Zubs: You totally got me there. Haha... I strongly agree with you. It does suggest something about the character of the person... and developing those habits is not a good thing.

I still stand by my view that cussing is acceptable. I will never say that the world will be made up (or even should be made up) of 100% people with sparkling personalities/character.

bully_jesus: YES! That was another point I wanted to say, but I don't think I quite go around to conveying it. Words and meanings are totally separate things. Because I may cuss, does not necessarily mean that I'm going out of my way to offend the people around me. It was just an expression of my thoughts. If I were to say mean things without cussing, I believe the effect would be much worse -- and in fact, would degrade the person's character much more than random swearing.

Although, it's in my opinion that you have a weak argument when talking about animals and their characters. :/ I don't consider most to be cognitive... so I can't really judge a character of an animal.

otakubaybay: If you don't mind me asking, what happened? I've always held you in high regard on these forums, so I'm sure that many of us would probably be shocked by what was said to you. If anything, I'm sure all of us at MU want to help you get rid of that emotional scar.

But then again, if it's too sensitive, disregard replying. ^_^;; that's cool, too.

-Max

But even so, they are just words. It all depends on how you take them. Basic instinct when your loved ones tell you something you don't want to listen to is ignoring it. so words have no meaning if you are not a sensative crying adult. (baby is inacurate bacause they are the least sensative until they loose there innocence.)

Bonnie Nuit,

Rêver De Déesse

Quote from ReverdeDeesse

But even so, they are just words. It all depends on how you take them. Basic instinct when your loved ones tell you something you don't want to listen to is ignoring it. so words have no meaning if you are not a sensative crying adult. (baby is inacurate bacause they are the least sensative until they loose there innocence.)

Although what you are saying makes sense in theory, I don't think it is very realistic. When a mother says to you I don't love you, how exactly would you rationalize this comment in a way that wouldn't hurt yourself. Although I'm sure one could put up a front to cover up the hurt and act like everything is fine, but the wound of such a comment is still there. I for one could never ignore my Dad if he were to call me a failure and a disappointment. For one I love my dad and I respect him a lot and to hear him say that isn't something that is very ignorable. Can you honestly in your heart of hearts say that you have never been hurt when someone has said something devastating to you? Can you honestly say that in your entire life there wasn't one moment where someone said something hurtful that hasn't left at least a little scar on your heart?

The insane don't need words.

EDIT (don't double post please):
I don't belive in this theoretic heart. The heart has no emotional feelings.

Bonnie Nuit,

Rêver De Déesse

F*ck, no!

Quote from DeLtA_IjK

otakubaybay: If you don't mind me asking, what happened? I've always held you in high regard on these forums, so I'm sure that many of us would probably be shocked by what was said to you. If anything, I'm sure all of us at MU want to help you get rid of that emotional scar.

But then again, if it's too sensitive, disregard replying. ^_^;; that's cool, too.

