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Relationships - on and off

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Me too ♥
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11 years ago
Posts: 1139

**Relationships - on and off ** Couples would sometimes break up, and then get back together. Sometimes the relationship is a constantly going back and forth between the two. What are your thoughts on this matter?
*Would you still consider total time dating to include the time you were broken up? (meaning counting from when you first started dating). After how many break ups would you say that the relationship is never going to work out? If the break up was for a short period of time would you consider that a break up? etc. *

My thoughts. Well I never experienced this myself, but have seen friends go through this. IMO you shouldn't include the time you were apart in with how long you've been together. If you break up once and get back together that's fine, twice is pushing it, but three times or more? Come on you know that isn't going to work out. At this point all those break ups seem to last a week tops, and I wouldn't call it a break up. I'm really not sure why people do this, maybe some people use the term break up too lightly, or maybe they are desperate to make that relationship work out. For me only one break up is needed to seriously reflect on things, if there's a second break up that would be the final one. Unless several years have passed, but even then it may still be iffy.

Sidenote: I only saw one thread about break ups, and it was what do you think is the worst way it can be done.


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Monkey. :B
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11 years ago
Posts: 1966

Well, you are saying it like breakups are only decided upon bad circumstances. Breakups can be a mutual decision and they're not always because there is something bad involved...

My current relationship has had two breakups: one when we first got together, we both decided then that we weren't ready for a long distance relationship. The second occurred about a year into our relationship after the breakup (yes, I count even the time apart from the breakup as part of the relationship), also mutual. That was more to see if we were ready to fully commit and all that jazz.

Not all breakups are the same, so they shouldn't be judged as such. The only time I would say a breakup should decide the fate of the relationship then and there and whether or not making up is in the books is if cheating or domestic violence is involved, but that's my take on it.

I am curious, you seem to be in a very happy and perfect relationship, if you ever breakup are you saying getting back together is not a possibility? >:


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Post #628382 - Reply To (#628371) by BaeSooky
Post #628382 - Reply To (#628371) by BaeSooky
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Me too ♥
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11 years ago
Posts: 1139

Yes I know all break ups aren't the same, or under bad circumstances. I'm more talking about those relationships that have a broke up bi monthly or something. I have a friend where she broke up with her boyfriend .... seven, eight times in the span of eight years. For the most part they were short broke ups, but in the end she's now longer with him. She was the best case of those on and off relationships I know of.

In your situation, for me that would fall under the it was a serious break up, and you guys reconcile after some time because things did change. (Or so I think, based off what you said). The second break up was a year later. I would think that's a decent amount of time from the first one, to give the possibility of getting back together.

Oh, but you answered the one thing I wanted to know. Do you count the time apart when you say I've been dating for ___ amount of time. My response - I see I see.

Quote from BaeSooky

I am curious, you seem to be in a very happy and perfect relationship, if you ever breakup are you saying getting back together is not a possibility? >:

🤣 Oh that was funny Perfect. Pfffffft 🤣 I think that comment made me day.
To quote something from another thread

my relationship with my husband is both dysfunctional and stable. We really are messed up to each other, and in a loving way too.

Very stable - yes, dysfunctional and warped - absolutely, happy- meh 80-90% of the time ( Sometimes I can really hate him), perfect? 🤣 - far from it. (if you're interested in more you can PM)
To answer your question- if we ever broke up we would not get back together. Because if we get to the point of both agreeing to break up, that means we tried everything we could to make our relationship work out, everything. I could still see myself being friends with him if we did break up, but we would never get back together. (Not saying a few flings won't happen, but we would never remarry, or be together romantically).

Have you BaeSooky (or anyone else ) known anyone with that constant breaking up, and getting back together, to the point where it's almost normal for them? ( Or you can see that the relationship is doomed, they are just putting it on life support).

Sidenote - Perfect. That laugh really made my day. Thanks.


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Yes yes, I know I make longwinded comments, but that's just me >.<
I should proof read my comments more, but I won't...
So keep in mind I'm filled with typos

Check out FAQ and Forum Rules if you haven't yet.
For errors linking in threads

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