But people seem to fit those who are too nice with the idea that they also are not assertive or direct and will seemingly lead people on. Like a person may be too nice and instead of telling some how they really feel. They are perhaps too noble or selfless and are willing to forsake their own feelings to protect others.

they may try to avoid hurting someone's feelings at all costs

Exactly and I guess I'd have too see this as lack of backbone to string people along like that. Hurting their feelings now and being honest with them would help to prevent potential major "OMG we are all gonna die!!" things that could pop up.

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Bibliophile at heart, Bibliomania threatening to consume my soul.

Quote from Papermaster

they may try to avoid hurting someone's feelings at all costs Exactly and I guess I'd have too see this as lack of backbone to string people along like that. Hurting their feelings now and being honest with them would help to prevent potential major "OMG we are all gonna die!!" things that could pop up.

Yep. But those who are "too nice", though they have good intentions ("I can't say that, it would hurt his/her feelings!") can end up causing more problems than they avoid. I would rather be told the truth (gently, if possible 🤢 ) than have someone try to make me not feel bad by hiding the truth from me.

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

Yes same here even if the truth kills my positive mood, ideas, thoughts, feelings. I'd rather feel the pain right away then feel like I was being betrayed later on. I would want nothing to do with the person the longer than waited cause I guess it would just make me feel like total trash for ever thinking I could trust them and be lead along for such a long time.

Not so much nice people in general, but nice people who can't be honest with themselves and those they claim to care for.Bliss bathed in lies is not to my liking.

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Bibliophile at heart, Bibliomania threatening to consume my soul.

Quote from Papermaster

Back on subject being nice sucks because people try to use you.

Doesn't mean you have to be an ass to people for no reason. I don't recall trying to use you Meta.

Was that directed at me or a general statement? I don't remember being an ass to you. And if it seemed like it then I apologize.

The best darkness is strange and surprising. – Alucard

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert Einstein

Quote from Meta

Quote from Papermaster

Back on subject being nice sucks because people try to use you.

Doesn't mean you have to be an ass to people for no reason. I don't recall trying to use you Meta.

Was that directed at me or a general statement? I don't remember being an ass to you. And if it seemed like it then I apologize.

ok....people are getting too personal here......

In my opinion, none of you are nice.......well, maybe except Manick.....and Faye....I'm not sure....the definition of 'nice person' is too broad.

[color=green]Life, what would it be without so much wrongs and rights?
[/color]

[color=red]Star Trek XI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZiR-NETDr0[/color]

Guys, keep it civil in here.

A just ruler amongst tyrants

If you're too nice, I'm 100% sure people will take advantage of you all the time..

Also I guess, when you're 'too nice', you really don't have a great self-esteem.. Because if you had one, you would say 'no' sometimes to people..

'Too nice-people' are usually people with low self-esteem, and don't really stand out that much.. And by being 'nice' they avoid getting hated/disliked by the person who asked, plus they can be 'friends/acquaintances'...

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Quote from Dr. Love

Also I guess, when you're 'too nice', you really don't have a great self-esteem.. Because if you had one, you would say 'no' sometimes to people..

'Too nice-people' are usually people with low self-esteem, and don't really stand out that much.. And by being 'nice' they avoid getting hated/disliked by the person who asked, plus they can be 'friends/acquaintances'...

Hey! I detest that statement! I'm not too nice but you're right I can't say no. I have some self-esteem. I swear! I just need to dig it up.
Oh, yeah, one other thing, could/would you count some smart people as being too nice? thinks about this really smart girl that always helps when I have problems in French
"Edit edit edit: She stands out but she's really nice."
Is this why I supposedly (is it really supposedly?) hate my friends?
So, any advice on how to say no to "friends" (cough) to "nice" people/me for now?

