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Post #62103 - Reply to (#61136) by zhengcano
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7:12 am, Sep 28 2007
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Quote from zhengcano
Well, the thing is that most guys view virginity as a thing to take, so in a lot of their opinions, having a girl's virginity is like owning her in a sort of way.


Haven't met a guy who was like this, but of course i don't talk with all that many people about their views of taking somebodys virginity. And i might be hanging with the wrong crowd.

Post #62148 - Reply to (#62103) by bully_jesus
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11:25 am, Sep 28 2007
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Quote from bully_jesus
Quote from zhengcano
Well, the thing is that most guys view virginity as a thing to take, so in a lot of their opinions, having a girl's virginity is like owning her in a sort of way.


Haven't met a guy who was like this, but of course i don't talk with all that many people about their views of taking somebodys virginity. And i might be hanging with the wrong crowd.


I see it as more of an unconscious thing that goes through most guys' head. I'm not saying that guys are jerks or that I'm a man-hater (been called one a few times), but it does happen.

Post #62428 - Reply to (#61954) by amaranthine
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12:07 am, Sep 29 2007
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Quote from amaranthine
By your logic, if men are genetically programmed to focus on leaving descendants in order to have higher chances of survival, then natural selection would favor those who can produce more progenies, like quintiplets or something. But evolution is more complicated than that.

Human bodies are really only designed for single births, or twins at most - and even twins can put a pretty severe strain on the mom's system. The more babies a woman is pregnant with at the same time, the higher the chances of problems & the earlier the babies are born, which often leads to the babies being small & sick & sometimes dying. So even though more babies at once may *sound* like it would increase the population faster, unless you've got pretty good medical care around, it wouldn't (or at least not dramatically).

Think about it this way - one man and five women, stranded on a desert island, can produce five offspring in a year (assuming single births & all are capable of reproduction). One woman and five men, stranded on a desert island, can produce one offspring in a year (same assumptions). Speaking in terms of preserving DNA by reproducing, there's no advantage to a woman having sex with more than one man - she can produce one baby per year, regardless. For a man, though, the more women he has sex with, the more offspring with his DNA can be produced per year. That's looking at humans simply as animals obsessed with reproduction and not taking into account emotions, consciousness, modern society, etc. of course.

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2:00 am, Sep 29 2007
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I understand that, but that really wasn’t the point of my post. As you’ve said, there are many factors to consider. And there really isn't one definitive way that evolution works (other than it favors the fittest). There are many animals that mate for life, so the argument that men must have sex with as many women as possible to leave tons of descendants is shaky (I’m not saying that we should only have one partner, just an example that there are many different ways to look at it).

Even if evolution works that way, I still don’t see how that justifies the unequal treatment of men and women on the issue of sexuality. That was the point I was trying to make… like when I said that the evidences he offered were all just an excuse. I’m really bad at this stuff, huh? laugh

Post #62448
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2:36 am, Sep 29 2007
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Oh oh... I just thought of a decent argument for your question... sorta.

As you are under the impression that men see a womans virginity as something to, "take." I will point out why some men are threatened/biased against highly sexually active women. Though, it may not be a very good point...

Since we men are mostly instinctual creatures. When some men hear about a active female. You could consider it a partial, "Dog In Heat," scenario. Some of the men won't care about her history at all... While some others won't acknowledge her at all. Whether it be shyness or disgust. The ones shying away are probably instinctively considering their own history and whether she will either have excess baggage from a previous encounter with a rotten guy... or whether she will compare him to others she's had(this last one is usually the main reason).

...and I have run out of ideas to continue this... so meh.. comment -_-'

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10:46 pm, Oct 9 2007
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well yes i do agree with the comparing part, its just that feeling that lurks around! and if you really like a girl you obviously want to be the best for her...the more shes had the lesser chance u have =/

Quote from amaranthine
Even if evolution works that way, I still don’t see how that justifies the unequal treatment of men and women on the issue of sexuality. That was the point I was trying to make… like when I said that the evidences he offered were all just an excuse. I’m really bad at this stuff, huh? laugh


well thats how it is, but there is good reasoning backing it up aswell, for girls sex is not just sex, its always more. Its difficult for women to change partners, although there are some who would be more sexually active then others they still keep it to a level. Guys on the other hand treat sex as sex! Its more of a natural instinct sort of a thing, its prominent with girls more, because of the problems such as pregnancy.

the above is the basic theory so to speak, so if one were to act differently that would pose you as more care free or even reckless and ofcourse the possible repercussions aswell! The society has been run by men and it always will be, ever wonder why you wear those painful heels confused It because men made you those for shoes...heels make the women features more prominent! its sad but thats how it is!

