I'm something of a worrier, and sometimes it shows pretty easily. I'm the guy who's always going - "What if this happens?" and "What if that happens?", so on. I want to be optimistic, but how can you be optimistic about something you don't stand a chance for? And how do you draw a line between optimistic and overcconfident?
Help!!!! 🙁

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

dude, im kindda on the same boat as you but what saves me every time is that i pause for a moment in a really ugly suituation and think of all the good things and the benefits that i will get out of the ugly situation.. even though they are greatly outnumbered.. talking to others about your certain worries will surely help to! they will make you realize that your worries are quite small and irrelevant 😀 i hope i helped a fellow pessimist. though im halfway to being optimistic again because of said techniques 🤣
about the optimistic and overconfident question..
its kindda hard to tell if your looking from the outside.. so im going take Luffy of One Piece as an example of overconfident because hes thinking that whatever happen he will surely win..
but an optimistic character will think of the good and the bad circumstances that may occur and then seeing the good. and the good that will happen because of the bad.

thats what i think and try to live by anyways.. 😀 😉 😃

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Well, that's good advice, especially the optimistic part. But how do you reel yourself in, and get a rein on your emotions every time the situation starts getting ugly?

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

I tend to have disastrous thoughts pretty often, but I don't let myself be bothered by them too much.
Part of becoming the wacko wrecko that I am is learning to focus on everything else, ignoring or pushing the bad thoughts away.
It's not a solution, nor is it a good suggestion, but it keeps me miles away from meltdown.
If you have the thoughts, there's nothing that can stop you from thinking them every once in a while.
So I make "diversions" of sorts by keeping my mind busy.

You don't actually have to be an optimist to think or express optimistic ideas.
Say it anyways.
Say things are great even though they aren't.
And maybe you will relax.

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If I had a fantasy self, it'd be a tentacle monster.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

But how do you reel yourself in, and get a rein on your emotions every time the situation starts getting ugly?

sleep.
if you can't, try to moves your body.. (running, swimming, etc)

[img]https://i.imgur.com/lHjrfaR.jpg[/img]

When I try to sleep, I keep on worrying. Scenarios ranging from pure fantasy to worst-case possibilities keep circling around. It usually take me about an hour to fall asleep. 🤢

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

When I try to sleep, I keep on worrying. Scenarios ranging from pure fantasy to worst-case possibilities keep circling around. It usually take me about an hour to fall asleep. 🤢

Oh I used to have this problem. I solved it by staying up until it hurt to keep my eyes open. I'm so tired that as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out like a light. I'm too tired to think and I sleep like a log. Works like a charm for me.

Quote from tactics

Quote from Casey D. Geek

When I try to sleep, I keep on worrying. Scenarios ranging from pure fantasy to worst-case possibilities keep circling around. It usually take me about an hour to fall asleep. 🤢

Oh I used to have this problem. I solved it by staying up until it hurt to keep my eyes open. I'm so tired that as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out like a light. I'm too tired to think and I sleep like a log. Works like a charm for me.

Instead of doing this, exercise until you feel like you're going to puke, then do an extra 10 minutes after that, at least 4 or so hours before you go to bed, preferably more. Cardio exercise, not weight lifting. If that still doesn't work, just pop a melatonin pill. (Melatonin is the hormone humans naturally produce that makes us sleepy - so basically you're just making yourself more tired then you normally would be. Works like a charm) Besides, exercise releases a natural hormone that makes you feel happy anyway.

Also, meditate! Whenever I worry about something, or am upset, I meditate. It takes awhile to calm down enough to get around to the meditating part, but the act of just trying to clear your mind distracts you from whatever is bothering you anyway. After your mind is clear, you can focus on the problem without bursting out in tears or whatever you do, and see how silly it is. Meditation can be done while sitting/lying down, but my favorite is to meditate when I'm exercising or taking a shower (so I'm killing two birds with one stone, so to speak).
As for actually meditating, it took me around four months to be able to actually clear my mind all the way, so maybe it's not the best short-term solution? After you're able to the first time though, then you can do it whenever.

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?

I try meditating, but I always remember something else I should be doing 😛 When I do meditate, though, I really like it. As for the excercise, I'll take that advice. Let's see if it works.

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

You know what also helps? Talking it out... venting your stress to someone you trust... I was in your shoes last month... talk about lack of sleep... more like... couldn't eat (wanted to puke while eating every meal no matter how hungry and weak I was...)

And yeah... if you can't sleep, exercise and shower before bed. Don't start popping pills... I've seen the side-effects on an addict, and it's not good.

I don't have anybody to talk to 😢
There's only one guy I really trust, and he just moved away. His phone also not working properly.