Oh, I'm flattered ^_^ I don't really mind telling, although it's kind of embarrassing. She didn't say much to me really and if I were to just tell you what she said without the whole story, I feel like it would make me seem over sensitive, but if I were to say the whole story I would be here alllll night, so I'll just give you a brief. I've known this girl for about 4 years. She was and still is the worst person I know. She is racist, selfish, rude, inconsiderate all to the extreme and yet, I found myself liking the spite and rebelliousness in her attitude and overall personality. We have so much history. At times, we were very close and other times, we weren't speaking at all. The time she said this to me, we were very close. She was my best friend. She mattered sooo much to me. But then one day on the phone, she said "I only have one best friend. And that's John." It took me a few minutes to realize what this meant. It was like I was in shock. My world had been shaken. I felt emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. I had wasted so much time on her; I was there for her when she needed me, even though she failed to do vice-versa. I spent so much time with her and I supported her. She made me see things from a different angle and I had so much fun with her. I tried my best to save her from the path I knew she was headed for. I wanted to hate her, I wanted to hate her so badly. But I just couldn't. She made an amazing difference on my life that I will never forget. We drifted farther apart after I got over it, but I still tried my best to save our friendship. She made no effort and completely forgot about it. I didn't realize it until recently, but after that I went into depression. Nowadays, I can get sad, but not nearly as sad as I had felt in that time. I would cry before I went to sleep and just live my life with little enthusiasm, all the while hiding how I felt. No ambition, no desire, just an empty presence. I'm not really sure how I came out of it. I guess, slowly my wounds healed. I obviously still have scars, but they're much easier to deal with now. Besides, crying five times a week is not my style 🙂 No one knows what I went through in that time (except you guys now I guess) and I'm not really sure I will ever share it with anyone I know personally, especially her. I still see the girl who did this to me everyday. Well, not anymore since we're on vacation, but I'm sure I'll see her again next year. We're on good enough terms that we'll talk in the hallways occasionally and hug when we see each other, but she doesn't know that it's actually painful for me to do so. I signed her yearbook the last day of school and she signed mine. I wrote in hers: "It's been a long year. I don't think you'll ever understand how big of an impact you've had on my life..." or something along those lines. At that moment, I turned to my current best friend and said "I don't mean that in a good way" with tears in my eyes 🤣 (I was already crying cuz it was the last day and all 🙄 ) And I really didn't, but it's not like I would tell her.

Jeez, I feel like I left out so much, but I hope you get the just of it 🙄 Please note that I'm a girl, otherwise this post would sound very strange (still kinda does) 😀

Another terrible phrase that just ticks me off is "you wouldn't understand." Especially when someone close to you says it. My best friend said that to me once and I got so upset. We already weren't talking for a month and then she to go and say that?! I was messed up for 3 days after that, but I "got over" it. Meaning she doesn't know that I still hold that against her and I will never forgive her for it.

Bottom line, words can have an amazing impact on people. I know how offensive cuss words can get, but I don't use them in that respect, or at least to their face >.>...

@ReverdeDeesse--->No double posting! Combine please! 😀

Sorry for getting so personal, and the long post ^_^'''

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@ Otakubaybay i totaly agree with you, words have great impact on people, and that was one helluva story, you gotta choose your friends carefuly...that girl sounds creepy..but the most important thing is that you got over her 😀

actually i was fascinated by that kind of person too when i was in high school but thankfuly i used the look and don't touch mode 😀

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y the fck wud i fckin curse?

Quote from ranmaru

@ Otakubaybay i totaly agree with you, words have great impact on people, and that was one helluva story, you gotta choose your friends carefuly...that girl sounds creepy..but the most important thing is that you got over her 😀

actually i was fascinated by that kind of person too when i was in high school but thankfuly i used the look and don't touch mode 😀

I guess I'm bad at choosing friends or something. My group of friends consists of a whore, a party whore, and an idiot 🤣 but you didn't hear that from me >.>...

Something about her personality is just infectious; other people have become victim of it too. The funniest thing is that she put on her myspace: "I have been told I have a great personality." I laughed out loud when I saw that 🤣 The person who said that to her must have been joking cuz that's a flat out LIE 😃

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Hahah... aww...

I understand what you mean. Sometimes, it's just the blatant carelessness about your existence by someone you thought was your best friend that hurts the most. Sorry that happened. 🙁

lol... hmmm... although this is tangential, would you ever tell her to her face that she doesn't have that great of a personality?

It's slightly related to cussing in the fact that it's mostly verbal abuse... but, I dunno. I think that there's another line differentiating these topics: cussing, words that are hurtful, and words that are truthful.

Although truthful words can be mean, they are constructive in some way. Cussing can be hurtful, but can never have any constructive aspect to it.

And mean words are just. blah. They're just bad. ;P Esp when your whole goal is to hurt the other person.

But, what about the ignorant phrases that someone says similar to what your friend said? I think negligence and taking your friendships for granted is probably worse than cussing.

