didnt even hear that our weekly meetings were gonna take place once in the 2 weeks now...

but everybody else but me is still seeing each other...
if tthey even forget my birthday... i think i will be devasted with sadness

but i guess i already am... maybe im shallow.. and i do think they care about me

i really dont know what i must do.... tell them or not tell them?

would it be right to test them or wrong..

WHY SHOULD I EVEN WANT TO TEST THEM IF THEY ARE TRUE FRIENDS 😕

You say your nearly 20...Perhaps it's not too early to start acting like a 20yr old?
Friends can forget. I know i do. Doesn't mean i don't care. The only people who "should" absolutly know are your family. You could test them i guess.

I think on my last birthday i had to be reminded 2-1 day before that it was coming up, totally and completly forgot about it.
I can never understand why people place so much importance on a day...

Exactly this. I never remember anyones birthday even close family. These people who I am friends with are still very much best friends with me even though we never really remember each others birthday.

Face it you only have like 1 more meaningful birthday which is becoming 21 and from there onwards is pretty much just staying alive and thinking about having a career, kids and settling down with a partner.

[img]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/the-burden/jamesbcopy.jpg[/img]

Quote from the-burden

Quote from fr33noob

Quote from mixxi

soon it will be my 20st birthday^^

yet funny enough i am not planning to celebate it with my friends nor even tell them...

when we talk or meet its because i contact them.... and it makes me feel a void inside
i didnt even hear that our weekly meetings were gonna take place once in the 2 weeks now...

but everybody else but me is still seeing each other...
if tthey even forget my birthday... i think i will be devasted with sadness

but i guess i already am... maybe im shallow.. and i do think they care about me

i really dont know what i must do.... tell them or not tell them?

would it be right to test them or wrong..

WHY SHOULD I EVEN WANT TO TEST THEM IF THEY ARE TRUE FRIENDS 😕

You say your nearly 20...Perhaps it's not too early to start acting like a 20yr old?
Friends can forget. I know i do. Doesn't mean i don't care. The only people who "should" absolutly know are your family. You could test them i guess.

I think on my last birthday i had to be reminded 2-1 day before that it was coming up, totally and completly forgot about it.
I can never understand why people place so much importance on a day...

Exactly this. I never remember anyones birthday even close family. These people who I am friends with are still very much best friends with me even though we never really remember each others birthday.

Face it you only have like 1 more meaningful birthday which is becoming 21 and from there onwards is pretty much just staying alive and thinking about having a career, kids and settling down with a partner.

And hope your collegues don't know your bday. When treat them become such obligation which will empty your pocket. At least here in my place. Yes, I'm cheap..

[img]https://i.imgur.com/lHjrfaR.jpg[/img]