Last edited by chrisredfield at 4:13 am, Oct 12 2007

Post #74105
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8:40 pm, Oct 21 2007
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I do think that people should not fool around too much, but I also believe that there should be sex before the wedding, because if they are not in the same page about that the marriage would no last long since he/she (does not happens only with boys) would go look in other what they can not get with their partners, and in my opnion that is the end!!!

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Post #74110 - Reply to (#67536) by chrisredfield
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8:56 pm, Oct 21 2007
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Quote
well thats how it is, but there is good reasoning backing it up aswell, for girls sex is not just sex, its always more. Its difficult for women to change partners, although there are some who would be more sexually active then others they still keep it to a level. Guys on the other hand treat sex as sex! Its more of a natural instinct sort of a thing, its prominent with girls more, because of the problems such as pregnancy.

the above is the basic theory so to speak, so if one were to act differently that would pose you as more care free or even reckless and ofcourse the possible repercussions aswell! The society has been run by men and it always will be, ever wonder why you wear those painful heels confused It because men made you those for shoes...heels make the women features more prominent! its sad but thats how it is!


...well I just wear heels cuz I think they look nice and they're good looking shoes. I never knew it had anything to do with social conformation of the sort. I don't wear them cuz I'm trying to impress men or fall into social norms, I just wear them cuz they look nice! Hey if I saw a pair of nice runners I'd wear them too.

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Post #74277
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7:14 am, Oct 22 2007
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Quote from amaranthine
I personally think that the talk about female virginity has a slightly misogynistic approach to it. I mean girls who had slept with a lot of different guys are called slut/bitch/etc. but for a guy who has done the same… its seen as a good thing. Heck, they brag about it.

Sex is just like one of the main things that a man thinks about..

If you had to say 3 words that define a man in your point of view (from an objective standpoint),.. most people would definitely say sex, or something like that, as one of those words..

So, because 'sex' is one of the main things that a man focuses on... Men who sleep with a lot of women, are usually called players(which is referred to as a positive word, at least more positive than 'slut').. It's like the man is just doing what it is supposed to do.. (Just like a chicken is supposed to lay eggs)

Fellow men, then usually encourage/congratulate those kind of men; 'Players'.. They don't hate them and if they do, then it's out of jealousy...

Now, what I mentioned earlier with the 3 words... If you apply that to women, sex doesn't directly come in to your mind(from an objective standpoint).. But, you can correct me if you want bigrazz ..

So, when a woman does sleep with a lot of men, she will be portrayed as a 'slut'... A person who you shouldn't be acquainted with...

I'm not defending 'players' or attacking women who are called 'sluts'... I'm just trying to state my opinion on to why that players are set in a more positive light...

P.S. Comments may not apply to all men.. I'm just generalizing here, folks.. bigrazz

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Post #74353 - Reply to (#62445) by amaranthine
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9:49 am, Oct 22 2007
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Quote from amaranthine
Even if evolution works that way, I still don’t see how that justifies the unequal treatment of men and women on the issue of sexuality. That was the point I was trying to make… like when I said that the evidences he offered were all just an excuse. I’m really bad at this stuff, huh? laugh

It is worse in those Arabian like countries, not only their marriage is arranged and normaly the woman is much younger than the man, but also the woman must be a virgin and the man is not. That is just wrong! And a woman "inpure" disgraces her family, but those guys go to strip club and such and is quite righetous of them... I gues they go to very pure strip clubs.

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Post #74364 - Reply to (#74353) by tps2
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9:58 am, Oct 22 2007
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Quote from tps2
Quote from amaranthine
Even if evolution works that way, I still don’t see how that justifies the unequal treatment of men and women on the issue of sexuality. That was the point I was trying to make… like when I said that the evidences he offered were all just an excuse. I’m really bad at this stuff, huh? laugh

It is worse in those Arabian like countries, not only their marriage is arranged and normaly the woman is much younger than the man, but also the woman must be a virgin and the man is not. That is just wrong! And a woman "inpure" disgraces her family, but those guys go to strip club and such and is quite righetous of them... I gues they go to very pure strip clubs.


