I love Japanese and the way it sounds, but I would never want a magical change of my primary language (which is English). I think English sounds the nicest, to my ear, anyway.

I don't think so. I really appreciate being a native English speaker. I've met too many people who would love to have English as their primary language. In fact, some would kill for it. And I'm sure I'd have to work through hell to learn it just like they do if it wasn't my native language. I've learned Spanish and Chinese, so if I really had a use for it, I probably would learn Japanese, but even then I probably wouldn't care to speak it at a native level.