I'm looking for a yaoi or yuri manga where the character has to:

a) Come to terms with their sexuality (which shouldn't happen in half a page, but actually be a struggle)
b) Come out to friends/family

The manga doesn't necessarily have to contain both of these elements, though. Just one of them is alright.

B) If you haven't already read them, Mirai no Kioku and U Don't Know Me. Those I've read.

There's also a category for B: http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?page=1&category=Coming+Out+of+the+Closet

Well Honey & Honey has those two pieces. It's autobiographical so it's the author's true experiences with coming out and discovering her sexuality.

B. I Can't Even Breathe Without You is what you need for coming out to friend relationship.

Thank you for these suggestions, I'll be sure to check them all out!