Thus, Truthful > Cussing > Ignorant words > Verbal abuse

haha... at least, that's the conclusion I've come to.

-Max

@DeLtA_IjK--->
If the situation did call for it, like if she was making me mad or something, I would blantantly say it to her face 🤣 Maybe jokingly though cuz I'm not that mean a person; I can't do what she did to me, but even then I doubt it would effect her much cuz she's just that way. If I hurt her physically then said it, I'm sure she would get that I meant it, but I won't hurt her unless the situation called for it, so I'm back at the beginning 😛 I'm sure it would feel good to tell her "You're a bitch. You're the worst person I know." cuz I know it's true, but then I just sound masochistic or something 😛 and I'd feel guilty about it eventually. Besides, she's already been told that no one really likes her 🤣 It bothered her, but I'm guessing she forgot about it already.

I don't think what she said to me is verbal abuse cuz she didn't mean it to hurt me, it was just very ignorant of her to say that. Although if there was cussing, then it would be verbal abuse...I think ^_^'''
If the person who said it meant to hurt the person they're telling then it's definitely verbal abuse. There's also other factors: tone of voice, hand gestures, facial expressions, etc; so it's hard to determine whether it's verbal abuse if you can't hear it or see it. When they're saying something true, but hurtful, then it's just flat out ignorance. But if they're saying it in a different matter (using one or more of the factors I mentioned above, etc.), then it's verbal abuse, whether offensive or not.

Or I could just be rambling on and on 😛 Seriously, my head is spinning a little @_@... 😀 Did I make any sense? 😲

But yeah, cussing in any situation usually never helps unless you're on the offensive.

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@Otakubaybay

        thats a sad story, it seems wierd to hear it from somebody so young. (Gandalfvoice: She,the one called Otakubaybay, is wise beyond her years. )  
      anyway, if it helps i'll timewarp a hug back in time when you needed it. But as you seem to say you learned a lot. It really hurts to realize that a friendshio/relationship is unbalanced or mostly onesided. That lesson might help you in a futur relationship. It's a pretty common way for relationship to lose their balance. ( yes, it happend to me ) So, hope those scars heal.

Another terrible phrase that just ticks me off is "you wouldn't understand." Especially when someone close to you says it.

That i understand!

My best friend said that to me once and I got so upset. We already weren't talking for a month and then she to go and say that?! I was messed up for 3 days after that, but I "got over" it. Meaning she doesn't know that I still hold that against her and I will never forgive her for it.

Em, i think that might be a bit of a overreaction. Not that i know the situation, but i don't think any comment is worth never being forgiven. Everybody has bad days and says things that they didn't mean the way people understood. Please don't think i am telling you what to do, i'm just trying to give some advice.

@Delta_Ijk
cool for backing me up 🙂

Although, it's in my opinion that you have a weak argument when talking about animals and their characters. :/ I don't consider most to be cognitive... so I can't really judge a character of an animal.

I am not really the best person to back this up, because i don't really like animals very much. However, I once talked to a Farmer about this and he said some pretty intresting things. For example he had a cow whose calf had died young last year, and the next year she was overbaringly protective of her calf. He said that animals very much have characters.
Dogs are a good example too. I recently started a new relationship with a girl who has a dog so i am not by choice taking a crash course in dog habits.
One thing that happend is this, the dog got jealous of me being the center of my girlfriends attention and would come up and push herself between the two of us. I am sure if you talk to other dog owners they can confirm that dogs of the same race can have very different personalities.

@bully_jesus--->Thanks ^_^

Yeah, it's kinda not ever forgiving her, but more like I won't be able to forget it and will be stored somewhere in the back of my mind ^_^''' It was too harsh and cold a phrase for me to forget 🙁

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I cuss around my parents and family but never around teachers, kids, and older more strict adults.

"Congratulations, you lose at life."

I swear too much. Even try paying my sister a buck each time I cuss...it didn't work out too well since I went broke. 😔

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