I hear people talking all the time about a "man's" perspective and a "woman's" perspective on romantic relationships. Isn't that totally bogus? Don't both men and women generally expect the same things from a relationship? Commitment, honesty, decency, devotion, tenderness, fun, affection, desire... Maybe with a few exceptions based on the individual's own tastes, but nothing that's determined by their sex/gender, surely.

I find it so weird that apparently even love has been 'gendered'. Lol. Take gay and lesbian relationships, for example... They have the same number of problems/solutions as a straight couple (not counting social disapproval in most societies - I'm talking about the relationship's inner dynamics, their basic compatibility as two people). So doesn't that make it obvious that in straight couples, any differences aren't about the sex of either partner but just about their personalities?

E.g. If a man who believes that a relationship means commitment is with a woman who believes that it is not, obviously, that relationship won't work. That's not because "men" want something different from "women" - it's because in this case, one person wants something different from another person. Similarly, if a woman believes that a relationship is about shared responsibility and her male lover just happens to think that he can skive off her hard work, that, again, is a difference of opinions that has nothing to do with either partner's sex. And finally, if both people hold similar ideas about relationships, then that relationship will work just fine, because both people are compatible.

I get so sick of hearing people say, "Women just want a man with money," or, "Men just want a woman with a big rack." How denigrating to both men and women! All women are not gold-digging beyotches, and all men aren't horny douchebags! Jeezus. 😮 In fact, most people are pretty middle-of-the-road, and if incompatibilities exist in couples, it's because of different ideas they hold as individuals, rather than as representatives of some bizarre sexual stereotype. o___O;

I am also sick of hearing more apparently 'positive' stereotypes, like, "Women are more expressive in relationships," and, "Men are there to be practical pillars of support." Erm, yes, but why are the roles mutually exclusive? Aren't men also expressive and women also pillars of support? Take my brother - MOST romantically expressive man ever, soppily expressive almost, compared to his stiff-upper-lip wife. But when it comes to my parents? My Dad's the stiff-upper-lip one, and my Mum's the expressive one. I've seen similar differences in all the couples I know, regardless of generation. Because, see, my Granddad's more expressive than my Grandma, who is often taking the 'practical pillar' role, even to this day.

So aren't gender stereotypes in relationships totally bogus? Like, "Men cheat more often than women." Uh... NO. How is that even statistically possible? Obviously, the men who are cheating have women they are cheating with. (Unless they're gay-cheating with other guys, I guess?) Ergo, don't roughly the same number of women participate in infidelity? I just think that less women admit to cheating or being 'the other woman' in polls/surveys, since, again, gender stereotypes make them more embarrassed to admit it than the guys (but the difference isn't innate, you see, it's just social camouflage - that's my point). Sheesh. I know couples where the man cheated, and couples where the woman cheated, and couples where neither cheated, and couples where both cheated. Thankfully, most couples (insofar as I know!) are in the "neither cheated" category.

Same thing with sexuality. I often hear, "Men expect more sex from marriage than they get, but women neither want nor expect as much sex from their husbands," and that's... also totally bogus, as is clearly evinced by the exact opposite stereotype that also seems to prevail: "Women are horny minxes that are perpetually in heat, so if you aren't satisfying your woman, buddy, she's gonna have it off with the milkman." Um. WHAT? How can people/society hold two completely contradictory and cognitively dissonant stereotypes as being equally valid at the same time? Obviously, both ideas are complete rubbish!

There are sexually unsatisfied men, sure, but there are also sexually unsatisfied women, and sexual dissatisfaction in either partner often has to do with intimate little issues of mismatched compatibility at a very deep psychosexual level, rather than anything to do with a gender stereotype. People aren't statistics, after all! They're people. It's also entirely possible that a couple might be mutually dissatisfied, just as many are mutually satisfied - and they might be satisfied/unsatisfied about different things, even within their sex lives. The ratio of each factor is far too complex to calculate - in fact, it can't be calculated, let alone reduced to a convenient statistic or stereotype. I think that in long-term relationships, sexuality naturally takes a back-seat (no pun intended!), and even if not, then most couples try to focus on what does work rather than what doesn't, in order to keep the relationship going. Isn't that normal? When you've grown to love, care and depend on a person over a period of many years, and would still rather live your life with them than without? (Of course, those that don't want the marriage to work despite all that are welcome to, you know, just go for a divorce. It happens - especially in cases where love and care have been somehow lacking, and the lack of a satisfactory sex life is just another nail in the marital coffin. But it's got nothing to do with anyone being 'male' or 'female' - that's my point.)