That's not true.. biggrin

Though, coincidentally, we saw a movie today(with the school).. About a Pakistani arranged marriage.. called 'Ae Fond Kiss'...

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Post #74400 - Reply to (#74364) by Dr. Love
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10:16 am, Oct 22 2007
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Quote from Dr. Love
Quote from tps2
Quote from amaranthine
Even if evolution works that way, I still don’t see how that justifies the unequal treatment of men and women on the issue of sexuality. That was the point I was trying to make… like when I said that the evidences he offered were all just an excuse. I’m really bad at this stuff, huh? laugh

It is worse in those Arabian like countries, not only their marriage is arranged and normaly the woman is much younger than the man, but also the woman must be a virgin and the man is not. That is just wrong! And a woman "inpure" disgraces her family, but those guys go to strip club and such and is quite righetous of them... I gues they go to very pure strip clubs.


That's not true.. biggrin

Though, coincidentally, we saw a movie today(with the school).. About a Pakistani arranged marriage.. called 'Ae Fond Kiss'...

There are those who doesn't mind but I believe the most would like to marry someone they love not someone their parents love.

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It is advantageous to a woman to have sex with a man who is young, virile, has good genes, which is frequently shown by a mans level of attractiveness. It is then advantageous to the woman to partner permanently with a reliable secure mate. Note that these are not the same things. In birds it is a commonly observed phenomenon for a female to cuckold its permanent mate with a more genetically favourable male. This also occurs in humans. One way to demonstrate this is to talk about the size of a males testes, their is a correlation between testicle size and partner infidelity. Also, there is a not insignificant occurence of children who do not genetically match the fathers on their birth certificate.

I say these things not because I believe that cheating is morally correct, but because I hate it when people go on about sexual evolutionary biology as destiny. This knife can cut both ways, and the fact that we are capable of overriding our instincts means that we should not use biology to excuse prejudices.

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1:56 am, Oct 31 2007
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Well I know only one woman physically, my wife. I lost my virginity with her and so did she with me. I don't know for her but in my case I didn't preserved myself for the wedding. It just kind of happened like that sad . Before I met her the other girlfriends I had just didn't want to do it with me yet. Well I met my wife when I was 18, so the previous girlfriends were kind of too young (and so was I).

But I wasn't attracted to my wife because she was a virgin. I noticed her because she is beautiful (imagine an asian girl half my weight with long black straight hairs down her waist - I am less than 100 kg by the way). I found out shortly later that she was smart and still is (She's is a scientist now). After that how could I have eyes for anybody else? It was not easy though. It took me eight years to marry her... The fact that she's from chinese decent didn't help (the parents would have prefer a chinese guy). dead

Now, I have a daughter. And a son. When she will be a teenager I really don't know how I will react toward her boyfriends. That will not be a pleasant period of my life, I guess. For my son, I don't really worry. I don't know why but I am more scared of my daughter's future teenage years than my son's. But I really don't expect them to be virgin at their wedding. I just hope they will do it only when they will feel more than desire with their first partner.... and that it will be the latest possible. cry

For the one who complain how unfair it is to put so much importance on girl's virginity and so few on boy's, I think there will never be aquality here. From the beginning there is a big difference : girl's virginity can be checked while you have to take the boy's word on this.

Last edited by mugglezor at 5:42 am, Oct 31 2007

Post #81287 - Reply to (#80410) by mugglezor
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7:45 pm, Oct 31 2007
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Quote from mugglezor
For the one who complain how unfair it is to put so much importance on girl's virginity and so few on boy's, I think there will never be aquality here. From the beginning there is a big difference : girl's virginity can be checked while you have to take the boy's word on this.


This is true, however, you must remember that a woman's hymen can be broken by asexual things such as gymnastics, riding a horse, or even falling down the stairs. A woman can also have her hymen reconstructed via plastic surgery. Checking to make sure the hymen is intact is an unreliable way to ensure virginity.

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