Yeah, yeah, BL is an escapist genre. It isn't meant to be realistic. In fact, it's meant to be as far from realistic as possible. I've come to more or less accept this. But I've never really been satisfied by it.

There must be some stories that stray from the typical secretly heteronormative girl-porn with sparkles and globular tears and ridiculous. There must be a few that bear at least some passing resemblance with the real world. I have faith in humanity!

Good examples of what I'm looking for:
Nemureru Mori no Binan and Tomoi - Probably the best example of a female author going to lengths to portray male homosexuality realistically.
Partners - A well-researched, gorgeously-executed depiction of the 1980s gay BDSM scene in New York.

Sort-of examples of what I'm looking for:
Saigo no Sangatsu - A very true-to-life portrayal of a boy struggling with his awakening sexuality, written by a person who is actually a gay man (even if he is probably a pedophile). The only minus is the skeevy rape scenes.
The works of Yamashita Tomoko - If they don't really depict homosexuality realistically (established straight guys conveniently turning gay abound), they at least depict mature life and emotion realistically, and that is almost as good.
The same goes for the works of Yoshinaga Fumi.

yoneda kou is a great mangaka, seven days is a good manga though maybe a bit unrealistic- but really good nevertheless, and the carp on the chopping block jumps twice and its sequel pretty good, hope that helps!

You can find realistic stories in NISHIDA Higashi work
For example in Mitsumete Itai and Subarashii Shitsuren

"I exist, that is all, and I find it nauseating" -Sartre

Quote from alguien123

You can find realistic stories in NISHIDA Higashi work
For example in Mitsumete Itai and Subarashii Shitsuren

I read Negai Kanae Tamae and don't think it's realistic at all. O_o It's a bit different from usual yaoi but that doesn't mean it's realistic. It actually still has some typical yaoi elements to create drama for those female readers. Haven't read this author's other works though.

Kyuuso wa Cheese no Yume Omiru is pretty realistic to me
and a lot of miyamoto kano's works

Try Kyuugou? Edit: However, I'm not really sure what you mean by "realistic" 'cos there're all sorts of gay men on planet earth and even some of the stereotypical characters in BL are pretty similar to certain types of gay men found in real life? 😕

Like there're the heavily sexualized kinda gay men, there's the girly uke kinda guy, the naiive or totally spaced out kinda person... and so on.

And depending on the type of gay man you ask(who've already read both, that is), some would say that BL can be quite realistic while others will say that bara is... yet there'll be others who say that BL and bara have both their equivalents in terms of realism. Like some saying that Haru Daite is a good read and very very accurate in depicting gay men... 🤣 . Hell... even Alex Woolfson liked Future Memory by Kunieda Saika...

http://www.yaoi911.com/yaoi-review-future-lovers-by-saika-kunieda/

Well.. maybe try TAKAO Hiroi's works? Much of it is highly sexualised stuff which feels like it was written by a bunch of gay men... lol.

Edit:

Maybe... Les Sciences et les Fantaisies ? I'm not sure how realistic it is but the people feel like people?

INARIYA Fusanosuke's works?

KOTOBUKI Tarako's works?

KUNIEDA Saika?

TAKANAGA Hinako?

Yume Musubi Koi Musubi might just fit... slightly realistic characters and setting, I assume.

Basso

Maybe Yatteraneeze! ?

ESUTO Emu?
HONMA Akira?

I would recommend some of Naono Bohra's works. She's quite popular, but although some of her stories aren't realistic, her art is. Her men look like men and don't always follow the conventional seme and uke stereotypes. Having said that, however, she is also known for drawing ukes who can pass for semes and semes that are more pretty than masculine.

[color=plum]New York New York (when you mentioned Nemureru Mori no Binan and Tomoi, I immediately thought of this manga)

Honeydew Syndrome (different type of "high school" bl manga, check it out)

Birthday (young boys love)

Let Dai (I just loved it)

Tsutaete Ii no (realistic oneshot)

Acid Town (very interesting plot, a little too much drama to be slice-of-life, but interesting nonetheless)

Kinou Nani Tabeta? (a senein shounen-ai manga, need I say more?)

There are some other "realistic" shounen-ai's that I'm checking out. I'll reply if they are must see mangas. 😁 [/color]

Well, I ain't sure I can find any that are truly realistic, but I have some in mind that are well-described, reasonable (most of the time) and with somewhat ...manly?...interaction.

Koi ga Bokura wo Yurusu Hani - It takes a lot of time for them to acknowledge their feelings, even though it can be a bit extreme at times. I enjoyed this one quite a bit.

Dog Style (...I always recommend this, hahahaha!) Their interaction is very interesting and refreshing imo. But it's still a bunch of bishies and delinquents and fights and blah.

Sangen Tonari no Tooi Hito maybe? Can't remember it that well. Also Arashi no Ato, though I can't remember it clearly either. 😛

Yaoi stories by MIYAMOTO Kano, even though they are often pretty dramatic.

Illumination (edit: just reread this one, and it is really nice and different, I think...)

50 x 50 (though a bit silly)

Edit: Oh and also Doushitemo Furetakunai, that one is nice. Depicts some of the social problems from being gay.

Quote from GimmeShelter

[color=plum]Let Dai (I just loved it)[/color]

Me too. 😀

Edit: Also recommend Koi no Hanashi ga Shitai.