So where do these stupid stereotypes come from?

Or do they actually have some basis in the real world, rather in people's demented little fantasy-worlds?

What is your opinion?

(Okay, I'm sorry for saying 'demented little fantasy-worlds' 🤣 - if I hear reasonable ideas/proof supporting theories for actual differences in relationship-expectations between the sexes, then obviously, I will listen with an open mind. No, seriously. 😀 )

well yeah.........i do think men and women have different ideas about relationships.......rather than gender it depends a hell lot more on how good you look.......if i had a face like that twilight guy...who girls swoon over and if a girl had very attractive features ofcourse their worlds would be far different than mine.......

there is also the issue of who among the partner is compromising........sometimes attractive boys/girls hang on to someone unless they find someone more appealing ......using people as back-up or just staying with them for grades.....like for example when i was in highschool i was good at studies and took clean notes... so some girls regularly asked for the notes and i helped them out...it didnt hurt me to lend it.......but on valentines .....evryone was having dates so i thought i should experience it as well and asked 2 of those girls but they made laaaaaaame xcuses........reason being...i was a little chubby and obese due to staying up late for college entrance exams studies and no exercise for months due to it.......so i say girls especially teens care about appearances too much......though they learn aftr being played around by bishonens ......and wen they are in mid twenties finaalyy wise up ......my elder sister used to have crazy punk handsome guys for boyfrinds in college but now she's 26 and is dating a average looking geek (studious/serious person)

best shonen manga couples :

shinichi X ran
natsu X erza
ippo X kumi
naruto X gaara

I dont think how people view on relationships depends on their gender FULLY. Most of the ones I know have the same views, its only the personality that makes their views on relationships different, aswell as where you came from and everything.

BUT.. sometimes i think they/WE use that "from men's perspective and women's perspective" excuse to make each other think that they are more right than the other(regarding people of the opposite sexes).

EXAMPLE: "but she's a girl so of course she thinks that." or "but he's a guy so its normal for him to be like that." But if you ask them what is their idea on relationships, its all the same. I guess it'll always be like that, huh?!?

OK, I hope you do get what I mean and didn't say anything outta topic.

i once read a quote: "For a man there are life and love, for a woman love is her life"
i can only speak from my own experience but that does apply to 80% of the persons i know personally. I think there are differences, but they are caused by the general thinking how a man or a woman should be which affects our minds since we were raised with this.

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Quote from ShadowSakura

i once read a quote: "For a man there are life and love, for a woman love is her life"
i can only speak from my own experience but that does apply to 80% of the persons i know personally. I think there are differences, but they are caused by the general thinking how a man or a woman should be which affects our minds since we were raised with this.

let me ask you this.......u are starting a serious relation with a guy and been going out for a few weeks and ge is honest and all .......but suddenly u get a offer of a high paid job u always wanted in a far away town......and he doesnt waana do long distance ....would u give up ur dream 😕

i've never met a girl who would ......maybe my experience is less but still i think most will choose job. >:-(

best shonen manga couples :

shinichi X ran
natsu X erza
ippo X kumi
naruto X gaara

yeah its mostly personality that really matters, and i dont believe in the whole "opposites attract" thing, opposites usually fight the most

Well, [generally or mostly] man is more into physical things, and woman into emotional things.
i guess those also apply in their perspective on romantic relationships. and that, explain where stereotypes come from.
ah, and even lesbian couple and guy couple, each have 'female-part' and 'male-part'
err... how i should i explain this? even in lesbian couple, one become 'female-part' while the other act as 'male-part' in their relationship.
although yes, both man and woman are expect the same things from a relationship

ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ*)笑

Quote from ajcoolim107

Quote from ShadowSakura

i once read a quote: "For a man there are life and love, for a woman love is her life"
i can only speak from my own experience but that does apply to 80% of the persons i know personally. I think there are differences, but they are caused by the general thinking how a man or a woman should be which affects our minds since we were raised with this.

let me ask you this.......u are starting a serious relation with a guy and been going out for a few weeks and ge is honest and all .......but suddenly u get a offer of a high paid job u always wanted in a far away town......and he doesnt waana do long distance ....would u give up ur dream 😕

i've never met a girl who would ......maybe my experience is less but still i think most will choose job. >:-(

i don´t have something like a dream job, so this is impossible in my case. I always wanted to be a bride (//^.^//) love is my biggest dream, the other dreams can wait

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Quote from HolyDragonX

yeah its mostly personality that really matters, and i dont believe in the whole "opposites attract" thing, opposites usually fight the most

Agree.

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Quote from darcyaglow

Quote from HolyDragonX

yeah its mostly personality that really matters, and i dont believe in the whole "opposites attract" thing, opposites usually fight the most

Agree.

Same, I think the whole "opposites attract" thing just comes from people comparing a few aspects of a couple and saying "they're different because of X and Y", but ignoring all the similarities they have elsewhere.

"It is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science."

every person has different ideas about relationships. difficult part is to find someone that has compatible ideas to yours

opposites attract each other: things you don't know are exciting
birds of a feather flock together: it's easier to stay in a long term relationship (e.g. marriage) when characters are compatible (means similar in certain aspects) and problems can actually be solved

If you look at studies that have a large sample size, overall there are some significant differences between male & female attitudes towards relationships & lots of other things. Of course there are exceptions when you look at individuals, but in general men & women tend to behave in certain ways.

One example: if you tell a woman about a problem she's more likely to listen & sympathize, but if you tell a man about the same problem he's more likely to try to "solve" it. Again, these are general tendencies & many individuals will behave differently.

I've read research about how male & female brains are "wired" differently in some respects, but it's been a while so I don't have any links. Any research is a generalization & there will be plenty of exceptions - after all, just because "overall, men are taller than women" it doesn't follow that every man will be taller than every woman.

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

My answer is....well yes, kinda.

But not because they're men or women. To me it just seems that opposite genders don't synchronize(I'm not so sure about my choice of words) in romantic relationships sometimes because there are opportunities to not synchronize with the opposite gender in romantic relationships. Unless you're gay of course, but that'd be a different story. My point is men and women have different ideas about relationships because people in general have different ideas about relationships.

First thing, Im a man
I can deny every point you made in the question, but that would take too longto write, so I'm only talking about cheating....Men and Women relationship is sure something I would like to discuss with someone who thinks like you in person

About cheating men DO cheat more than women, why? We are horny bastards, and that's a fact confirmed by science; When a man cheats it is almost never related to loving or not his partner, men cheat because they want to reproduce, and for reproducing any healthy woman will do. So, for men, cheating doesn't mean not loving, if he cheats but stay with the girl he cheated on it means he likes her more than the girl he fucked and forgot about.
Now for girls, MOST(there are horny woman as well) girls only cheat when they don't love her partner or is mad with him for some reason

Now, I'm in a relationship(1 month left for our 2 years yay!) and find unnaceptable for a man to cheat, if you love her, show that in as many ways as you can, not cheating is something that takes MUCH self control(for men) and love. ""soo if I don't love her i can cheat?"". If you don't love her just break up, a relationship like that is common and always end up with the girl hurt

In your post you say most couples you know neither cheated?... I would like to know where do you live, in my world, every man I know (aside me) that is in a relationship cheats. Now, its obvious men wouldn't tell a girl they know they cheat, if he cheats he probably want to fuck her too, that said, its not good for him that other woman have a bad image of him, when his relationship ends, most girls will know he cheats and won't want to be with him
You say too that it's statistically impossible for men to cheat more.....well that would be in a world that every man and every woman is engaged, I can go out tonight and kiss single girls I won't remember the name tomorrow, I would be cheating, they wouldn't not, they would be just having fun.

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