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

Talk to the 2D girls on your computer.

Works wonders for me.

Quote from Dafat-MKII

Talk to the 2D girls on your computer.

Works wonders for me.

Shared laptop 🙁

Honestly, it seems like forever since I felt truly happy. I may put on a smile everyday, but it's as fake as a New York socialite's boobs 😛 . A few days ago, I took some pics with my friends of all of us, in which I was smiling. I was truly happy then, to a certain degree. But when I look at them now, heck, when I looked at them on the same day, it felt like that smiling guy was someone else, and not me.
Am I crazy, or just wierd?

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

I'm something of a worrier, and sometimes it shows pretty easily. I'm the guy who's always going - "What if this happens?" and "What if that happens?", so on. I want to be optimistic, but how can you be optimistic about something you don't stand a chance for? And how do you draw a line between optimistic and overcconfident?
Help!!!! 🙁

Haha, I can identify myself with this. I'm also a worrywart to the extreme. But I'm starting to learn how to deal with myself. I often imagine what would happen if I tripped there (in front of a car) or dropped the knife there (on mine or my friend's foot) and things like that, but mostly I actually worry about the things I don't do. Other than that, I always dwell on awkward or unpleasant situations and I always worry about things that are to happen or could happen, but it's really a matter of way of thinking.

From what you're writing, I don't think it's a matter of optimism versus overconfidence. It's a matter of you learning to be a bit more positive.

I don't know how big the problems are that you are experiencing right now, because depending on the problem there are different ways of obviating or dealing with them.

If it's just plain pessimistic thinking in your daily life, you have to change your way of thinking and learn to appreciate the small things and I really mean the small things, like how you smiled because of that or had a great moment when you woke up or ate lunch.

If you're fearing things that are going to happen, just think: "what is the ultimately worse scenario," often it's not THAT bad actually. I have a phobia of doctors and I hate situations where I have to take a stand alone, and I'm bad at appreciating myself, but I've learned that things aren't that bad, I'm fairly happy and doctors aren't that scary (I tell myself that often). Yesterday I actually had a serious talk with the principal of my school (he doesn't like me), and I did well! You really have to fight to become stronger and learn to deal with your negative thoughts.

And do NOT push trouble away, it's better to place the shit on the table and get it over with.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

When I try to sleep, I keep on worrying. Scenarios ranging from pure fantasy to worst-case possibilities keep circling around. It usually take me about an hour to fall asleep. 🤢

Keep a very low temperature in your room when you go to sleep and don't sit with your computer in your bed EVER. Bed is for sleeping and sex, nothing else. If you stay in your bed too much throughout the day your body doesn't connect bed with sleep, and that could be one thing.

But other than that, you shouldn't stress yourself for having trouble sleeping. Accept that you can't sleep and do something else. Drink a glass of water (or whatever), read a book (foreign books make you tired quicker) or - as other mentioned - meditate, even though I don't know anything about that method.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

I don't have anybody to talk to 😢
There's only one guy I really trust, and he just moved away. His phone also not working properly.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

Quote from Dafat-MKII

Talk to the 2D girls on your computer.

Works wonders for me.

Shared laptop 🙁

Honestly, it seems like forever since I felt truly happy. I may put on a smile everyday, but it's as fake as a New York socialite's boobs 😛 . A few days ago, I took some pics with my friends of all of us, in which I was smiling. I was truly happy then, to a certain degree. But when I look at them now, heck, when I looked at them on the same day, it felt like that smiling guy was someone else, and not me.
Am I crazy, or just wierd?

It occurs to many people at some point in their lives, that they don't have someone to confide in. It's not something you should go totally desperato about. If it's really bad, get a web-friend to talk to. I've had about three web-friends, for at least six years, that I've confided in, and it works splendid.

And the part about not being truly happy is also fairly normal. It could be that you don't feel you have anything in common with your comrades in school, or that they're just brats. It's a part of being a teenager and growing up. Sadly, it may continue for a while. You just have to keep strong or seek company some other place.

Erh.. I've given some general advice, since I don't know your situation. Hope I could help just a bit. 😛

Edit: Uh.. and about things that have occured, just accept that what's happened has happened, and take action by either dropping it or apologizing, saying what a person did wrong or whatever was the problem. As mentioned before, get the shit on the table and get it over with. 😀

Quote from hobbitelf518

=Don't start popping pills... I've seen the side-effects on an addict, and it's not good.

Melatonin is non-addictive because your body makes it naturally. As long as you take the prescribed dosage, there are no side effects aside from drowsiness. (which really isn't a side effect, since that's the point of the pill....)

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?