I always thought of a nice person being someone that always helps people. They don't complain. (and like others said) They try not to hurt other people's feelings. They have manners. Hey, manners were so designed for nice people. They help their friends in times of need. They don't hold grudges. They forgive easily. Relationships, yeah, I guess they would get into relationships easily and out of them, all because they can't say no and the other person is displeased with their equal kindness to others. Think of Ren in Skip Beat! (I call it product placement for someone else's product.) That's all I want to say now.
Edit: I forgot to answer the topic. If being too nice is too hard for others then it's those other people's faults not the nice person. Just because we can't seem to follow our parents' rules/lessons properly doesn't mean it's their fault that they can.
Edit edit: Nice people do have self esteem (the real nice people not me). They have self-esteem and they're willing to say no, if it's wrong (that's why they're called nice people not push-overs). Also, they usually know when they're being taken advantage of by others. Listen to them complain to their friends how all those people do is ask them for help and ignore them the other half of the time. Those nice people are being nice (because it's proper manners) but being honest with their true friends.
Edit edit edit edit: Oh yeah, what about nice people that are nice to others but using other people's money (yes the other people know about it and no it's not stealing)? Are they truly nice or are they partial moochers?

Err, okay... to sum it all up lets just say no one here is in danger of being taken advantage of because no one here is that nice... or nice at all. Next topic.

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First of all, I was talking about 'too nice-people' and not just 'nice people'...

Second of all, I was just generalizing.. Of course there are exceptions..

And last but not least, I'm going to grab something to eat.. 🤣

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Quote from Dr. Love

First of all, I was talking about 'too nice-people' and not just 'nice people'...

Oh, sorry about that. Also, I hope you didn't take me too seriously. 🤣

So, if you (anyone that sees this post not just Dr. Love) do meet a nice person and you become his/her friend. Then, you see them being taken advantage of by others would you a) try to make them not as nice b) tell those people to stop taking advantage of your friend c) do nothing (and watch it all like you're at a movie theater and it's just getting to the good part, really just kidding about these parentheses) d) other
Since watching a friend getting taken advantage of would affect you and all that.

Speaking from personal experience. Nice people help other and do favours not because they have low self-esteem and want to be loved by all (though that does apply to some), but because we (I mean me) like to see people happy. I really feel happy when I make someone happy. The problem starts here. I expect other people to live up to the same standars that I hold and that doesn't work that way. Just because I'm nice to someone doesn't mean they will be nice back. Most likely they won't. So I always am nice to people but if they don't show the same courtesy towards me then I just stop talking or hanging out with those people. I find that ignoring someone who isn't worth your time is much more effective than telling him "No" everytime he asks something. Afterall do you want to be friends with someone that constantly wants to use you?

The best darkness is strange and surprising. – Alucard

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert Einstein

I would say that he/she should say 'no' to the people who have the intent to take advantage of him/her.. You can usually see that they're those kind of people or not..

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Quote from ippy

So, if you (anyone that sees this post not just Dr. Love) do meet a nice person and you become his/her friend. Then, you see them being taken advantage of by others would you a) try to make them not as nice b) tell those people to stop taking advantage of your friend c) do nothing (and watch it all like you're at a movie theater and it's just getting to the good part, really just kidding about these parentheses) d) other
Since watching a friend getting taken advantage of would affect you and all that.

b...I dislike seeing my friends being used. Of course, it would be a lot easier to have a short and rather not nice talk with those guys, but if I want this situation to never have place again, I need to take care of my friend's attitude too. And I'm good at brainwashing 😃

btw, nice to see you here again, ippy 🙂

I forgot to write something in my previous post ( guys, 4 pages so fast? lol):
sooner or later, we all get annoyed with those nice people. And I always end up thinking their either totally baka or at least masochists.

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Still the [color=red]bad[/color] cop.

well...i'm a nice guy...i help people out form time to time...but not to the extent you guys are talking about...i don't think i've even met a person so nice that he'll cater to my every whim >.>...and with that psychology i'll admit that i might unconsciously exploit anyone who's like that...well maybe i get exploited sometimes...like my pad of paper vanishes when EVERYONE in class doesn't have a single piece of paper when theres a quiz and asks me to give them a piece of paper...and we're supposed to be college students... >.>

@ippy i would tell people to stop exploiting my friend if he was like that...though i might be the one exploiting his niceness to as i stated above. 😛

i find a good way to help people while nit getting exploited is to charge for your service...