Themes of Trauma and Healing
The premise of the manga is hard-hitting, with the trauma of rape being briefly mentioned, but there are additional depictions of a non-consensual kiss and a few consensual ones, although nothing steamy (probably an age rating of 12+). The trauma is shown as multifaceted, with some gradual healing, but ultimately, the manga takes a simplified, immature, and very shoujo-esque approach to the healing process. This may trivialise the experiences of rape survivors, as it suggests that puppy love can heal trauma way too easily, but I guess this may appeal more to younger audiences. While the representation of trauma is shallow, it does somewhat convey how PTSD can manifest in different ways, such as androphobia, romantic repression, indecisiveness, and tsundere behavior.
Character Development (FL and ML)
Both main characters are immature, but given their teenage ages, this feels justified. In the first few chapters, my heart really went out to the FL and the angst in both her and the ML’s perspectives was done well. FL’s emotional responses, such as crying easily, are not due to weakness but are a trauma response. Her tendency to change her mind frequently also reflects the indecisiveness often seen in individuals with PTSD. Despite her pain, FL manages to laugh around other girls, demonstrating resilience. She also is unconscious (or perhaps self-repressed) regarding love. It was refreshing to see a shoujo FL with solid reasons for her characterisation, even if it was somewhat generic.
ML starts off as a bit of a jerk but becomes a whole lot more considerate after learning about FL’s trauma. While he makes a serious mistake (a non-consensual kiss), his confusion about her randomly emotional reactions is understandable. I dislike how this era of shoujo normalised and romanticised the pushy, reformed playboy trope, but thankfully, ML doesn’t really embody it. Though he’s forceful at times, his actions stem more from immaturity and ignorance than any malice.
Relationship Dynamics
A bit of stiltedness in character interactions is typical of this genre, so I didn’t mind it too much. The relationship between FL and ML devolves into typical shoujo bickering. It starts off complicated, with FL sending negative signals that frustrate ML. He tries to maintain physical distance, understanding that he makes her uncomfortable, but lapses into ignorance of her boundaries at times. There's a moment where he says, “It’s your fault for being so cute,” which, while meant to be immature, could be misinterpreted as victim-blaming. This lack of nuance is typical in shoujo, but I guess I can overlook it (albeit reluctantly).
The dynamic of persistent chasing after a love interest is a trope I’m not fond of. While it isn’t entirely one-sided (FL does approach him when he distances himself), I found it uncomfortable when ML grabbed her hand. That said, I appreciated the moment when ML says, “I’ll let you go, so don’t run away,” which shows his change in tact. Despite the flaws, the jealousy shown by both FL and ML was cute and added to the relationship development.
Side Characters
One downside is the lack of developed side characters and irrelevant inclusion of an audience in certain scenes. Other characters only serve as commentary on the main relationship or as observers of the couple's PDA, which felt a bit cringe.
Art and Perspective
The art style is a bit dated, and I never found facial expressions particularly clear. However, the dual perspective (alternating between FL and ML’s POVs) was a nice touch, adding nuance to their interactions. Episode 0, which provided additional context from ML’s perspective, was insightful. It revealed that he initially thought riling FL up would help them grow closer, but he eventually realised that his selfishness was hurting her instead.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
There are some tired tropes that detract from the experience, such as lewd comments about panties. Thankfully, it’s portrayed negatively (although it’s not great that ML lashes out at FL for being subjected to an unsolicited comment). The mention of a "rounin" was a term I didn’t know before. The author's analogies describing ML’s status in FL’s eyes—going from an insect to a pet dog to a guard dog to garbage—were a humorous way of illustrating relationship development. Additionally, it was funny how the ML really held onto that umbrella in the omakes. I also felt bad for the girlfriend losing out on her cake in Episode 0.
Moments
"Why do I have to be a girl? Why can't I be strong?"
"Men have such cruel power. It's scary. Very scary."
"Can't you tell when a girl doesn't want to be touched?"
"I can't stand the person I am now, who is always checking the color of the sky."
"If you're going to cry when you're alone, whether I'm here or not, I'll stay by your side."
"I can't let her hate me more than she already does."
Oneshot
The oneshot within the main story was a bit tropey, but alright. It was refreshing that FL was able to take a stand for herself and wasn’t immediately a fawning fan of ML. However, her change of heart felt sudden, and the romance that followed was jarring. A unique aspect of the oneshot was that the song ML sang was about searching for a future lover, since most songs tend to be about present loves. This future-focused theme felt more fitting for a young adult singer. FL’s advice that you don’t have to follow the script when singing a song was an interesting and insightful addition.
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